Working Mom Vs. Stay at Home Mom – Part Two

It’s one of the first questions people ask you when you announce your pregnancy – will you stay home or continue working? It’s a tough question and one that is not answered easily. It’s also one that other people are quick to judge you for.

So we’re here to break it down for you — is it better to be a stay at home mom or a working mom? Lisa told you her side of the story as a working mom and I’m here to tell you all about staying home.

Where are my other stay at home moms? What do you think? Did I forget anything!?

What are the pros and cons of being a stay at home mom?

The biggest pro of being a stay at home mom is obviously the amount of time I get to spend with Ryan. I get to see each of his milestones as he hits them and I get to experience everything he goes through each day (the good and the bad). No matter how many cons there are, this is what makes it all worth while every second of every day.

He likes to “help” me
with the laundry

Another pro is control. I am a control freak and because I’m staying home with him I get to control what he does each day; what he eats, when he naps, what activities we do. I worked at schools and daycares and I know they’re great but I would have a hard time giving up that control with my own child.

The biggest con is probably losing a little bit of myself. I worked hard to get where I was in my career and I really enjoyed what I did. It’s tough going from completing tasks at work that make you feel accomplished to making sure the laundry is done and the house is cleaned. I’m obviously thankful that I have time to do those things during the day but it gets a little old.

Another con is lack of adult interaction. I am home most of the day with a baby and two dogs, none of whom talk back to me (even though I think they do sometimes!) Having adult interaction is necessary to feeling sane. Luckily my friends are great about texting and calling and my husband is really good about encouraging me to go out with friends often to get my dose of adult conversation.

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Have you been mom-shamed for being a stay at home mom?

Just like Lisa, I’ve mom-shamed myself. Whenever anyone asked what my plan was I would say, “I’m going to stay home for a year and then see what happens”. Our plan was to reassess after a year and see where we were financially and see how I liked it. Once Ryan was diagnosed with Down syndrome, though, it delayed my going back to work. I know I will go back eventually, it was just odd that I always felt the need to justify myself and my decision with “it’s only for a year”.

I don’t think I have ever been directly mom-shamed but I have had people say “I could never do that”, or “won’t you miss your job?”. People also said “are you sure you guys can afford that?” None of those are directly shaming but they have a certain undertone. Before I was pregnant I also heard people I know mom-shame other women for quitting their jobs and staying home, so I’m sure they have said the same about me.

Either way I think we all feel a little guilty and either way someone is going to disagree with your decision. My mom always taught me, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” so I think we should probably just stick to that if we don’t agree with the choice someone else made!

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Was the this always the plan?

I honestly don’t know! When I was young and imagining having kids I always thought I would be a stay at home mom. Then once I started working I couldn’t imagine not working. Then once I got pregnant I couldn’t imagine leaving the baby. So my plan obviously changed often depending on what was going on in my life.

Ultimately my decision was easy to make, though, because the job I had was just not conducive to being a mom along with it. It’s pretty funny since the job I had was the director of a daycare! But the daycare didn’t accept babies and my boss was about the least understanding person I know. So I knew it made sense for me to quit and become a stay at home mom (but just for a year!)

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Would you change things if you could?

I don’t think so. Although it seems like I had more cons to write about than pros I do love it. Once Ryan is old enough to go to preschool I would like to go back to work in some capacity. I still want to be able to go to school events and volunteer in the classroom so I would want something part time. 

I’ve watched the parents of my students and even my own friends and having both parents working full time looks very hard to me. I really admire those that are able to do it but I’m not sure that I would. Especially with Ryan’s therapies and extra doctor’s appointments I would definitely need something part time and/or very flexible.

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Has it impacted your relationship with moms that are in the reverse role?

Not that I know of! I have very good friends who are working moms and very good friends who are stay at home moms and I have the same relationship with them as I always have. Like Lisa said, there might be jealousy sometimes. I sometimes envy my working mom friends when they’re going to the bathroom whenever they want and enjoying their coffee before it gets cold! 

I think since I worked in the field I am able to understand the working moms’ feelings a little better than other stay at home moms so that may help. Either way I respect all of my mom friends and support the choices they make!

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Does this change your relationship with your significant other?

Maybe? I’ve never had a relationship with my significant other while being a working mom so I’m not really sure. I will say that the first year of parenthood is HARD. Everyone tells you that the first year of marriage is hard, but that was a cake walk for us. Adjusting to life with a new baby is was much more difficult for us, though.

Sure I get frustrated that all of the house work now falls on me, but I’m sure he also gets frustrated at work knowing that we are all depending on him. We made the decision for me to be a stay at home mom together and we both continue to think it’s the best decision for our family, whether it’s changed our relationship or not.

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So what’s better? Staying at home or working?

I hope after reading both of our answers to all of these questions that you realize that neither is better. I don’t think any mom is perfectly happy in their choice to be a stay at home mom or a working mom. 

Like we said, there are pros and cons to each type of mom and every family has to make their decision based on what works best for them. So let’s give each other a break and support each other! Let’s momFAME instead of mom-shame.

 

Working Mom Vs. Stay at Home Mom – Part One

It’s the great debate of our time (kidding)! Whether to stay at home with the kids or continue working. What’s the best thing for your family? Is the grass truly greener?

Well, luckily, we tried to get to the bottom of this age old question. Our two situations are very different. One of us works and the other stays at home. Here is our take on our specific situations. Part one of the blog is my view, Lisa, the working mom. 

We’d love to hear from you! What are your thoughts?

What are the pros and cons of being a working mom/stay at home mom?

For me, money is the obvious pro. Since we both work we don’t have to watch (as much) when we go out or plan that vacation. We’ve done the whole writing down expenses and cost of daycare for two and all that good stuff. When it comes down to it though, both of us working makes the most sense. 

Another pro is getting out of the house and talking with adults and having pride in what I do. I love where I work and who I work with. I’ve been there almost 11 years and, to me, it feels almost like a second home. 

Ben is the con. I wish (I really do) that I could hang out and be with him 24/7. There are so many things I want to do with him that I just can’t fit into a weekend. With the baby coming I know that I will feel this ten fold. 

Leaving your babies is NEVER easy. It really isn’t. It’s a very hard thing to do, but so many people do it. You just do your research, take recommendations and believe that your child is in the best of hands. 

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Have you been mom-shamed for being a working mother?

The sad thing here is that I’ve mom-shamed myself. No matter what I think you feel guilty one way or the other. Three months to be with your baby is really not enough time. I will 100% agree with that, but it’s what we have and it’s what we take. 

I get the question a lot about staying at home, which I think it’s a bit rude if I’m being honest. No one knows each others situation so I think it’s best to just not ask that question – ‘did you want to stay home’ or ‘why’. It’s one thing when a close friend asks you about the decision, but it’s another when someone not so close to you asks. 

Best to leave it alone.

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Was the this always the plan?

Yes. There was never a conversation otherwise. With our first we knew that we had my parents watching him the majority of his first year. We felt good about that.

The second time around is a bit harder. Two in daycare is super expensive and I completely understand why people sit down and do the math. It makes sense for us and for me to continue working. 

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Would you change things if you could?

That’s a loaded question. The grass is always greener, right?

I think if I was able to stay at home for the first six months I would be happy. I do think three months is nothing. You and your baby are just getting into the groove of things when you suddenly have to change up the routine. 

I will say, especially now that Ben is three, that I am so thankful I did stay working. He is getting what he needs and is stimulated throughout the day. I am not sure I could do that for him 24/7.

 

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Has it impacted your relationship with moms that are in the reverse role?

Honestly, maybe? It’s not that my actual relationship has changed (I love my stay at home mom friends and family).

It’s that I feel a little bit of jealousy. That’s actually a pretty weird feeling for me too. I honestly don’t get super jealous of things. I guess time spent with your child is the thing that does me in!

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Does this change your relationship with your significant other? 

Honestly, I think that it’s better because we both work. We never think if cleaning/cooking/shopping as one or the others job. We *try* to work as a unit when possible. 

I do have a more flexible work schedule so I end up doing more of the shopping and cooking, but it’s never expected. 

During dinnertime we both have a lot to talk about because we’ve just been at work and haven’t seen or talked to each other all day. Ben even gets involved in the conversations now (which is awesome).

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So what’s better? Staying at home or working?

Ha. Nothing is better than the other. I am sure you will have those moms that tell you that the mother should be at home caring for their child. 

I feel like I am teaching Ben something else. I can’t be there for him 24/7, but he is seeing that his mom and dad are equal partners in everything we do. We both go to work at the same time, we cook, we clean, we plan and we see each other as equal partners.

This isn’t to say that staying at home is any different. Staying at home could possibly be the hardest job anyone can have. 

Stay at home or working mom? What’s the difference, really? You do what’s best for you and your family. Period.

Mom of Fame – Jessica

Being a new mom is hard. Being a new mom while your husband is a firefighter is even harder. Being a new mom looks good on Jessica, though. She is a stay at home mom who started a blog to help her express herself as she navigates through this new motherhood role.

She talks about how motherhood is better than she expected it to be, how dairy is her enemy, and how being a mom has helped to bring back her sense of wonder. Please help us welcome Jessica into our Mom of Fame. Leave her some love in the comments and be sure to check out her blog using the link below.

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Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

My name is Jessica, and I am a wife to a firefighter and a stay at home momma to a sweet little 5 month old ladybug. As I am figuring out this whole mommyhood thang, I realized that I needed to have a creative outlet, and finally follow my passions of writing (end goal is to publish a few kiddo books). It just fit that I start a blog to share my own adventures anddd it just so happens that everyday is an adventure in mommyhood land:) You can read more at Adventuring to Neverland.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

The best piece of advice I was given was to sleep when the baby slept, eat when the baby ate, and groom while the baby was being groomed by daddy. I may or may not have only napped two times in the first month of our little’s life, but I definitely did take advantage of the eating and the grooming part. I know its difficult because lots of spouses do not have lots of time off to help, so I was very thankful with the way my hubby’s schedule played out.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Gosh, I think it’s better. You hear some people talk about how hard motherhood is and how they never had any time for themselves, which can be true, but I have a hard time not appreciating the little bit of perfection I get to snuggle up with on the daily. Seeing that little bug smile in the mornings melts away any struggles that may have come up the day before.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Patience [which is surprising since I’m normally not very patient], awareness, and silliness

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Our baby had a bout with gas at 3 weeks, and that was one of the hardest times I’ve gone through thus far. She was sleeping pretty well through the night, and all of a sudden, she would wake up and scream the most ear piercing scream. We were clueless as to what was happening until we exhausted all of the things it could be, and we started wiggling her legs, and then we heard a toot, and she was immediately relieved. It was then on I realized dairy was my enemy with little bug.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I don’t think I’ve lost any parts of myself since becoming a momma. I mean, I guess I may have lost the ability to look put together at all times because we definitely venture out to the grocery store looking like hoodlums sometimes, but as long as our little looks good, I think we’re excused from that 😉

I think I have gained my sense of wonder again. I think I lost it for a hot sec in my 20’s, but with our sweet baby, my mind is always wondering things now.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I’d like my kiddos to gain lightheartedness from me. I try not to let things get to me too much, and I kind of act like a kid, all the time, which helps me get through this crazy life. I’d also like my little to be kind and brave!

4 Ways Motherhood Has Pushed Me Out of My Comfort Zone

Becoming a mom has been the best thing I have ever done. It has made me a better person in so many ways. Since I was a little bit older when I became a mom (32) I was pretty set in my personality traits. Now that I have Ryan, though, I have been pushed out of my comfort zone and have changed for the better. These are the 4 ways that motherhood has helped to do that. 

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Being Social

I am a fairly social person, but I like to be social in situations that I know with people I know. Since having Ryan I have had to move past that. I have been going to new activities, sometimes with just Ryan, and I know that it is good for both of us.

After we found out Ryan’s diagnosis we joined the local Down syndrome guild and have been going to their events. First, we went to a fundraiser for World Down Syndrome Day (granted most of our friends came with us so this didn’t take me too far out of my comfort zone). Then, we went to a New Parent Breakfast and met lots of nice families that are also a part of the organization. I even joined the board of the guild so now I will be going to those meetings as well as lots of other activities throughout the year.

Since I am a stay at home mom I am also now trying to find activities during the week that Ryan and I can go to outside of the house. We signed up for the story time at our library and we have been there twice now. I was very nervous about going, but it is very fun and he absolutely loves it!

Being Less Than Nice

This may shock some friends and family but I try to be a nice person. Yes there are times when I lose my patience and not nice things come out of my mouth, but usually I try to keep it kind. When it comes to Ryan, though, Mama Bear comes out and I am as rude as I need to be.

The best example of this is a fight we are having with our insurance company about a hearing test that Ryan had when he was a few weeks old. It was a necessary test but the insurance company denied the claim because they say it was “informative or experimental” and the hospital billed us almost $400 for the routine procedure.

I have been on the phone for the past couple of months trying to deal with this and let me tell you that the conversations have not been friendly. The worst of it came when I told the woman on the phone that my son has Down syndrome and that children with DS often have hearing problems so the procedure was even more necessary and she said, “I’m sorry to hear that”. My blood boiled, I turned red, and I told her that it is nothing to be sorry about.

Although this is a silly fight to be having, I feel like it is my first dive into advocating for Ryan. He needed the procedure and I want them to acknowledge that. I know that I will have a lot more advocating to do for him as he grows up and goes through school and ventures out into the real world and this is my dress rehearsal.

Being the Center of Attention

I have never liked being the center of attention. People looking at me makes me nervous and now that I am out and about with a cute 1 year old people look all the time. Everywhere we go people tell me how cute Ryan is and try to talk to him. Obviously I appreciate the kind words, but it makes me uncomfortable, especially at this age when he can’t actually talk so I find myself answering the questions for him. 

I know this is something I am going to have to get used to because people love babies and toddlers. I also know that the positive attention is going to turn into negative attention when he is having a tantrum in the middle of the store and everybody inevitably stares at me. I have already decided this is going to be one of the hardest parts of parenting for me, and I am trying to get ready for it!

Being Demanding

Again, my friends and family may think I am already a demanding person but I really try not to be. I try to make sure everybody else is happy and comfortable and adjust my needs accordingly. Now that I have a child, though, I am definitely more demanding.

When he was a newborn I had lots of demands. I didn’t want people to kiss him, we didn’t go to parties until he was 8 weeks old because of all of the germs, and people had to wash their hands before they held him among other things. All of these seem reasonable but it felt weird to me to demand it.

I also am more demanding when it comes to making plans. I make sure to make them around his nap schedule and if that doens’t work for other people then we just can’t get together that day. This one is really hard because it obviously changes my social life, but if he doesn’t nap when he’s supposed to it just makes for a miserable day (and sometimes night) for everyone. So really, he’s the demanding one, not me!

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I knew motherhood would change me but I guess I didn’t realize how much. How has motherhood changed you? Has it pushed you out of your comfort zone? How?

Mom of Fame – Katie H.

Looking at Katie one would think that she has it all together. Adorable family, fun job and awesome clothes. She will be the first to tell you that this isn’t true. Everything takes work and she works hard for her family and herself.

Having a husband who is a pilot, working, taking care of a toddler and doing it all without a lot of family around is rough. Katie takes it and knocks it out of the park. She even has a blog and Instagram following for affordable fashion.

Thank you, Katie, for answering our questions honestly and for being so deserving of the title ‘mom of fame’!

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What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I can’t think of any specific advice that I’ve gotten, but I do remember one thing that someone said once that stuck with me. We were on a flight home from Denver when my son was just a little over a year old. My husband and I were both stressed and trying to get Jack settled into our seats when one of the flight attendants came up to us and started talking. He was telling us how he remembered having kids that age and how now he’s a grandpa. Then he said to us “Just remember, the days are long, but the years are short.” I had never heard that before, but it made so much sense. Each year seems to fly by, but each day drags on. I try to keep this in mind always, because I am so often thinking about the future or reminiscing on the past that I forget about what’s in front of me right now. I try my best to live in the moment and enjoy the place that we are at in our lives, but whenever I get stressed or overwhelmed, I try to remember that man’s words. This is definitely something that I would pass on to all new parents.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I knew motherhood was going to change my life and not always be easy, but I think the one thing that’s the most different than what I imagined was how much things would change with my husband and I’s relationship. It’s been really hard trying to find that balance to keep our marriage a priority and still be good parents. We don’t have our family close by and we don’t know a lot of people to use as babysitters, so we don’t get to go out on date nights like other couples. I really just miss the one on one time that we used to have together. The good news is that my brother and sister-law just moved to Las Vegas, so we are thinking about taking them up on their offer to babysit.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Patience

My patience is tested everyday all day. I work with 4 and 5 year olds who have extreme behavior and emotional problems at my job all day. Then when I come home from work, I usually have a tired, hungry toddler on my hands. There is no reasoning with that. I try my best to stay patient with my son, but it can be hard sometimes. I do lose it every so often, but every time I yell or get mad it does nothing to help the situation. It only makes things worse. I try to use the skills I learn at work to help work through our tantrums and toddler moments at home.

Understanding

I try to understand my son. He is strong willed, independent and when he doesn’t want to do something he lets you know. I’m very easy going, so I always say that he gets these traits from his dad. I try to understand his triggers and know how to help him when I can. I’ve had a lot of practice being married to his dad, but at least I know that he’s going to turn into a really great man one day.

Loving

I never want a day to go by that my son doesn’t feel loved. I show him and tell him everyday. I know I’m never going to be the “perfect mom”, with the perfectly clean and decorated house. I buy my baked goods at the grocery store and I will probably never be able to sew a cute Halloween costume for him or throw him the best Pinterest perfect birthday party, but I will whatever I can for my him out of love. At the end of the day all those other things don’t make you the perfect mom, but love will always be the most important thing. That’s what I learned from my own mom.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Most recently, my little guy got sick after our trip home to Michigan. He’s a pretty healthy kid, so it’s rare that he gets sick for very long. He got sick on a Sunday night, so I decided that I would stay home with him that Monday and get him into the doctors. I figured that he would get on antibiotics and be back at school the next day, because that’s usually how it goes if he gets an ear infection. That was not the case this time. His fever didn’t go down and he only got worse. I felt so helpless, because I couldn’t help him. Everything I tried to do to help him feel better, he refused. On top of dealing with him being sick, I had to go into work the rest of the week, because I had used my last PTO day for the year on that Monday. It was a horrible feeling knowing that I couldn’t be with him when he needed me. When I was with him though, I couldn’t make him happy, so that was even more frustrating. All I did all week was cry.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I’ve definitely lost a lot of freedom. It’s harder to meet up with friends for coffee or just going into a store and browsing by myself. I do think that becoming a mother has made me gain a better sense of style. I know that seems weird, because a lot of moms would say the opposite of that, but I promised myself when I got pregnant that I would never lose that part of me that enjoys getting dressed and putting myself together. I feel more confident in how I dress and more comfortable with myself than I have ever felt before.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I just want my son to learn how to be a good person. I want him to learn to be kind to people and care about others. I want him to learn how to be successful and happy in life. I pretty much want him to be a better person than me.

You are a teacher, you blog, you’re married to a pilot and your family isn’t around to help. How do you find any time for yourself?

Good question! I honestly don’t have a lot of “me time”. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been at my house, by myself since I became a mom. The one thing that I do for myself when I have the time is work on my blog. I love having my blog to share my interests and thoughts with others. I started it a while ago with just sharing my daily work outfits and some money saving tips, but it wasn’t until after I became a mom that I really started to enjoy writing it and sharing my journey through motherhood on there as well.

I love being able to connect with people through blogging in similar situations and inspire other women. It’s really been the perfect outlet for me to have as a mom. I have to admit that it’s been getting harder to keep up on writing blog posts as my little guy gets older, but I try to set aside time for it whenever I can. Usually while I’m drinking my coffee in the mornings or during nap time on the weekends. It’s important to me that I keep that one thing for myself for as long as I enjoy doing it.

Mom of Fame – Donna

Donna is another mom who doesn’t know what “me time” is. With 2 under 2.5, a full-time job that includes nights and weekends, and an online business she keeps herself very busy. We were lucky that she took a little time out of her full schedule to answer our questions.

She talks about the importance of daycare centers, letting kids be kids, and how she was scared of motherhood. Please help us welcome her into the Mom of Fame and leave her some love in the comments so that she can realize that she definitely has many strengths!

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Please tell us a little about yourself and your family.

The Mortellaro household is a busy one. With a very hectic farmer/rancher head of the family plus 2 oh-so-loved toddlers aged under 2 and a half, this community hospital laboratory scientist (yours truly) who works more than the usual 40 hours a week (We are talking about calls at night and on the weekends as well!) can barely handle all. Oh how I thank God for daycare centers! I couldn’t even imagine how life would be if they didn’t exist. My online business wouldn’t even be possible without them. Seriously!

On that note, I proudly introduce my website called The Upward Blip. It is an online baby store committed to creating high quality baby bandana bibs of colorful variants. It also offers a blog section where parents, especially mothers, can find hacks about self-care, baby, family lifestyle, and so much more.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I found this adage by Rebecca Eanes on twitter the other day and it just struck me to the core. It says, “So often, children are punished for being human. They are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes. Yet, we adults have them all the time. None of us are perfect. We must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves”. I don’t need to expound that. It is too powerful of a quote for me to even try. Therefore, I will just leave this here and suggest that all mothers bear this in mind. Everything will be better when you put it to heart.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I have always been scared to be a mother. I envisioned (and I still do) motherhood as a herculean task. Mothers are super people in my eyes! So when I knew I was going to become one, I was so nervous. I was even questioning my ability to be one at some point. Then I thought if I wasn’t scared at all, I wouldn’t be half the mother than I am now. Motherhood is a beautiful thing. I will definitely do it again.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I am my own worst critic. That being said, I couldn’t even think of my strong points. All I know is I am constantly striving to better myself for my kids’ sake.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

The struggle is real! There’s no joking around on that one. It may be overwhelming now and again (especially when I was pregnant with my second born as my first born was only 10 months that time), but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

My old self is gone, but I have gained a new one. I am happy and at ease of what I am becoming because of my children.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

Embrace your individuality. You don’t have to fit in. You just need to learn that everyone is different. You may not agree with everything other people believe in, but always respect others. One other thing. Resilience. If you don’t have it, the world will eat you alive!

Five Things That Changed Once I Became a Mother

We all know that changes happen when kids come into the picture. Changes in relationships, changes with how you run your life, changes in your body. Changes.

Since having Ben, and now baby two on the way, I’ve changed in weird ways that I never thought would happen. Some are things I never thought I would do and some are obvious changes to most, but not to me.

What are some of the weird ways you’ve changed since having kids?

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Flying

How do you travel when they are just babies?!

I use to be an OK flier. I mean, I never LOVED it, but I did it. The first flight that I had scheduled after my son was born was to go visit my nephew (brand new) in California. When I bought the ticket I was SO excited. It was going to be a long weekend away visiting family by myself. It was going to be good for me.

Cue the morning of the flight. I popped a couple of Xanax thinking that will calm the mood that I was currently having. My husband bid me farewell and my parents came to watch my son. My dad was taking my bags to the car.

I sat in the middle of my living room and DID NOT MOVE. I couldn’t do it. I could not go on that flight. The only thing my mind could think about was if anything happened to me, Ben would never remember me (crazy, right?).

It was rough having to tell my brother that I just couldn’t do it. That I just could not get myself on the plane, but I did not regret my choice. Having a child does weird things to you, and this was one of them.

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Shopping

Oh, man did I love shopping. I loved going to the mall, to target and even to the grocery store. I took my time.

Now, there is a sense of urgency that comes along with shopping and an ‘almost’ potty trained toddler. Before I could never imagine getting in and out of a grocery store in ten minutes (I was a browser), but now I make it in record time.

There is just something about being at a meat counter waiting to get your food and your toddler running away from you with his transformer toy (thinking he’s HILARIOUS) that makes you want to get in and out.

My favorite things are now Amazon’s two day shipping and Kroger Click List. Two must have for moms!

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A Greater Appreciation for my Mother (and mothers in general)

This goes without saying. You cannot fully appreciate your mother until you have gone

My mother (and father) created this.

through what she’s gone through. Times change, but motherhood really doesn’t. We more or less have the same struggles, challenges and joys that our mothers did.

My mother had three children. I am pregnant with my second and feeling like I’m drowning. Kudos to her.

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Gag Reflex

I remember being told that this would go away once I had kids. I didn’t believe it. I HATED vomit and poop and having to deal with any that.

Let’s be clear, I still do. When you are potty training a child that fear goes out the window. Just the other day, at five months pregnant, I had to clean up pee and poop from my sons floor since he just decided to go (claims it was an accident… sure, kid).

From day one you have to be comfortable with the ‘gross’ stuff. Birthing a child isn’t some gorgeous moment. Is it a beautiful moment? Yes, it is. Is it a clean moment? NOPE.

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My Mom Tribe

The mom tribe kids ❤

Not gonna lie. I thought this was kinda funny when I first heard the term. I most likely mom-shamed those of you that said it. Once I had Ben I quickly realized how quick I was to call/text my friend Cindy who had a baby five months prior.

Three years later and I am still leaning on my mom tribe with questions and, honestly, an ear to vent. I am not sure what I would do without all of them.

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Throwing a Football Themed First Birthday Party

I can still remember talking to Lisa on the phone before Ben’s first birthday. She was super stressed and telling me everything she was doing for the party and all of the money she was spending on it and I said, “you are crazy, he is never going to remember this” (Sorry, Lisa!).

Fast forward 3 years and now I’m the crazy one. I guess I can add spending a lot of time and money on a first birthday to my Things I Said I’d Never Do blog! Since I did spend the time and money to make it the best first birthday I could for Ryan, I figured I’d share some of the ideas with you guys in case you decide to do the same theme.

A little disclaimer…I am not a very crafty person. While I was making the chocolate football molds for the cupcakes (which I thought would be a super easy task) I sent Lisa a text that said, “if I ever say I’m going to do something creative again, please slap me!” So keep in mind that I did most of this myself and I tried my best!

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Theme: Detroit Lions

Since Ryan was born in October and fall is my favorite season I wanted to do something that celebrated that. Football is an obvious fall activity and my husband is a die-hard Lions fan so I figured that would be the perfect theme! I also thought that football decorations would be easy to either make or buy. I started by buying Ryan a personalized Detroit Lion onesie to wear for the party.

 

 

Invitation

I wanted the invitation to look like a ticket to a Lion’s game so I looked at a picture of a ticket and made the invitation using Microsoft Word. I took a picture of Ryan wearing the Lion’s onesie and I luckily had a picture of him in a different Lion’s onesie from when he was a newborn. If you want the template to make your own football ticket invitation, email us and I will send it along!

Decorations

I didn’t really want to go crazy with decorations so I kept it pretty simple. I bought a few football decorations from Party City and made sure all of the supplies were Honolulu Blue. I also printed out all of Ryan’s monthly pictures and arranged them on the wall in chronological order. It was really fun to see how much he grew throughout the year and I kept the football theme by titling it, “Ryan’s Rookie Year”. I also decorated the high chair with Detroit Lion footballs and a ONE banner. Again, I made all of these using Microsoft Word and then laminated them so that they looked a little more professional.

 

 

 

Party Favors

We had several kiddos coming to the party and I wanted to give them something they could actually use as a party favor. So I found football cups at Oriental Trading and used a metallic paint pen to write their names on the back. These were perfect because it gave them something to use as a cup while at the party and they could also take it home and use it again and again.

Food

This was probably the hardest decision to make for the party. I wanted to stay with the football theme but I also didn’t want to break the bank. We eventually decided to cater the party (in hopes of taking a little stress off of us during it), and ordered fried chicken, potatoes, and coleslaw. I also made a football shaped cheese ball, and had veggies and fruit for appetizers. For a little more decoration I used letter boards to make a “Concession” and “Beverage” sign in hopes of it looking like the concession stand at a football stadium.

 

 

 

 

Dessert

I decided to make all of the dessert myself which I definitely wouldn’t suggest. I love baking, but like I said before I am not very crafty. So things that seemed simple (football molds, mini-cupcakes, piping bags) did not end up being so simple. But in the end it turned out semi-cute and people seemed to enjoy them. I made mini-cupcakes (half with chocolate footballs and half with sprinkles), chocolate chip cookies, and a mini-football cake for Ryan (with healthy ingredients–yes, I am apparently that mom).

 

 

 

Overall, the party turned out great and Ryan really seemed to enjoy it. He obviously won’t remember it but we took lots of great pictures for him to look at when he’s older.

I hope some of these ideas help you when planning your football themed birthday party (either with what to do, or what NOT to do!)

If you want any of the templates (invitation, high chair banner, 12 month picture banner) please email me at momfaming@gmail.com and I will send them to you.