Moming through the Pandemic – Katie: Blogger and SAHM of Two

Our next ‘Moming through the Pandemic’ story is from Katie, a stay at home supermom. She was 6 months pregnant with a preschooler at home when everything started shutting down. She was also running a blog (Thrifty Wife Happy Life) in her “spare” time. No matter what the pandemic threw at her, though, she has stayed positive and is rocking this “chapter” of her life!

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Katie–we can all learn from your positivity!

Tell us about yourself and your family.

Hi I’m Katie! I am the mom of two, Jack (5) and Anna (8-months). My husband, Kevin, is an airline pilot and we live in Grand Rapids, MI. I worked as a preschool teacher until almost 2-years ago. We had been living in Las Vegas for over 4 years for my husband’s job, but when his company opened a base in Grand Rapids we felt that it only made sense that we move back to Michigan so we could be closer to our parents. Instead of looking for another preschool teacher job when we moved, we decided that it would be best for our family if I stayed home full time. 

On top of being a stay-at-home-mom, I also have a lifestyle blog called Thrifty Wife Happy Life. I started it years ago as a little side hobby to keep me busy while my husband was on over nights, but it’s become so much more than just a hobby. I share affordable fashion tips and also my journey through motherhood. It’s now become more than just an outlet for me, it’s turned into a little side job. 

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

At first it was a huge adjustment. Even though I was already a stay-at-home-mom, Jack was in preschool at a child care center full day. When we moved back to MI we decided it was best for Jack to keep him in school full time since that was what he was used to. His school closed in mid-March and he didn’t return until July.  That was a big change having him home all day with me and we couldn’t leave the house. He needs a lot of entertainment and he thrives on a schedule so it was a tough adjustment for us at first. 

I was also 6-months pregnant when the pandemic first started getting bad in the U.S. and things were scary for a while. I was so worried that my husband wouldn’t be with me in the delivery room or that I would test positive for Covid andmy baby might be taken from me while I had to quarantine. Luckily everything worked out and Anna’s birth went really smoothly. 

After Anna was born in June things seemed to be almost back to normal for a while. We did a lot of outdoor meet ups with family and went to the park, but then as the weather cooled off and Covid cases started to go back up things started to feel isolating again. 

The biggest change for us is just having no plans at all. We use to go out to eat every weekend or take Jack to the museum or a play place on the weekends. Now we just stay home every week. It seemed like we had a visitor at our house every other weekend, but now that’s rare and if people do come see us we are usually meeting them in the driveway with masks on. It’s just not the same. 

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

The one-on-one quality time we have been able to spend as a family is the best thing to come out of all of this. I spent almost 4 months day in and day out with my son and I realized that I had never done that before. Before that the longest amount of time we have had together was during my 7 week maternity leave. It’s been fun watching him grow and turn into a big brother.

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What is the hardest part about it?

The hardest part is not seeing our friends and family very much. Having a new baby and not being able to share her with others is tough. We moved to Michigan so our kids would grow up closer to their grandparents and here we are not being able to see them that often. I had envisioned never having to miss a holiday with family and being able to celebrate our kids birthdays with friends and family now that we live back in Michigan. Instead we have been home just the 4 of us for every holiday and birthday celebration. 

What have you learned about yourself during this time?

I’ve gained confidence as a mother during this time. I’ve always questioned my decisions as a mom and I suffer from mom guilt a lot, but this pandemic has changed that. Especially after having Anna. I feel like after all I’ve been through having 2 kids is nothing. I was so worried about adding another baby to our family during a pandemic. I was worried that I’d struggle without any help. I was worried that I would have postpartum depression and I’d be alone, but that hasn’t been the case. I felt really good after Anna was born. She completely turned my year around. Having her at this time has been my greatest blessing. She’s taught me a lot about myself. They both have. 

What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

My kids are so unphased by this whole thing. Obviously Anna doesn’t know anything else, but Jack has been so understanding of everything. You would think he would have been upset that we couldn’t go to the mall and play in the play area anymore. Or that  we can’t go stay at his grandparents house, but he’s been so positive about it all. He calls it the germs and he tells me all the time what his plans will be when the germs are gone. He doesn’t even mind that he has to wear a mask all day at school.

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Um everything! Lol! I’m really excited to be able to see our family again. Our parents live 2 hours away, but because we haven’t been able to stay over nights our visits with everyone have been very short. My sister-in-law who lives in California is dying to meet Anna so I’m hoping we can see them soon! I’m also hoping we can go on vacation soon! I miss traveling. 

Kevin and I are also dying for a date night out with just the 2 of us. We haven’t done that since before Anna was born. We’d love to go on a trip together to celebrate our 10th anniversary this summer, but we will see how things are at that point. I don’t think I’m ready to leave Anna too long yet. We’d be grateful for an hour without the kids 😂

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

Online grocery shopping!! I never used the online grocery store ordering apps before. I didn’t trust having other people pick out my produce. But after going to the grocery store during a pandemic with all the craziness, plus being 9-months pregnant at the time,  I decided to try it. Now I will always do my grocery shopping online. At least my big weekly grocery orders. It saves me so much time and I will definitely never bring both kids to the store with me again unless I’m really bored and just want a challenge. 😂😂

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Anything else you want to add?

I will just say that I think the best way to get through this time is to stay positive. Sometimes it’s hard, but I try my best to focus on the positive things in life. I think it’s important to focus on the things you can control in life, not what you can’t. This is only a chapter in our book, not the whole story!

Moming through the Pandemic – Stefanie: Freelance writer/mom of two

So being a mom during the pandemic is hard. Stay at home or working full time – it’s all hard. We are grateful to Stefanie, mom of two, taking time out of the insanity we are in to participate in ‘Moming through the Pandemic’. Her case is different as she has the added pressure of her husband being in a highly essential working environment. She has had to step up and help her daughters with virtual learning. Being both mother and teacher.

Thank you, Stefanie, for sharing your story!

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Tell us about yourself and your family.

I am a 35-year-old pop culture and polka dot enthusiast living in Okemos, Michigan. My husband Zack and I met at MSU. We have been married for 11 years, together for 16, and we have two daughters: Stella, almost 8, and Margot, 4. We also have two dogs, our almost 12-year-old rescue Zuzu and 1-year-old aussiedoodle, Fozzie. Zack is a Deputy Chief of Staff for Governor Whitmer, overseeing communications, and pre-pandemic I was freelance writing for my former office at MSU and other local publications.

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

Much like anyone else, everything changed for us. I still remember the night of the Michigan primary, when Zack got word of the first confirmed COVID cases in the state. He had to pack up and drive to the state’s emergency operations center that very night to prep and assist with a press conference. Those early weeks of uncertainty were truly insane. Zack was working every single day for hours on end. With the pandemic and the nature of Zack’s job, my main focuses have been to help my girls with virtual learning, keep us fed and sane, and coming up with quarantine activities. Writing has definitely taken a backseat, but I’m thankful that I have been able to keep things afloat at home.

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

The “anything goes” mentality of quarantine life has really opened me up to trying so many new things, from recipes to crafts. We made bagels and soft pretzels. I got very into dalgona coffee, especially on summer afternoons. In very early quarantine, there was a lot of painting, and I started to make portraits of loved ones’ dogs. I tried rose gold Overtone on my hair, and just this past week let Stella try it, too. We tie-dyed so many shirts. We started a movie night tradition with Stella on Friday nights, giving us all something to look forward to at the end of the week. Even though we didn’t go trick or treating, I had a blast making Margot’s Branch the troll costume. In the late fall, I learned how to cross stitch and now enjoy making all sorts of projects. While I miss having a fuller calendar, there’s been something sort of freeing about not having the usual obligations each day. 

What is the hardest part about it?

Not being able to spend quality time with friends and family, of course. Summer felt like a bit of a reprieve from isolation with the cases lower and more opportunities to spend time outside. I have also missed having that precious *me* time that I used to have when both girls were at school, and date nights with my husband. Heck, even just the ease of being able to ask grandparents to babysit. I joke that there’s been a lot of togetherness this past year, but the outlets right now are few and far between. Also, some of the things I most look forward to are concerts and theatrical productions; not having the arts during this time is really tough. 

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What have you learned about yourself during this time?

 I learned to acknowledge and appreciate my value as a mom and partner during this time. When I left my job at MSU after having our second daughter, I had a difficult time embracing the idea that I was “just a mom,” even though that’s exactly what I wanted. When people asked what I did for a living, I’d often lead with the fact that I used to work for MSU and now I’m home with my girls. I worried about others’ expectations, especially when I know so many incredible moms who work full time. But during this pandemic, I know that I’ve been the glue at home. I’m sure I’ve always been, but it’s really been brought to light. Whether it’s getting up at 6am to go grocery shopping when it’s quieter at the store, coming up with art projects and ways to pass the time, learning how to groom our dogs during the first shutdown, or bringing my husband some lunch so he remembers to eat, my job is to keep us all going. I’ll often remark that I’m holding down the fort at home when people ask how I’m doing. I am learning that is enough.

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What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

How many snacks they can physically consume in a given day, haha. And also just how much they can’t live with or without each other. For so much of Margot’s life, her big sister was at school all day. This past year has been more togetherness than they’ve ever had. To now be at the ages where they can play together and have the same interests, there are some blissful moments where they run off and play nicely without constant supervision. Talk about a much-needed reprieve! But for the most part, the reality is there has had to be a lot of parental intervention and separation. 

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Travel! Eating at restaurants! Concerts! Spending time with friends and family over wine and good food! My husband surprised me at Christmas with a trip to Hawaii set for late summer. We’re obviously hopeful that things will be looking much better by then, even if not completely normal. The notion of that quality time together, exploring a new place and relaxing, is honestly carrying me through these tough winter months in Michigan.

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

 In addition to some of the new crafting activities I’ve learned, one thing that came out of quarantine was coming up with creative ways of meaningful connection with friends and family even at a distance. Whether it was swinging by someone’s house with beef stew leftovers, bringing a friend a chai tea, or carving out time for a Zoom and cocktails call, these small moments really brightened my days. I still love talking on the phone, so having long phone calls or FaceTime conversations kept me feeling connected to others. I hope that continues even as we start to return to regular schedules.

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Anything else you want to add?

As moms, we’re often told that we need to give ourselves and others grace, that being a mom is such a hard job. Still, I think we can’t help but look at what we’re doing, or what others are doing, with a critical eye. Then we were hit with the pandemic, and it felt like those early newborn days: overwhelming and exhausting, just trying to survive one day at a time. I think the pandemic helped us take a look around and mutually agree that we’re all just trying to do our best. Screen time and snack rules? Out the window. Wearing the same comfy pants three days in a row? Fantastic! Despite all of the restrictions we’ve faced over the last year, in some strange way the lowered expectations on us has been freeing. We’ve been able to realize what – and WHO – is really important. When things begin to return to our new normal, I think we’ll have an easier time getting rid of the things that do not serve us. Like wearing jeans at home.

Moming through the Pandemic – Erin: Stay-at-home mom of two

Well Momfaming friends, it’s been a while. In order to catch you up on my life let’s rewind to February of last year…

• I went out to dinner to celebrate my 35th birthday with my 3 best friends…little did I know this would be the last time I would step foot in a restaurant
• I took Ryan to his Physical Therapy appointment…not realizing it would be his last in-person therapy
• We went to our local Gigi’s Playhouse for Ryan to play with some friends…having no idea that it would be his last chance to see other kiddos
• Oh yeah…and I found out that I was pregnant with my second child.

To say this past year has been difficult is a gross understatement. Moming through a pandemic is something I never imagined I’d have to do and it is anything but easy. Since I know a lot of others are in the same boat, I decided I should share some of my experiences and hope others can relate (or commiserate?!)

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Tell us about yourself and your family.

I am Erin, the other half of the Momfaming Duo. I have a spirited 3 year old who is rocking an extra chromosome (Ryan) and now I also have a 3 month old “pandemic baby” (Lincoln). I found out I was pregnant with Lincoln a few weeks before all of the craziness began. I remember when I was finally telling people I was pregnant everyone’s response was “at least all of this will be over by the time you deliver”; boy were they wrong! Every single one of my prenatal appointments as well as my delivery were during the pandemic. I wouldn’t suggest being pregnant during a pandemic, but I’m glad I was because now I have another amazing boy to add to our clan.

I am also a “retired” teacher turned stay at home mom and I never once questioned that decision until the pandemic hit. Being a stay at home mom during a time like this is a whole different ballgame!

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

Well, we basically don’t leave the house. All of Ryan’s therapies have turned virtual and we have stopped doing any activities with the kids outside of the house (besides for playing in our yard and walks around the sub). The only person outside of our house that we see is my mom so we occasionally go to her house too. When the weather was nice we saw a few friends outside a handful of times and I am hoping to be able to do that again come spring.

Not leaving the house has definitely changed my stay at home mom parenting style. We used to make sure we had something fun to do outside of the house at least a few days a week to keep us sane (even if it was just running to the grocery store). We also tried to get together with friends for play dates as much as possible. Without being able to do those things we have had to come up with different ways to stay occupied. In the summer we bought an inflatable pool, swing, and slide to have in our yard so that Ryan would have things to do. Now that it’s too cold to go outside for long periods of time we have had to become more creative; like dance parties, baking, and an indoor basketball hoop! It hasn’t been easy, but we are making it work (barely)!

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What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

My husband has been able to spend more time with the kiddos. As a stay at home mom I was already present for all of the milestones and funny stories throughout the day; now he is able to join in with that too. He is working from home most of the week so he is able to come down and play with the kids while he’s taking a break as well as eat lunch with us.

It’s been so nice to see his and Ryan’s relationship flourish because of this. Ryan used to only come to me for things, and now he’ll go to his dad too. Sometimes he’ll even take something away from me to bring to his dad because he’d rather play it with him. Although that stings a little, it’s also very nice to see (and even gives me a break every once in a while)!

What is the hardest part about it?

There are so many things that have been hard about quarantine; not seeing friends, not getting any alone time, not getting to see Ryan with kiddos his age, not being able to introduce Lincoln to anyone, and not being able to just throw the kids in the car to run some errands. Without a doubt the hardest part for me, though, is having to decide between Ryan’s health and his development.

Like I said before, Ryan has Down syndrome so he used to have PT once a week through the school district and had also just started private PT and Speech through our local hospital. I was also going with him to a class once a week where he was socializing with peers as well as learning the classroom routine. Once everything shut down, that included all of his therapies. He would continue virtual PT and OT and in the fall we began virtual preschool.

Trying to get a 3 year old (especially one with Down syndrome) to sit at the computer for PT, OT and/or preschool has been quite the challenge. It is a constant battle and I know that he is not getting anywhere near as much out of it as he would be if he were attending in person. He has made some great progress during quarantine (he started walking) but I also know that things are moving slower than they would be if he could be face to face.

On the other hand, Down syndrome is considered a high risk group when it comes to the coronavirus. Because kids with DS are immunocompromised and have low muscle tone they usually have serious side effects if they get any respiratory illness. We have been very lucky with Ryan and haven’t encountered these issue at all but we do not want to risk it. Ultimately we decided to keep him at home because we know that is where he is safest, but I still feel guilt every day that he is not getting the support he needs to develop his skills.

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What have you learned about yourself during this time?

That I can do anything life throws at me and no matter what I can put on a brave face for those around me. Living through a pandemic while pregnant and then with a newborn and toddler is TOUGH and although I have been super frustrated and even sad some days my kids would never know it. I have always prided myself on the fact that I have a lot of patience, and boy was that tested this year. Did I have as much as I thought I did? Probably not. But no matter what was going on in the outside world (or even my head) my kids lived as normal of a life as possible through all of this.

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What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

Well Lincoln has only known this way of life (poor kid) but it really surprised me how much Ryan apparently thrived on socializing with other people. Since I am a stay at home mom he has never been in daycare so I would never have labeled him as a social kid. But now that he does not see anyone besides mom and dad (and occasionally grandma) I can tell it’s affecting him.

We were lucky enough to see my brother, sister in law and niece and nephew over Christmas and he was a completely different child. He loved playing with his cousins as well as being around different adults. It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders and his frustrations seemed to go away. This makes me even more excited to be able to get together with friends again!

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Getting a break from being a mom! I can’t wait to just go out with my friends (without the kiddos) and talk about normal things (in between complaining about our kids and our husbands) while sipping some wine and eating some good food. I never realized how much these nights away gave me the restart I needed to continue to be the best mom and wife I can be.

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

Asking for help. Even without a pandemic I can’t do it all, nor should I have to. As a stay at home mom I feel like there is a lot of pressure to do everything yourself instead of asking your spouse to help because they have been working all day. Well now that we have two and are living through such a stressful time, I have realized I just can’t do it all myself. Some days I need my husband to take one of the kids while I deal with the other one, and other days I need him to take both while I collect myself. And that is okay. Pandemic or not; stay at home mom or not; I need help and I am now not afraid to ask for it!

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Anything else you want to add?

I just want to make it clear that I know that in the grand scheme of things we are extremely lucky. We have not lost anyone close to us to this horrible virus nor have we gotten sick ourselves; we have a safe house to quarantine in with everything we need to keep us comfortable; we have not lost much income due to things shutting down; we are able to buy enough groceries to stay healthy; and we have each other and two pretty amazing kiddos to keep us company while we are stuck at home. So although this was one of the hardest years of my life, I know that others have had it MUCH worse and my heart goes out to them every day.