Moming through the Pandemic – Katie: Blogger and SAHM of Two

Our next ‘Moming through the Pandemic’ story is from Katie, a stay at home supermom. She was 6 months pregnant with a preschooler at home when everything started shutting down. She was also running a blog (Thrifty Wife Happy Life) in her “spare” time. No matter what the pandemic threw at her, though, she has stayed positive and is rocking this “chapter” of her life!

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Katie–we can all learn from your positivity!

Tell us about yourself and your family.

Hi I’m Katie! I am the mom of two, Jack (5) and Anna (8-months). My husband, Kevin, is an airline pilot and we live in Grand Rapids, MI. I worked as a preschool teacher until almost 2-years ago. We had been living in Las Vegas for over 4 years for my husband’s job, but when his company opened a base in Grand Rapids we felt that it only made sense that we move back to Michigan so we could be closer to our parents. Instead of looking for another preschool teacher job when we moved, we decided that it would be best for our family if I stayed home full time. 

On top of being a stay-at-home-mom, I also have a lifestyle blog called Thrifty Wife Happy Life. I started it years ago as a little side hobby to keep me busy while my husband was on over nights, but it’s become so much more than just a hobby. I share affordable fashion tips and also my journey through motherhood. It’s now become more than just an outlet for me, it’s turned into a little side job. 

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

At first it was a huge adjustment. Even though I was already a stay-at-home-mom, Jack was in preschool at a child care center full day. When we moved back to MI we decided it was best for Jack to keep him in school full time since that was what he was used to. His school closed in mid-March and he didn’t return until July.  That was a big change having him home all day with me and we couldn’t leave the house. He needs a lot of entertainment and he thrives on a schedule so it was a tough adjustment for us at first. 

I was also 6-months pregnant when the pandemic first started getting bad in the U.S. and things were scary for a while. I was so worried that my husband wouldn’t be with me in the delivery room or that I would test positive for Covid andmy baby might be taken from me while I had to quarantine. Luckily everything worked out and Anna’s birth went really smoothly. 

After Anna was born in June things seemed to be almost back to normal for a while. We did a lot of outdoor meet ups with family and went to the park, but then as the weather cooled off and Covid cases started to go back up things started to feel isolating again. 

The biggest change for us is just having no plans at all. We use to go out to eat every weekend or take Jack to the museum or a play place on the weekends. Now we just stay home every week. It seemed like we had a visitor at our house every other weekend, but now that’s rare and if people do come see us we are usually meeting them in the driveway with masks on. It’s just not the same. 

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

The one-on-one quality time we have been able to spend as a family is the best thing to come out of all of this. I spent almost 4 months day in and day out with my son and I realized that I had never done that before. Before that the longest amount of time we have had together was during my 7 week maternity leave. It’s been fun watching him grow and turn into a big brother.

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What is the hardest part about it?

The hardest part is not seeing our friends and family very much. Having a new baby and not being able to share her with others is tough. We moved to Michigan so our kids would grow up closer to their grandparents and here we are not being able to see them that often. I had envisioned never having to miss a holiday with family and being able to celebrate our kids birthdays with friends and family now that we live back in Michigan. Instead we have been home just the 4 of us for every holiday and birthday celebration. 

What have you learned about yourself during this time?

I’ve gained confidence as a mother during this time. I’ve always questioned my decisions as a mom and I suffer from mom guilt a lot, but this pandemic has changed that. Especially after having Anna. I feel like after all I’ve been through having 2 kids is nothing. I was so worried about adding another baby to our family during a pandemic. I was worried that I’d struggle without any help. I was worried that I would have postpartum depression and I’d be alone, but that hasn’t been the case. I felt really good after Anna was born. She completely turned my year around. Having her at this time has been my greatest blessing. She’s taught me a lot about myself. They both have. 

What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

My kids are so unphased by this whole thing. Obviously Anna doesn’t know anything else, but Jack has been so understanding of everything. You would think he would have been upset that we couldn’t go to the mall and play in the play area anymore. Or that  we can’t go stay at his grandparents house, but he’s been so positive about it all. He calls it the germs and he tells me all the time what his plans will be when the germs are gone. He doesn’t even mind that he has to wear a mask all day at school.

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Um everything! Lol! I’m really excited to be able to see our family again. Our parents live 2 hours away, but because we haven’t been able to stay over nights our visits with everyone have been very short. My sister-in-law who lives in California is dying to meet Anna so I’m hoping we can see them soon! I’m also hoping we can go on vacation soon! I miss traveling. 

Kevin and I are also dying for a date night out with just the 2 of us. We haven’t done that since before Anna was born. We’d love to go on a trip together to celebrate our 10th anniversary this summer, but we will see how things are at that point. I don’t think I’m ready to leave Anna too long yet. We’d be grateful for an hour without the kids 😂

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

Online grocery shopping!! I never used the online grocery store ordering apps before. I didn’t trust having other people pick out my produce. But after going to the grocery store during a pandemic with all the craziness, plus being 9-months pregnant at the time,  I decided to try it. Now I will always do my grocery shopping online. At least my big weekly grocery orders. It saves me so much time and I will definitely never bring both kids to the store with me again unless I’m really bored and just want a challenge. 😂😂

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Anything else you want to add?

I will just say that I think the best way to get through this time is to stay positive. Sometimes it’s hard, but I try my best to focus on the positive things in life. I think it’s important to focus on the things you can control in life, not what you can’t. This is only a chapter in our book, not the whole story!

Mom of Fame – Naomi

Naomi is the epitome of a fun mom. She has two toddler aged boys and she’s always taking them somewhere or doing something exciting to keep them entertained. Because of this she decided to start a blog to give other moms ideas of things to do with their own kiddos. We were so excited that Naomi agreed to share some of her expertise with us, all the way from Canada!

She talks about why she loves being a stay at home mom, why moms just need to accept help and how she keeps her boys healthy. Please help us welcome her into the Mom of Fame and be sure to check out her blog at the link below!

Please tell us a little about yourself and your family.

We are a family of four living in Ottawa; Canada’s capital city. My husband John, myself (Naomi), and our toddler boys, Jax aged 4 and Hudson aged 2. We certainly have our hands full with our boys who are so full of energy, they keep us busy all day long! I was a working mom, now turned stay at home mom, and I absolutely love it. I never thought I would be but I’m feeling so fortunate that I’m able to stay at home. My eldest, Jax, will start school this September and I can’t believe how fast time is flying by. I’m happy I got to spend all this time with him before he goes to school. Jax is a January baby so he will be one of the older kids in school and starts later which gives us more time together. Hudson too, being a February baby.

I started my blog http://www.naomibianca613.com in the summer of 2018. Since I had Jax in 2015, a friend of mine kept encouraging me to start a blog. I always shrugged it off, until more people started suggesting it since I was always out doing fun activities. Everyone said I might as well write about it and finally I thought, hey why not! I am truly enjoying it and have loved connecting with other mom bloggers all over North America.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it?

Accept the help! People will naturally want to help, so take the frozen lasagna and accept the babysitting for a nap. Have your friend over who also went through a breastfeeding nightmare in the beginning. I listened a wee bit but I’m guilty of not accepting help. My neighbour and friend were wonderful in helping me with my breastfeeding challenges and I was able to breastfeed both children for the first year.  

Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

Absolutely, 110%. That’s what friends and family are for.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Honestly I don’t think I ever had any foresight into motherhood. I knew it would be harder than my childless life and it certainly is. You’re trying to keep your precious ones alive and thriving.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Firstly I like to think I’m a fun mom. We are always somewhere on the daily. Whether it be a play center, a museum, a pumpkin patch, an apple orchard, winter festival…you get the picture! I love being out and about, and they are always having so much fun so it makes me feel good to know they are getting the most out of life (even at an early age).

Keeping my kids healthy and active. I try my best to introduce them to new healthy foods and recipes regardless of resistance from one or both. We keep active with soccer, swimming, gymnastics and more. They have even started to exercise with me.

Last but not least I’m nurturing in general and to their personalities. I let them try different things to see what they’re excelling at and provide accordingly.

Describe a time you were completely overwhelmed as a mother?

Probably the early days of bringing a newborn home with a 2-year-old around. Trying to breastfeed with a toddler was chaos. Luckily, like anything else in life, we eventually found our groove.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since  becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I’ve gained everything and can’t imagine my life without my kids. What I have lost, is the ability to just leave and do whatever I want at any moment of time. The ability to just go to the mall and shop for three hours. It’s just not that easy with kids in tow. It’s amazing how errands without children feel now! It’s such a luxury and I’ve lost free time essentially, but doesn’t everyone when they have kids? At nap time it’s a decision between laundry, or forget it and just relax. One thing I know is that I will miss not having that free time when they are older and don’t want their mom during teenage years, or when then go to college or university should they choose that path.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

Empathy, respect and compassion. I pride myself on these qualities and as a mom, bullying worries me so much. All you can do is teach your kids life lessons and hope that they take it all in. You never know your child might be the bully and you must work with it. Kids can be cruel and it’s a scary world unfortunately.

I also want them to continue to learn safety rules because I truly believe you can never be too safe in this world. There are terrible people in our world and we have to try to keep our kids prepared and as safe as possible.

Mom of Fame – Jessica

Being a new mom is hard. Being a new mom while your husband is a firefighter is even harder. Being a new mom looks good on Jessica, though. She is a stay at home mom who started a blog to help her express herself as she navigates through this new motherhood role.

She talks about how motherhood is better than she expected it to be, how dairy is her enemy, and how being a mom has helped to bring back her sense of wonder. Please help us welcome Jessica into our Mom of Fame. Leave her some love in the comments and be sure to check out her blog using the link below.

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Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

My name is Jessica, and I am a wife to a firefighter and a stay at home momma to a sweet little 5 month old ladybug. As I am figuring out this whole mommyhood thang, I realized that I needed to have a creative outlet, and finally follow my passions of writing (end goal is to publish a few kiddo books). It just fit that I start a blog to share my own adventures anddd it just so happens that everyday is an adventure in mommyhood land:) You can read more at Adventuring to Neverland.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

The best piece of advice I was given was to sleep when the baby slept, eat when the baby ate, and groom while the baby was being groomed by daddy. I may or may not have only napped two times in the first month of our little’s life, but I definitely did take advantage of the eating and the grooming part. I know its difficult because lots of spouses do not have lots of time off to help, so I was very thankful with the way my hubby’s schedule played out.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Gosh, I think it’s better. You hear some people talk about how hard motherhood is and how they never had any time for themselves, which can be true, but I have a hard time not appreciating the little bit of perfection I get to snuggle up with on the daily. Seeing that little bug smile in the mornings melts away any struggles that may have come up the day before.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Patience [which is surprising since I’m normally not very patient], awareness, and silliness

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Our baby had a bout with gas at 3 weeks, and that was one of the hardest times I’ve gone through thus far. She was sleeping pretty well through the night, and all of a sudden, she would wake up and scream the most ear piercing scream. We were clueless as to what was happening until we exhausted all of the things it could be, and we started wiggling her legs, and then we heard a toot, and she was immediately relieved. It was then on I realized dairy was my enemy with little bug.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I don’t think I’ve lost any parts of myself since becoming a momma. I mean, I guess I may have lost the ability to look put together at all times because we definitely venture out to the grocery store looking like hoodlums sometimes, but as long as our little looks good, I think we’re excused from that 😉

I think I have gained my sense of wonder again. I think I lost it for a hot sec in my 20’s, but with our sweet baby, my mind is always wondering things now.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I’d like my kiddos to gain lightheartedness from me. I try not to let things get to me too much, and I kind of act like a kid, all the time, which helps me get through this crazy life. I’d also like my little to be kind and brave!

Mom of Fame – Katie H.

Looking at Katie one would think that she has it all together. Adorable family, fun job and awesome clothes. She will be the first to tell you that this isn’t true. Everything takes work and she works hard for her family and herself.

Having a husband who is a pilot, working, taking care of a toddler and doing it all without a lot of family around is rough. Katie takes it and knocks it out of the park. She even has a blog and Instagram following for affordable fashion.

Thank you, Katie, for answering our questions honestly and for being so deserving of the title ‘mom of fame’!

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What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I can’t think of any specific advice that I’ve gotten, but I do remember one thing that someone said once that stuck with me. We were on a flight home from Denver when my son was just a little over a year old. My husband and I were both stressed and trying to get Jack settled into our seats when one of the flight attendants came up to us and started talking. He was telling us how he remembered having kids that age and how now he’s a grandpa. Then he said to us “Just remember, the days are long, but the years are short.” I had never heard that before, but it made so much sense. Each year seems to fly by, but each day drags on. I try to keep this in mind always, because I am so often thinking about the future or reminiscing on the past that I forget about what’s in front of me right now. I try my best to live in the moment and enjoy the place that we are at in our lives, but whenever I get stressed or overwhelmed, I try to remember that man’s words. This is definitely something that I would pass on to all new parents.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I knew motherhood was going to change my life and not always be easy, but I think the one thing that’s the most different than what I imagined was how much things would change with my husband and I’s relationship. It’s been really hard trying to find that balance to keep our marriage a priority and still be good parents. We don’t have our family close by and we don’t know a lot of people to use as babysitters, so we don’t get to go out on date nights like other couples. I really just miss the one on one time that we used to have together. The good news is that my brother and sister-law just moved to Las Vegas, so we are thinking about taking them up on their offer to babysit.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Patience

My patience is tested everyday all day. I work with 4 and 5 year olds who have extreme behavior and emotional problems at my job all day. Then when I come home from work, I usually have a tired, hungry toddler on my hands. There is no reasoning with that. I try my best to stay patient with my son, but it can be hard sometimes. I do lose it every so often, but every time I yell or get mad it does nothing to help the situation. It only makes things worse. I try to use the skills I learn at work to help work through our tantrums and toddler moments at home.

Understanding

I try to understand my son. He is strong willed, independent and when he doesn’t want to do something he lets you know. I’m very easy going, so I always say that he gets these traits from his dad. I try to understand his triggers and know how to help him when I can. I’ve had a lot of practice being married to his dad, but at least I know that he’s going to turn into a really great man one day.

Loving

I never want a day to go by that my son doesn’t feel loved. I show him and tell him everyday. I know I’m never going to be the “perfect mom”, with the perfectly clean and decorated house. I buy my baked goods at the grocery store and I will probably never be able to sew a cute Halloween costume for him or throw him the best Pinterest perfect birthday party, but I will whatever I can for my him out of love. At the end of the day all those other things don’t make you the perfect mom, but love will always be the most important thing. That’s what I learned from my own mom.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Most recently, my little guy got sick after our trip home to Michigan. He’s a pretty healthy kid, so it’s rare that he gets sick for very long. He got sick on a Sunday night, so I decided that I would stay home with him that Monday and get him into the doctors. I figured that he would get on antibiotics and be back at school the next day, because that’s usually how it goes if he gets an ear infection. That was not the case this time. His fever didn’t go down and he only got worse. I felt so helpless, because I couldn’t help him. Everything I tried to do to help him feel better, he refused. On top of dealing with him being sick, I had to go into work the rest of the week, because I had used my last PTO day for the year on that Monday. It was a horrible feeling knowing that I couldn’t be with him when he needed me. When I was with him though, I couldn’t make him happy, so that was even more frustrating. All I did all week was cry.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I’ve definitely lost a lot of freedom. It’s harder to meet up with friends for coffee or just going into a store and browsing by myself. I do think that becoming a mother has made me gain a better sense of style. I know that seems weird, because a lot of moms would say the opposite of that, but I promised myself when I got pregnant that I would never lose that part of me that enjoys getting dressed and putting myself together. I feel more confident in how I dress and more comfortable with myself than I have ever felt before.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I just want my son to learn how to be a good person. I want him to learn to be kind to people and care about others. I want him to learn how to be successful and happy in life. I pretty much want him to be a better person than me.

You are a teacher, you blog, you’re married to a pilot and your family isn’t around to help. How do you find any time for yourself?

Good question! I honestly don’t have a lot of “me time”. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been at my house, by myself since I became a mom. The one thing that I do for myself when I have the time is work on my blog. I love having my blog to share my interests and thoughts with others. I started it a while ago with just sharing my daily work outfits and some money saving tips, but it wasn’t until after I became a mom that I really started to enjoy writing it and sharing my journey through motherhood on there as well.

I love being able to connect with people through blogging in similar situations and inspire other women. It’s really been the perfect outlet for me to have as a mom. I have to admit that it’s been getting harder to keep up on writing blog posts as my little guy gets older, but I try to set aside time for it whenever I can. Usually while I’m drinking my coffee in the mornings or during nap time on the weekends. It’s important to me that I keep that one thing for myself for as long as I enjoy doing it.

Mom of Fame – Donna

Donna is another mom who doesn’t know what “me time” is. With 2 under 2.5, a full-time job that includes nights and weekends, and an online business she keeps herself very busy. We were lucky that she took a little time out of her full schedule to answer our questions.

She talks about the importance of daycare centers, letting kids be kids, and how she was scared of motherhood. Please help us welcome her into the Mom of Fame and leave her some love in the comments so that she can realize that she definitely has many strengths!

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Please tell us a little about yourself and your family.

The Mortellaro household is a busy one. With a very hectic farmer/rancher head of the family plus 2 oh-so-loved toddlers aged under 2 and a half, this community hospital laboratory scientist (yours truly) who works more than the usual 40 hours a week (We are talking about calls at night and on the weekends as well!) can barely handle all. Oh how I thank God for daycare centers! I couldn’t even imagine how life would be if they didn’t exist. My online business wouldn’t even be possible without them. Seriously!

On that note, I proudly introduce my website called The Upward Blip. It is an online baby store committed to creating high quality baby bandana bibs of colorful variants. It also offers a blog section where parents, especially mothers, can find hacks about self-care, baby, family lifestyle, and so much more.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I found this adage by Rebecca Eanes on twitter the other day and it just struck me to the core. It says, “So often, children are punished for being human. They are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes. Yet, we adults have them all the time. None of us are perfect. We must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves”. I don’t need to expound that. It is too powerful of a quote for me to even try. Therefore, I will just leave this here and suggest that all mothers bear this in mind. Everything will be better when you put it to heart.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I have always been scared to be a mother. I envisioned (and I still do) motherhood as a herculean task. Mothers are super people in my eyes! So when I knew I was going to become one, I was so nervous. I was even questioning my ability to be one at some point. Then I thought if I wasn’t scared at all, I wouldn’t be half the mother than I am now. Motherhood is a beautiful thing. I will definitely do it again.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I am my own worst critic. That being said, I couldn’t even think of my strong points. All I know is I am constantly striving to better myself for my kids’ sake.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

The struggle is real! There’s no joking around on that one. It may be overwhelming now and again (especially when I was pregnant with my second born as my first born was only 10 months that time), but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

My old self is gone, but I have gained a new one. I am happy and at ease of what I am becoming because of my children.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

Embrace your individuality. You don’t have to fit in. You just need to learn that everyone is different. You may not agree with everything other people believe in, but always respect others. One other thing. Resilience. If you don’t have it, the world will eat you alive!

Mom of Fame – Bianca

When we first started this blog we were so excited to interview all different types of moms. Due to logistics, though, we thought that we would only have the opportunity to interview other moms in our area. We have been lucky enough to branch out from that and hear from moms all over the country. This interview exceeded even that, and comes to us all the way from Australia!

Bianca is a mom of two who works part time and runs her own blog, B. Darker. We loved reading her answers because even though she lives on a different continent her answers sounded so familiar. It really made us realize how alike moms are even when we live in completely different worlds!

Please help us welcome Bianca into our (international) Mom of Fame! Also be sure to check out her blog at the link above!

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Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

My name is Bianca I’m 28 years old from Australia and I’m married with two beautiful babes, my little miss is 4 and my little mr is 15 months. I have my hands full working 3 days a week and juggling being a wife and mum. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I was given so much advice before I became a mother, and my one piece of advice I took was “savour every moment because the days are long but the years are short” and that’s so true and I would share that with any new mum to be.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Motherhood is extremely different from what I imagined it would be. It’s one hell of a roller coaster that’s for sure.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

My three strengths would be
Patience
Love
And boundaries.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I was completely overwhelmed as a mother when my daughter got extremely sick with a tummy bug and was hospitalised for dehydration, I felt so overwhelmed and guilty- oh that mum guilt it’s a bad one. And to add to that I just found out I was pregnant the day before.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I think we all feel we lose ourselves a little when we become mothers but I think we gain so much more when we see our babies grow and smile and laugh it gives me so much strength anyway.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I would love my children to learn that everyone should be treated the way you would like to be treated.

Mom of Fame – Teri

Teri is another amazing mom with a lot on her plate. She has three little girls-one with special needs, a full time job, a blog, and a husband. That’s more than enough to keep her beyond busy but she somehow found some time to answer our questions for us. All of her answers are thoughtful, raw, and very relatable. She talks about having to put her perfectionist personality aside, raising three independent girls, and making sure her youngest gets everything she needs to strive.

Please help us welcome her into our Mom of Fame, she is such a deserving addition. Also, check out her blog, My Cuteish Life, if you are looking for a fun blog that talks about motherhood, organization, and home decorating.

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Please tell us a little about yourself and your family.

Cute-ish is not even a “real” word, but if there was ever a way to describe my life, this would be it! I’ve probably said it 100 times. To me…it is when you’re trying or putting in the effort but the end result is well…so so, okay, better than average maybe but definitely not quite as good as planned! This in a nutshell is my outcome 90% of the time and you know what?!? I’m okay with it! I’ll take it. Who has time for perfection?!? Was character ever built through perfection? Well, yes it probably has been but we’ll go with no to make me feel better.

My name is Teri Morton and I am a thirty something woman who is responsible for keeping three tiny humans and one tall, skinny (and quite handsome I might add) husband alive and fed. I AM NOT A WRITER! LET ME REPEAT…not a writer. I write like I talk which isn’t perfect and isn’t always even logical but I beg you to bare with me! I work full time as a public accountant. Yes, I’m one of those crazy people who actually enjoys numbers and the balance that accounting brings…but I tell myself that I’m not your stereotypical accountant. I do enjoy creating and making things fun or pretty. Some of my favorite things to make cute-ish are my three crazy baby girls…Gracie Faye (8), Addie Gayle (6), and Enslie June (1). I spend my days running between my office, school pickups, doctor appointments (loooooooots of these but that’s a story for a different day), soccer practice, horse-back riding lessons, church and squeezing in outings with my family and friends! I manage to make this all work with the help of coffee (so much coffee some days), my tribe of amazing women and family members, prayers and a wee bit of wine. I do not always make it look easy but the key is I generally make it nonetheless. I hope you all will enjoy some of my ideas on how to handle organization, home decorating, family fun, mommin’ (you’ll soon learn I love new words), and reviews of products and places I love. Please join me in making this life CUTE-ISH!

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

“Your house can wait. The dishes can wait. One day, the kids will be gone and all you’ll have left are dishes and the house to clean. Let that be your focus then.”

Yes, I certainly have [taken this advice]. I am a perfectionist by nature and it makes me feel crazy and anxious to look around and see a mess…but it makes me even more crazy (and anxious) to try to keep everything spotless with all my littles around. It’s simply not possible to have it all done all the time, so I have given myself permission to accept this.

Yes, I certainly would [give it to someone else]. I can’t exhaust all my energy on spotlessness and I don’t think anyone else should either when little people (and big people) need your attention more.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I think I expected it to be calmer and probably easier (ha)! I don’t think I expected quite as much chaos.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I am fiercely independent and strive to instill this in my children while also giving them as much help and support as they actually need. I feel like I have done a “decent” job of creating little independent ladies…except the baby of the family. She still needs some work. 😊

I aim for consistency and feel like I can consider myself consistent with them about 80% of the time. They typically know how I will react to a situation before I actually do react. They know what crosses the line (and not that they don’t ever cross it…because they do) and they know that will bring more serious consequences.

I am not an overly affectionate person by nature. I’m not super touchy feely but I know how important physical touch is…especially to little ones and they get more hugs/kisses and pats in a day than I could ever possibly count. They know they are loved.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Our baby has a chromosome abnormality which has resulted in her needing a LOT of therapy and her immune system was really down for about 3 months (immediately following her diagnosis) …meaning she had the flu, RSV, 2 bouts of febrile seizures and a constant ear infection during that time in addition to the therapists’ visits (roughly 3 a week) and regular doctor visits. I’m an accountant and of course these 3 months were smack in the middle of tax season in which I work 55 – 60 hours. It was an extremely overwhelming, stressful time of trying to process her diagnosis, juggle work, appointments and just regular “mommin’” life.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I don’t actually feel that I’ve lost anything other than time…time disappears so fast since having children. Maybe it would have with age anyway…but I feel like time is so fleeting and it does feel like I’m always running out of time, whether it be for things I want to do or just things I need to do. (And…before kids I was able to keep things completely organized and looking prettier than I do now.)

[I have gained] everything. It all sounds so cliché…but I can barely remember a time before my girls. They are our focus, what we do, what we care about, what we enjoy and what makes us crazy. I am so much more compassionate, understanding and accepting of the fact that I know so little. Before kids, I thought I had life figured out…haha! I now know that I have nothing figured out and that is great! I will get to keep learning for the rest of my life…learning things for them and with them.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I want the girls to know that there is absolutely nothing in this world that they could ever do that would make me love them less. Their best is enough for me…less is not, but if they are trying their best…I will be 100% accepting of that and always have their backs. If they have a problem, we have a problem and they can bring it to me and know they are not alone. The world is full of people and things that will turn on you on a dime…I desperately want them to know that while that is so true…they don’t have to worry about this with me or our God.

Mom of Fame – Alicja

Alicja’s interview came to us at the perfect time; not only were we dedicating a month to interviews with mom bloggers, but we were also hoping to get more interviews with “veteran” moms to give us some much needed guidance.  She has 10 years of motherhood experience under her belt, and you can definitely tell from her answers. She candidly speaks about taking time for yourself (by reminding us that, “happy mommy raises happy children.”), how being a mom is a privilege, and the importance of having a supportive partner (and acknowledging that support by mentioning him in this very interview).

Please help us welcome Alicja into our Mom of Fame! Also, be sure to check out her blog, Just Redefine, it’s now one of our favorites!

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Please tell us a little about yourself and your family.

I am a wife and mom of three little bombs of energy (my boys are 9 and 4 years old and princess will be two very soon). Besides that, I am a housewife with two diplomas in the drawer and recently a blogger. I’ve made it a mission of mine to encourage other moms to live the full, successful lives they dream about no matter of the size of chaos around them. I am very happy to connect to all the moms reading momfaming blog!

 

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I’m pretty sure every mom got that advice: when your baby sleeps, you should sleep. I’ve heard various reactions to that. I decided to not treat that literary but understood it as a “when there’s a moment that baby doesn’t need you, it’s your moment for self-care”. There were times when I actually napped but also read books or simply watched TV. Rarely I used that time to catch up on household chores. Thanks to that I was able to take care of my kids with a smile, without the feeling I’m losing my mind. I’m telling this to all my pregnant friends. Happy mommy raises happy children. At this hard, early stage your child will definitely not remember the mess at home, but there’s a chance s/he will remember mama’s smile.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

When I had my first son, I was sure I knew everything I needed to know. I learned how to take care of the baby from my mom when she had my much younger brother. I was finishing my master’s in psychology, I read so much on the subject, that I was feeling almost overprepared. Plus, I hoped some maternal instinct will kick in and guide me. How silly of me 😉 Even though I knew the technical stuff, how to bathe him and so on, everything else was so surprising. The fact that I could spend my days just watching him, the amount of love and worry that I felt every single day, the magic patience that I showed when he was crying (I still don’t know where it came from and where did it go after my third baby). Everything was different than I imagined.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

What a great question. Every mom should answer this to her self!  First of all, I see treating my kids as a priority as my greatest strength. It makes adjusting my whole life to their needs easy and natural. This also affects my next point – as a mom I became good at organizing our family life [so that] way we’re not going crazy. I can handle both: controlling everyday chaos and unplanned last-minute events. I’m also quite proud of the contact I have with my kids, they know they can always talk to me about everything and anything. Not to mention, I am able to persuade them to tell me everything I want to know with my charming, easy going way 😉

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I call it the dark times. I was depressed sometime after having the third child. I felt it’s not really post-partum depression, I just lost myself. Connect that to what I said earlier about my children being my priority and it’s easy to see how scared and guilty I felt that my state of mind may affect my family. I must admit that I still am figuring out what was going on with me, I’m waiting for the moment I’ll be able to joke about it. I was completely overwhelmed with all the roles I’m supposed to play on top of fighting my own problems at the moment.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

Becoming a mother is a privilege and a mission. Ask any woman who tries for years to get pregnant. I made a choice to have children. By doing so, I needed to give up a couple of things, but I don’t see it as losing anything. Even when I felt lost, like I mentioned above, it was never about being a mother. The honorable mention goes here to my husband, who is extremely helpful and supportive. He is the originator of my “just redefine” philosophy that I now share on my blog. I’ve definitely changed since I’m a mom. I’ve gained a new identity, a new purpose. From the 10-year perspective, I must say I was an excellent decision.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

Another excellent question! I hope they will observe and learn how to create a relationship with their spouses based on unconditional love, trust and partnership. I want them to know how loved they are and how important it is for them to invest in their own kids. I’m talking about time, engagement, not only money. If they got that, I am happy. All the rest will fall into places.

Mom of Fame – Sapna

When Sapna reached out and said that she was interested in being interviewed we were so excited. Not only does she have an amazing blog, but she also expressed how much she loves what we’re doing with our blog (flattery will get you everywhere, obviously!). Once we read Sapna’s answers we were even more excited. Each of her answers are so thoughtful and helpful to moms everywhere. She has such a unique perspective of motherhood from raising her three children in several different states, while also making sure to keep them aware of her Indian culture and her husband’s southern traditions.

As always, we are so thankful to be able to welcome Sapna into our Mom of Fame. Please leave her some love and help her realize how much she deserves to be there! Also be sure to check out her blog by clicking on the link below!

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Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

Hey y’all! My name is Sapna and I’m a pharmacist turned stay at home mom of 3 beautiful, smart kiddos. I grew up in Atlanta, GA, but my parents are of Indian descent. They moved to America shortly after they were married to provide a better life for my brother and I. I consider myself to be Southern as I have spent the majority of my life living in Georgia. However, my parents did a great job instilling Indian values and culture in me. My husband is actually Caucasian, which makes our children mixed. It’s important to me that I pass on to my children the values and culture of my Indian heritage, as well as the Southern traditions of my husband’s family and my childhood. I recently started a blog about what its like raising half-white, half-asian children in America. I write about everyday mom issues, tips and tricks, and resources for helping Indian Americans raise their children. I also added a sort of book club as I’m an avid reader, and I’m working on lots of yummy recipes coming soon! Check it out at www.southerndesimommy.com, and follow me on Facebook!

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

The advice to “ignore what everyone thinks motherhood should look like and just do it your way” was the best advice I’ve ever received. It’s easy to get all flustered and feel like your failing when all you see around you are so called stepford moms with their perfect bodies and perfect babies, who have all their ducks in a row. For me, motherhood is far from that. With my 3 crazy kiddos we take things one day at a time, but we always have fun! Our house is a mess, and I haven’t brushed my hair in a week. We hit up the gym regularly, and I try to make sure we do at least one fun kids activity daily. My advice to you is to just focus on what makes you and your family happy and healthy – that’s what’s most important.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Motherhood is a lot lonelier than I imagined. I guess I figured all moms were somehow automatically great friends, but it turns out that’s not the case. We have moved multiple times since having children, in fact, all 3 of our children are born in different states. It’s been really tough trying to meet other moms who have kids of similar ages and to connect with them socially. Being a working mom with my first 2 kids made it even harder. After my 3rd child was born, I was able to stay at home with the kids, which has given me so much more time to interact with moms groups and go on play dates, etc. I’m still working on it, but I think I’ve finally found a group of great ladies I can relate to 🙂

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

1. I’m a planner and I like to be prepared. I plan our meals, play dates and activities for the kids, and I always have snacks/drinks in my van and on my person. Hell hath no fury like a hungry toddler.

2. I’m good at going with the flow. When our plans are interrupted by some unforeseen complication, I’m pretty chill. I stay calm so the kids stay calm while we think of a way to solve the issue at hand and get our day back on track. Problem solving is an important skill I want to teach my kids. It’s imperative that they learn to handle a “bump in the road” because life in the real world is full of them!

3. I love my children, unconditionally and with all my heart. No matter how crazy they make me or how many times they’ve had to go in time out, at the end of the day I make sure they know that they are loved no matter what.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

When my second daughter was born we had just moved to a new state. It was December and we now lived in Wisconsin. We hardly knew anyone there, and had no support system. Being new to the crazy winters of the north, stuck inside with a 2 yo and a newborn, plus postpartum depression made for a terrible combination. I also had to return to my full time job after just 6 weeks. I felt so guilty dropping my girls off with a nanny while my husband and I went off to work. It turns out the nanny was horrible, and my newborn developed positional plagiocephaly from being left on her back all day. Thankfully we were able to get a bazillion second opinions and it turned out she did not require surgery. It was a ridiculously stressful time. I cried, ate my feelings, and cried some more. I survived, but I’m now convinced that hell is cold, dark, and lonely – not unlike the winters of Wisconsin – no offense to all you northerners out there 🙂

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

Oh my, I have lost my body, my mind, my sleep, and all personal space – I can’t even go to the bathroom alone, haha! But in return I have gained endless love and joy, and oh so much laughter! My kids are my reason for living and I’m so thankful to them for reminding me of all the little things in life that are so precious. I cherish all the moments we’ve shared and the memories we’ve made over the years.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I hope my children learn to love unconditionally and to be kind to others. I strive to make love and kindness a priority in my life and I hope that they will see that and learn from it. In this day and age what they say is true, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.”

If you would like to read more about the struggles of raising bi-lingual kids check out Sapna’s blog post about it here.

Mom of Fame – Genny

Our favorite part about our Mom of Fame Interviews is sharing experiences of all different kinds of moms. This is why when we “met” Genny we were excited to share her unique experiences. She is originally from Columbia, has two teenage children and one toddler, and has gone through a difficult divorce. Her perspective of motherhood has been redefined by each of these things.

Please help us welcome another amazing mom into our Mom of Fame and check out her blog at the link below! Thanks for participating, Genny!

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Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

My name is Genny Gall. I am a Latina girl born in Colombia and living in CA. Dear wife of an adorable husband and father who unconditionally supports his family. I am a mother of three, a beautiful little girl who loves to explore the world, a boy who loves sports and an oldest daughter who follows my steps in art. I have a passion for style, creativity and a deep love for photography which all led me to create my blog in 2016: What’s up dearie. [It is a] blog related to Reviews, Photography, Beauty, Art, DIY and a little about life with style.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

My mom always told me that the sooner I release my mind, and accept that things will not be the same, I can take things as they are with less anguish and things will flow. And it’s the same thought that I might deliver as advice to anyone. An example I have: I wanted to breastfeed a lot and for an extended period, but this was not my case, and that does not banish me from having achieved it or make me look like I am not a good mother. Not all of us have the same capacity.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I imagined motherhood as many women do, that it might seem rosy, and with children who seem to be little angels all the time. It is easy to create an idealized image of motherhood. But each woman lives motherhood in a different, distinctive and unique way. For me, real motherhood is full of good and bad moments; of hugs and laughter but also of diapers and screams of explosive children, even teens. I always just put all my efforts and take things slowly and calmly. Like the old proverb says, “let it be”, while being flexible and strict at the same time.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Being a mother is an adventure. It is a journey to the incredible and a mix of emotions that even words can’t describe. It’s learning something new every day, so I am delighted in being stronger, patient and competitive.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I felt quite overwhelmed when I separated from my ex-husband. It was a difficult time in which I did not know if I had made the best choice in my life or for my children because I was living a chaotic life then. The help of my parents was crucial, and this does not mean that I did not take care of my obligations as a mother, but the support of them helped me understand and overcome that stage. [I realized that] no matter how old you are, the parents will always be there. This state is one that I prefer not to recall because it’s [in the] past, and I do not like to live in the past. Now I have a new life, a husband that supports me and loves me no matter what. And the best of all, my husband and I don’t like drama at all.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

To live as a mother to me is to give everything, it has sacrifices without a doubt, but it earns more than it loses. I think I have not lost anything; on the contrary, it has made me a better person, more patient, affectionate, responsible and kind.

The only thing I could say, as a mother, is you have [to be able to] go to the bathroom with child supervision, because it is impossible to go to the bathroom alone.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

Responsibility and respect.