Moming through the Pandemic – Katie: Blogger and SAHM of Two

Our next ‘Moming through the Pandemic’ story is from Katie, a stay at home supermom. She was 6 months pregnant with a preschooler at home when everything started shutting down. She was also running a blog (Thrifty Wife Happy Life) in her “spare” time. No matter what the pandemic threw at her, though, she has stayed positive and is rocking this “chapter” of her life!

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Katie–we can all learn from your positivity!

Tell us about yourself and your family.

Hi I’m Katie! I am the mom of two, Jack (5) and Anna (8-months). My husband, Kevin, is an airline pilot and we live in Grand Rapids, MI. I worked as a preschool teacher until almost 2-years ago. We had been living in Las Vegas for over 4 years for my husband’s job, but when his company opened a base in Grand Rapids we felt that it only made sense that we move back to Michigan so we could be closer to our parents. Instead of looking for another preschool teacher job when we moved, we decided that it would be best for our family if I stayed home full time. 

On top of being a stay-at-home-mom, I also have a lifestyle blog called Thrifty Wife Happy Life. I started it years ago as a little side hobby to keep me busy while my husband was on over nights, but it’s become so much more than just a hobby. I share affordable fashion tips and also my journey through motherhood. It’s now become more than just an outlet for me, it’s turned into a little side job. 

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

At first it was a huge adjustment. Even though I was already a stay-at-home-mom, Jack was in preschool at a child care center full day. When we moved back to MI we decided it was best for Jack to keep him in school full time since that was what he was used to. His school closed in mid-March and he didn’t return until July.  That was a big change having him home all day with me and we couldn’t leave the house. He needs a lot of entertainment and he thrives on a schedule so it was a tough adjustment for us at first. 

I was also 6-months pregnant when the pandemic first started getting bad in the U.S. and things were scary for a while. I was so worried that my husband wouldn’t be with me in the delivery room or that I would test positive for Covid andmy baby might be taken from me while I had to quarantine. Luckily everything worked out and Anna’s birth went really smoothly. 

After Anna was born in June things seemed to be almost back to normal for a while. We did a lot of outdoor meet ups with family and went to the park, but then as the weather cooled off and Covid cases started to go back up things started to feel isolating again. 

The biggest change for us is just having no plans at all. We use to go out to eat every weekend or take Jack to the museum or a play place on the weekends. Now we just stay home every week. It seemed like we had a visitor at our house every other weekend, but now that’s rare and if people do come see us we are usually meeting them in the driveway with masks on. It’s just not the same. 

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

The one-on-one quality time we have been able to spend as a family is the best thing to come out of all of this. I spent almost 4 months day in and day out with my son and I realized that I had never done that before. Before that the longest amount of time we have had together was during my 7 week maternity leave. It’s been fun watching him grow and turn into a big brother.

• 

• 

• 

What is the hardest part about it?

The hardest part is not seeing our friends and family very much. Having a new baby and not being able to share her with others is tough. We moved to Michigan so our kids would grow up closer to their grandparents and here we are not being able to see them that often. I had envisioned never having to miss a holiday with family and being able to celebrate our kids birthdays with friends and family now that we live back in Michigan. Instead we have been home just the 4 of us for every holiday and birthday celebration. 

What have you learned about yourself during this time?

I’ve gained confidence as a mother during this time. I’ve always questioned my decisions as a mom and I suffer from mom guilt a lot, but this pandemic has changed that. Especially after having Anna. I feel like after all I’ve been through having 2 kids is nothing. I was so worried about adding another baby to our family during a pandemic. I was worried that I’d struggle without any help. I was worried that I would have postpartum depression and I’d be alone, but that hasn’t been the case. I felt really good after Anna was born. She completely turned my year around. Having her at this time has been my greatest blessing. She’s taught me a lot about myself. They both have. 

What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

My kids are so unphased by this whole thing. Obviously Anna doesn’t know anything else, but Jack has been so understanding of everything. You would think he would have been upset that we couldn’t go to the mall and play in the play area anymore. Or that  we can’t go stay at his grandparents house, but he’s been so positive about it all. He calls it the germs and he tells me all the time what his plans will be when the germs are gone. He doesn’t even mind that he has to wear a mask all day at school.

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Um everything! Lol! I’m really excited to be able to see our family again. Our parents live 2 hours away, but because we haven’t been able to stay over nights our visits with everyone have been very short. My sister-in-law who lives in California is dying to meet Anna so I’m hoping we can see them soon! I’m also hoping we can go on vacation soon! I miss traveling. 

Kevin and I are also dying for a date night out with just the 2 of us. We haven’t done that since before Anna was born. We’d love to go on a trip together to celebrate our 10th anniversary this summer, but we will see how things are at that point. I don’t think I’m ready to leave Anna too long yet. We’d be grateful for an hour without the kids 😂

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

Online grocery shopping!! I never used the online grocery store ordering apps before. I didn’t trust having other people pick out my produce. But after going to the grocery store during a pandemic with all the craziness, plus being 9-months pregnant at the time,  I decided to try it. Now I will always do my grocery shopping online. At least my big weekly grocery orders. It saves me so much time and I will definitely never bring both kids to the store with me again unless I’m really bored and just want a challenge. 😂😂

• 

• 

Anything else you want to add?

I will just say that I think the best way to get through this time is to stay positive. Sometimes it’s hard, but I try my best to focus on the positive things in life. I think it’s important to focus on the things you can control in life, not what you can’t. This is only a chapter in our book, not the whole story!

Moming through the Pandemic – Erin: Stay-at-home mom of two

Well Momfaming friends, it’s been a while. In order to catch you up on my life let’s rewind to February of last year…

• I went out to dinner to celebrate my 35th birthday with my 3 best friends…little did I know this would be the last time I would step foot in a restaurant
• I took Ryan to his Physical Therapy appointment…not realizing it would be his last in-person therapy
• We went to our local Gigi’s Playhouse for Ryan to play with some friends…having no idea that it would be his last chance to see other kiddos
• Oh yeah…and I found out that I was pregnant with my second child.

To say this past year has been difficult is a gross understatement. Moming through a pandemic is something I never imagined I’d have to do and it is anything but easy. Since I know a lot of others are in the same boat, I decided I should share some of my experiences and hope others can relate (or commiserate?!)

• 

• 

• 

Tell us about yourself and your family.

I am Erin, the other half of the Momfaming Duo. I have a spirited 3 year old who is rocking an extra chromosome (Ryan) and now I also have a 3 month old “pandemic baby” (Lincoln). I found out I was pregnant with Lincoln a few weeks before all of the craziness began. I remember when I was finally telling people I was pregnant everyone’s response was “at least all of this will be over by the time you deliver”; boy were they wrong! Every single one of my prenatal appointments as well as my delivery were during the pandemic. I wouldn’t suggest being pregnant during a pandemic, but I’m glad I was because now I have another amazing boy to add to our clan.

I am also a “retired” teacher turned stay at home mom and I never once questioned that decision until the pandemic hit. Being a stay at home mom during a time like this is a whole different ballgame!

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

Well, we basically don’t leave the house. All of Ryan’s therapies have turned virtual and we have stopped doing any activities with the kids outside of the house (besides for playing in our yard and walks around the sub). The only person outside of our house that we see is my mom so we occasionally go to her house too. When the weather was nice we saw a few friends outside a handful of times and I am hoping to be able to do that again come spring.

Not leaving the house has definitely changed my stay at home mom parenting style. We used to make sure we had something fun to do outside of the house at least a few days a week to keep us sane (even if it was just running to the grocery store). We also tried to get together with friends for play dates as much as possible. Without being able to do those things we have had to come up with different ways to stay occupied. In the summer we bought an inflatable pool, swing, and slide to have in our yard so that Ryan would have things to do. Now that it’s too cold to go outside for long periods of time we have had to become more creative; like dance parties, baking, and an indoor basketball hoop! It hasn’t been easy, but we are making it work (barely)!

• 

• 

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

My husband has been able to spend more time with the kiddos. As a stay at home mom I was already present for all of the milestones and funny stories throughout the day; now he is able to join in with that too. He is working from home most of the week so he is able to come down and play with the kids while he’s taking a break as well as eat lunch with us.

It’s been so nice to see his and Ryan’s relationship flourish because of this. Ryan used to only come to me for things, and now he’ll go to his dad too. Sometimes he’ll even take something away from me to bring to his dad because he’d rather play it with him. Although that stings a little, it’s also very nice to see (and even gives me a break every once in a while)!

What is the hardest part about it?

There are so many things that have been hard about quarantine; not seeing friends, not getting any alone time, not getting to see Ryan with kiddos his age, not being able to introduce Lincoln to anyone, and not being able to just throw the kids in the car to run some errands. Without a doubt the hardest part for me, though, is having to decide between Ryan’s health and his development.

Like I said before, Ryan has Down syndrome so he used to have PT once a week through the school district and had also just started private PT and Speech through our local hospital. I was also going with him to a class once a week where he was socializing with peers as well as learning the classroom routine. Once everything shut down, that included all of his therapies. He would continue virtual PT and OT and in the fall we began virtual preschool.

Trying to get a 3 year old (especially one with Down syndrome) to sit at the computer for PT, OT and/or preschool has been quite the challenge. It is a constant battle and I know that he is not getting anywhere near as much out of it as he would be if he were attending in person. He has made some great progress during quarantine (he started walking) but I also know that things are moving slower than they would be if he could be face to face.

On the other hand, Down syndrome is considered a high risk group when it comes to the coronavirus. Because kids with DS are immunocompromised and have low muscle tone they usually have serious side effects if they get any respiratory illness. We have been very lucky with Ryan and haven’t encountered these issue at all but we do not want to risk it. Ultimately we decided to keep him at home because we know that is where he is safest, but I still feel guilt every day that he is not getting the support he needs to develop his skills.

• 

• 

• 

What have you learned about yourself during this time?

That I can do anything life throws at me and no matter what I can put on a brave face for those around me. Living through a pandemic while pregnant and then with a newborn and toddler is TOUGH and although I have been super frustrated and even sad some days my kids would never know it. I have always prided myself on the fact that I have a lot of patience, and boy was that tested this year. Did I have as much as I thought I did? Probably not. But no matter what was going on in the outside world (or even my head) my kids lived as normal of a life as possible through all of this.

• 

• 

• 

What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

Well Lincoln has only known this way of life (poor kid) but it really surprised me how much Ryan apparently thrived on socializing with other people. Since I am a stay at home mom he has never been in daycare so I would never have labeled him as a social kid. But now that he does not see anyone besides mom and dad (and occasionally grandma) I can tell it’s affecting him.

We were lucky enough to see my brother, sister in law and niece and nephew over Christmas and he was a completely different child. He loved playing with his cousins as well as being around different adults. It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders and his frustrations seemed to go away. This makes me even more excited to be able to get together with friends again!

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Getting a break from being a mom! I can’t wait to just go out with my friends (without the kiddos) and talk about normal things (in between complaining about our kids and our husbands) while sipping some wine and eating some good food. I never realized how much these nights away gave me the restart I needed to continue to be the best mom and wife I can be.

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

Asking for help. Even without a pandemic I can’t do it all, nor should I have to. As a stay at home mom I feel like there is a lot of pressure to do everything yourself instead of asking your spouse to help because they have been working all day. Well now that we have two and are living through such a stressful time, I have realized I just can’t do it all myself. Some days I need my husband to take one of the kids while I deal with the other one, and other days I need him to take both while I collect myself. And that is okay. Pandemic or not; stay at home mom or not; I need help and I am now not afraid to ask for it!

• 

• 

• 

• 

Anything else you want to add?

I just want to make it clear that I know that in the grand scheme of things we are extremely lucky. We have not lost anyone close to us to this horrible virus nor have we gotten sick ourselves; we have a safe house to quarantine in with everything we need to keep us comfortable; we have not lost much income due to things shutting down; we are able to buy enough groceries to stay healthy; and we have each other and two pretty amazing kiddos to keep us company while we are stuck at home. So although this was one of the hardest years of my life, I know that others have had it MUCH worse and my heart goes out to them every day.

Moming through the Pandemic – Lisa: Full time working mom of two

Wow. How does one even start something like this? For the last (almost) year we have been moming through a pandemic. Did you ever see something like this coming? Were you prepared for it? I wasn’t.

I remember when it first started in our town and the absolute fear that went through my mind. I learned to tame that fear a bit as the months went on, but it’s still there. Not being able to see friends or family or go out and about like we used to do is hard. It’s hard for everyone, but we do what we need to do to stay healthy and get back to normal (whatever that might be).

We wanted to hear from all the moms out there. How are you? What are you feeling? I know I am completely overwhelmed. In the next couple of weeks we are going to do a spin on our Mom of Fame. We are going to be asking you how it’s been Moming through the Pandemic.

• 

• 

• 

Tell us about yourself and your family.

Most of you already know that I am one part of the Momfaming duo. I have a five year old son and an almost two year old girl. I am a full-time working mom and the last year has been nothing short of challenging.

My kids are in daycare so that my husband and I can both work. Sometime in March the daycare closed down and didn’t reopen until July. Both of our works had us working from home (and we both still do). We managed to get work done and still keep our kids busy by the skin of our teeth. Want to know if you are a patient mom? Get thrown into a pandemic when you can’t leave your house. It tested the best of us.

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

My priorities have changed 100%. My kids have, and always will, remain the top priority. My husband and work were, of course, up there too. The biggest thing that changed was how I viewed the space I was living in. I never cared so much about those sort of things prior. Our house was always cluttered and messy and it didn’t bother me (until I had people coming over).

Now that I work, live and spend almost 100% of my time in my house I care. I care SO much. Dishes can’t be left for the next day, vacuuming has to be done daily, clutter is getting thrown out or donated. I had to have a nice, clean, light workspace.

My house became my sanctuary and it needed to show itself as such.

• 

• 

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

Watching my youngest turn from a baby to a toddler. Since Adam and I work full-time we miss a lot of moments in development. This is the hardest part of being a working mom. Going into an office and knowing that you are missing these precious fleeting moments with your kids.

The gap of time where we had the kids home with us Cece learned to say words, walk and came into her own little personality. It was a perfect time to, literally, watch her grow.

What is the hardest part about it?

I have to narrow this down to three things. I think we can all, obviously, state that the hardest thing about this pandemic is seeing how many people are losing their loved ones without being by their side. I cannot even imagine this scenario (even though we have had people very close to us get it – one is still recovering after months).

1. Not seeing family or friends. Right from the start Adam and I knew that we would be sticking to the rules and keeping our bubble incredibly small. At first it was no one. In the summer we would see a few family and friends outside. In the fall/winter we just saw grandparents.
2. Watching my son notice how different the world is. Ben and I had a standing date every single weekend. Whether it was going to a movie, out to lunch, a trip to the mall or a playdate with a friend. Him and I always have our own special time out of the house with each other. His favorite thing was to go to restaurants. He loved the whole act of it. Picking where to go, where we would be sitting, what he would get to drink/eat and watching people (and playing Pokémon Go).
3. Being the best mom and employee at the same time. For four months we were juggling working full-time while also being a full-time mom. Luckily, Adam and I were both at home and shared the responsibility. You had to move from one thing to another seamlessly and it was ROUGH. The kids needed attention, but so did work. It took some time, but Adam and I figured it out and tried to rock it out.

• 

• 

• 

What have you learned about yourself during this time?

Beside having a lot more patience then I thought I had?!

I learned self-confidence. I am not sure why it took a pandemic to make me see it, but I found out that I am a really good mom. There are still days that I don’t feel that way, but looking at the last year I know that I kicked ass and that I make it all work.

My kids got a lot of screen time, but they also got SO much more love, attention and play-time than they ever thought possible.

• 

• 

• 

What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

How adaptive they can be. Things changed and things changed almost overnight. They went from seeing friends and family every single weekend to just mom and dad. They went from going to daycare and being occupied all day to independently playing.

Every time something changed they rolled with it. They didn’t freak out, they didn’t cry (maybe I did a little) and they didn’t complain.

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Oh, man. I miss SO much. I am so looking forward to planning a big ten year trip with Adam. I am looking forward to spending more time with my nieces (and nephew – when he can come from Cali!). I am SO looking forward to going out and grabbing a drink with my friends.

They say you don’t miss it until it’s gone and boy are they right. These minor things in life that you use to take for granted have a whole new meaning now. I guess that’s something I’ve learned as well. To live a simpler life and to be forever grateful for what we have.

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

I have really enjoyed working from home. I didn’t think I would at the start, but now I really think I flourish in my work space. I got myself a desk and a beautiful set-up. I am able to work longer hours without sacrificing my family. It’s really a great work/home/family balance and I hope that I can continue doing so.

• 

• 

• 

• 

Anything else you want to add?

I feel like quarantine with your kids and spouse could really go one of two ways and that there would be no in-between. We had the best days, we had good days, we had bad days and we had the worst days. It was really one of those in-between scenarios.

The BEST days outweighed the worst days by far. We became an incredibly close family that started understanding each other so much more. Day in and day out with the same people will do that. You know when to back off and when to lean in.

It’s been a very crazy last year, but I am forever grateful for the ones I am quarantining with.

Mom of Fame – Maureen: Three Different Births (Born Silent, Born by Induction, Born Naturally)

We love how willing moms are to opening up their hearts (and lives) to other moms. Honestly, there is no greater tribe then that of motherhood.

Maureen is mom to three. Two adorable little boys and one girl who was born silent. She writes with such open honesty that we were just hanging on every word. She talks about ‘maiden self’ (which we didn’t know anything about) and how each one of her births were so different.

She is the type of mom that you would want to go for any kind of advice and she’s the type of PERSON that would be willing to sit down with you and help. She deserves the title of Mom of Fame. Please welcome her and read her story below.

---

Tell us about yourself and family!

About me, I recently figured out that the common thread of my interests, passions, work experiences, conversations with others, and observations of communities/individuals has always related to well-being. Which MOMFAMING is a great example of supporting the well-being of mommas through connecting, supporting, and seeing mommas!

My husband, Michael, and I are journeying through almost 11 years of marriage. Marriage is such a journey! Am I right mommas?! He is the kindest man I know and I am grateful to walk with him through the mountains, flatlands, and valleys life throws all humans. I don’t always love those valleys but I am recently embracing them differently and trusting they pass. I am growing a new appreciation for them because they bring such gratitude to feelings of joy and the experience of being alive! I am so glad to do life with him.

We have two boys. Lars who is 5 years old and Lennox who is 5 months old! We also had a daughter (Hadley) who died, stillborn at 9 months of pregnancy. She was our first born and it was a healthy pregnancy. After an autopsy and genetic testing we never were able to figure out what happened.

Lars, our five year old is fun, independent-minded, joyful, and sweet. Lennox, our five month old is such a smiley and happy guy. His entire body smiles when he smiles and we are just soaking it all in. I keep saying I feel like a Grandma. Since there is a decent space between their ages (five years) I think I appreciate the moments so differently.

We have moved around quite a bit since having our children. We have lived in Kansas, Michigan, and California. We recently moved back to Michigan from San Diego, CA! We are both from Michigan so are loving being with family.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

At a very deep level you know what to do, what you need, and what they need. The important work is to eliminate the noise from society of what it should look like and be aware of how our own ego/past experiences impact us. As that noise quiets down, that deeper knowing emerges and you can tune into that and work from that space. I didn’t receive this advice until our third but I fully embraced the advice and guidance. I would totally give that piece of advice to someone else.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

It demands more than I thought. I didn’t think about all your body really goes through to create, carry, birth, then nourish a baby. That is a lot and it demands the time and space for all of that to happen. It really does require you to care for yourself at a different level than I thought so you can show up for yourself, your partner, and the kiddos.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I care deeply about my boys growing up with an emotional vocabulary and learning how to be comfortable in ALL of their emotions. I am still learning for myself how to do that but care about them building those muscles to navigate that process.

I smile a lot at them, find joy in little things, and love them deeply.

I am putting myself first, husband second, and them third. They need a momma that loves all of herself, loves their daddy, and loves the heck out of them. Also, something I am still working on daily because so much in our society tells us to put kids first and other things after. AND kids just need things all the time, like help opening a banana, or to nurse, or to change a diaper, or to play games! Ha!

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Four weeks postpartum with our first born son. I started having “weird thoughts” that now I have learned were completely normal for new moms and are called intrusive thoughts. From what I have learned, our bodies are intuitive and are in a mode to be aware and protect our babies. Most new moms experience intrusive thoughts in one form or another. For example with our third child, after he was born, I vividly thought about the possibility of me or someone else dropping him while going down the stairs. The thought came into my mind very often, where before I would have been worried. By reframing and understanding things differently, I gently thanked my body and mind for tuning in and reminding me to take it slowly going down the stairs and to be more cautious while others held him. Many mothers stay silent in shame. If you are reading this and experienced this as well, know you are normal. I would encourage you to get to a momma’s group or talk to a doctor. I plugged myself into Honey: A Space for Mom’s in Ferndale, MI after having our third child. That is where I realized I was totally normal and felt supported!

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

No. I think I have just evolved. It took me a long time (5 years) to fully open myself up to the vastness that is motherhood. While pregnant with our second son, my prenatal yoga teacher talked about grieving your maiden self (yourself before kids). I realized, right when she said it, that I still had not allowed myself to grieve and close that chapter and fully welcome in motherhood. After allowing myself to grieve my maiden self I felt a massive shift towards opening myself fully up to being a mom. I loved my son (and daughter) so much AND at a deep level didn’t quite feel like motherhood fit me. After that process I felt like I opened myself up to the vastness of the role as a parent/mother. Now I feel that motherhood fits perfectly. I am so grateful to experience it and I am grateful to get to feel that. It was always hard to feel like for some women it just perfectly clicked for them.

In terms of what I have gained from becoming a mother; empathy and humility. Loads of empathy and loads of humility. DAILY! And such fun and beautiful moments with them. I feel most alive and whole seeing them smile, laugh, and experiencing the simplest of things.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I just want them to feel loved from their momma. They will learn so many things from so many people and experiences in life. I hope they will know they are loved and I hope they are kind to others and themselves.

We know that no two births are the same. Can you tell us the differences between your births?

We have had three births. Our first was different in the sense that our daughter died and I delivered her stillborn. We went to the hospital because I didn’t feel movement and she didn’t have a heartbeat. I immediately went from wanting to try a natural birth with no epidural to not wanting to feel any of it. I think I just didn’t want to feel that massiveness of what was happening. Although it would seem horrible, which of course it was, it was also such a beautiful time and birth because that was our time with her. We were in Kansas and I got an epidural early on so really didn’t feel much physical pain. Just the pressure while pushing. My husband and best friend were in the room for the entire labor. We experienced every emotion during that labor. About one hour before Hadley was born my childhood best friend showed up and was there for delivery. We held her for a while that night then spent time with her the next day before saying goodbye. I often get asked what would be a helpful gift to give someone if someone you know experiences a stillbirth. They Were Still Born: Personal Stories About Stillbirth by Janel C. Atlas. It was THE most helpful thing early on in grieving. It has so many stories from other women and their experiences of stillbirth.

Our second birth, of our son Lars, was such a different experience. We hired a doula knowing we needed and wanted support. We delivered him vaginally, with full Pitocin and no epidural at 38 weeks. We chose to induce early because we didn’t know why Hadley had died and so the doctors suggested doing it. Our doula walked us through the entire birth, advocated for what we needed, and really guided me and my husband through the entire birth. And when Lars came out it was such an unbelievable moment to experience him. Our room was dark most of the time, our doula brought essential oils, and my husband was the best DJ ever. I still say some of his song selections and timing is what got me through. I will never forget seeing Lars with his eyes wide open and feeling him in my arms.

Our third birth, was really a culmination of learning from our birthing experiences with Hadley and Lars. We took a birthing class from an unbelievable woman in San Diego who was also my prenatal yoga instructor. Through that process, my husband and I got to a point that we were very confident in knowing what we wanted, felt equipped with birthing positions, felt we could advocate for what we wanted during the labor process given whatever curve-balls may come our way, and felt much more open to letting the birth be whatever it was that showed up. We delivered at the Karmanos Natural Birthing Center in Royal Oak, MI. We were fully open to getting epidural or not forcing a natural birth if I changed my mind during labor. I ended up delivering vaginally with no epidural (and no Pitocin needed this time). Michael and I fully did that birth together. We were basically on our own with very minimal monitoring. Of course our midwife popped in once in a while along with our nurse, but we just got to intimately deliver our third baby together. AND our nurse massaged the heck out of my lower back for some of it like a boss! Our lactation consultant told me about the breast crawl and that they didn’t need to take baby right away to do all the measurements and things they routinely do right after if the baby looked okay. So they left Lennox right on me in in my arms. We left the vernix on until we left the hospital two days later (I like staying for as long as I can). We left Lennox on for the breast crawl that took about an hour and a half until he crawled up and latched on. I am beyond grateful learning about this from our lactation consultant. It was a complete game changer. He was calm during the entire process and it was such a calming/bonding experience for us.

Photo by Kelly Stork Photography

Mom of Fame – Angela: Rainbows after the Storm

Angie is the mom of two adorable kiddos (she had two under two!). One boy and one girl. She advises that no matter what season you are in with your children or marriage that you should always work as a team and we could not agree more!

She has a great appreciation of her friends and family and stresses the importance of taking help.

We want to recognize all the mothers we possibly can and Angie is another great addition to our Mom of Fame!

---

Tell us about yourself and family!

I am 34 years old( which I can literally never remember … like ever. I had to do the math AGAIN this time!).

I live in South Lyon with my husband Jr, puppy Miggy, and two kids, Grayson Martin (19 months old) & Piper Josephine (two months.) We had two miscarriages before God finally blessed us with our rainbow baby and we haven’t looked back since.

19 months later we’re a family of 4 navigating this crazy life together!

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I was given a lot of good advice and have continued to get it every day!

One piece of advice I would pass on would be to accept help! I’ve never been good at asking for help and always want to do everything on my own. When people offer help, they want to help! Take it because it won’t always be there.

I’m not sure if someone told me this, but another piece of advice I would pass along would be that no matter what phase the kids (or your marriage when having kids) is going through, it will pass, you just need to work as a team!

First its the 4-5 wake ups with the newborn and learning together how to nurse. Then came sleep training which was hard, but we got through it! Next up was the first (of many) sleep regressions *which felt impossible at the time*. But, they don’t last for ever!

Followed up with teething and temper tantrums (these were a little bit of a longer phase) but we got through them just in time for another sleep regression.

I’ve learned to just take a deep breath, smile, and think of how blessed we are that THESE are the big problems in our life, and as long as we work together, we’re going to get through them!

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Shockingly, its not much different at all.

I was one of the last of my friends to have a baby and I had pretty amazing role models to fill me in before I became a mommy. The main thing that is different would just be how little time I have for myself. I knew I would have less time, but a lot of days it feels like I have none! Some days it is hard because all I want to do is get a work out in, or get my nails done but at the end of the day, I know this is just a phase and soon I’ll find more time for myself.

For the time being, I’m going to enjoy these kiddos while they are young!

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Balance | Patience | Rules/Boundaries

It has taken some time, but I’ve learned that I can’t do everything, so I need balance- and I have really grown in this area.

I have also been sure to try and have more patience, specifically with my son and husband. I find myself going a million miles a minute and doing 3-4 things at a time, then being short with my family. I’ve tried really hard to not do that and balance things out by realizing the order of importance.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I get overwhelmed when I try to do EVERYTHING.

I am used to working, coaching, keeping the house clean, working out, playing volleyball, maintaining friendships and working on my marriage… but when you add two babies in the mix, something has to give.

The babies obviously come first, and that means the other areas have all been slacking at some point or another. It’s overwhelming to me that I’m not able to keep up on everything but I have some pretty amazing friends that ground me and remind me to soak in these moments with the kids because I’m going to blink and its all going to be gone!

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I know it may seem cliche but I really don’t think I have lost anything (besides TIME!). From a young age I knew I wanted to have a family and be a mother.

I can say that I have gained a new level of respect for all mothers out there. I’ve heard people say it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world and I’d have to agree. However, I have gained strength that I didn’t know I was lacking, and patience that I need on a daily basis.

I have also gained an even grater sense of time management and have learned to cut myself a little slack. If I don’t get that work out in, or the laundry done, or dishwasher unloaded it will always be there tomorrow.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I want them to learn to be strong, kind, independent, and caring people.

I want them to learn not to give up when things get tough, and that it’s OK to try something new and fail, but to try again.

What was more difficult for you? Going from no kids to one kid or one kid to two kids? Why? What were some of the challenges with both?

I think they are difficult for different reasons.

The hardest thing for me is feeling like I’m not being a good mother if I don’t get EVERYTHING done.

When I had Grayson it took me a while to get to a place where I felt like I had it all “under control” and was juggling everything well. Then I had Piper and TWO under TWO took a lot more attention!

I’ve been very blessed with two “easy babies” and an amazing husband, as well as a tribe of not only family, but friends!

Mom of Fame – Amy: The Gift of a Down Syndrome Diagnosis

When I first learned that my son, Ryan, had Down syndrome Lisa suggested I follow @uplifeofemmyjoy on instagram. I checked her out and I’m so glad I did! Each day Amy posts videos and pictures of her adorable Emmy, who has Down syndrome. She made me understand how lucky I was to have Ryan and I loved watching Emmy, and now her son Reese live their day to day life!

When we reached out to Amy we were so excited that she agreed to share her experience with us since  was such an integral part of my transition to being a mom of a baby with Down syndrome. She shares her struggle getting pregnant, why being a stay at home mom is NOT boring, and how Down syndrome is a gift. Please read her amazing words and help us welcome her into the Hall of Fame, where she obviously belongs!

---

Meet my family.

We are Chris, Amy, Emerson aka Emmy, Reese and our dog Ozzie.

Chris and I have been married for 8 years. We always knew we wanted kids and after saving a little money the first two years of marriage we decided to start our family.

We never anticipated the struggle.

It took 3 years and a lot of medical interventions for me to finally get pregnant with our first baby, Emmy. She has been such a gift to our family. She is such a bright light. 2.5 years later her little brother Reese miraculously joined our family with absolutely no medical help whatsoever. We live in Southern California along with our entire extended family. I stay home with the kids and Chris works for a home builder.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I don’t remember what advice I was given besides, it goes so fast so enjoy every moment. I really do try my best to soak it all in and yes, I think everyone should follow that advice.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

It’s much busier than I imagined. I was told I’d feel lonely and bored as a stay at home mom but when your first born goes to therapy neither of those are true. I have a huge support group of friends and I’m never ever bored. We are a very busy little family.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I have come to realize that my biggest strength is patience. I knew I was patient in my teacher days and I’m even more so when it comes to my kids.

2. I have thick skin which is a major asset when raising a child who is differently abled.

3. I have great confidence in my abilities to love my children and to stand up for when they deserve and need.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I felt overwhelmed the first few weeks after my new baby was born. I had a very rough c section delivery, we were struggling with nursing and I wasn’t healed enough to fully care for my kids on my own. I was use to doing it all myself and needing others to help A LOT was overwhelming.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

Every stay at home mom looses their freedom to a certain extent. I can never go anywhere or do anything without making plans for someone to watch the kids or taking them with me. I’ve gained my purpose. I love being their mom and I love being an advocate for the special needs community. I wouldn’t trade what I’ve gained for the world.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I want them to learn everything but mostly I want my children to learn to be kind, independent and loving individuals that make a positive impact on the world.

Since it is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, what is the most important thing you want people to know about Down syndrome or about being a mom to a child with Down syndrome?

Down syndrome is a gift.

It’s not scary and if you get to be a part of someone’s life with Down syndrome you are lucky. Parts of this journey are hard but it’s mostly so beautiful. I wouldn’t change one hair on my daughter’s head.

I want for her what every parent wants for their child and in a world that doesn’t fully understand disabilities we will work harder and shout louder for her to be seen as the valuable human she is.

In order to help spread the truth and joy that Down syndrome is we need all of you to join us in shouting the worth of these beautiful humans.

Mom of Fame – Arianne: Single Mom to Blended Family

Arianne is a mom to two and step-mom to four! She was a single *boy mom* that met the man of her dreams and is now a blended family of eight. She talks about the achievements she has had from not only raising her boys, but from being a step mother as well. She goes into combining the two families and the challenges and success (and love) that comes along with it. She deserves the mom of fame title.

Please show Arianne some momfaming love!

---

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

I’m 33-years old and live in the small town of Morenci, Az. I am currently a full-time online college student with Grand Canyon University. As of August 2019, just made my University President’s List for maintaining a 4.0 GPA.

Until 3 years ago I was a single mom raising two boys to become men. Then I met my current fiancé and now combined we have 6 children total, 3 boys and 3 girls. All from ages 12-years old to 4-years old.

My life is fulfilled for the first time in my life, everything seems to be coming together. I’m achieving things I never thought I could possibly do. Someone helping me mold my sons and having daughters of my own.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

Motherhood is one of the most difficult jobs, yet one of the most rewarding jobs. It’s one of those blessings that come during the most difficult storms of your own, and your biggest achievement you could ever see is when you realize the young ladies and boys that you have raised and the people they become. To not be afraid to raise them by rules, and it’s ok to be the bad guy; that is your job because they will teach them to be great citizens. Not to baby them, and to allow them to stand on their own feet and use their voice.

At first as a new single mom I didn’t take the advice about not babying them, and about not standing over them and trying to do everything for my two sons. This was something I learned as they got older. It was extremely hard to break because they wouldn’t apply themselves and if something was hard, they wouldn’t want to do it.

Advice I would give is allow your children to learn how to use their own voice in a respectful manner. If something is happening at school that is bothering them, they need to tell a member of the school staff. They need to not be afraid to be honest and talk to someone that will teach them how to understand what having a voice truly means. Also, allow them to try new things. If they are three and want to try and make their own chocolate milk then let them, let them start to explore and remember they are learning by watching you.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I thought Motherhood would be easy. That it’s a natural way of life. Motherhood is far from that! It’s a constant learning experience and constantly is teaching you more about yourself as a woman and mother.

Motherhood changes you and that’s something I never thought I would do. I thought I was secure in who I was, but becoming a mother taught me more about my own strengths and weaknesses that I didn’t know I had.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

1. Patience has become one of my biggest strengths when it comes to their bad days, or teaching them how to cook. Patience and being patient with them during homework and life lessons.

2. Listening to them. When I learned to listen to my children my relationship with them got stronger. Showing that their feelings do matter.

3. Making time for the little things. Life gets so busy and making the time to go on that bike ride with them because they asked or going to throw the ball with them. Making time for the little things is also a huge strength because that’s when the bonding happens.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

When I went from being a mom of two children to a mom/stepmom of six children.

Combining a family and trying to do everything for all of them and build relationships and understand them. That was extremely hard and overwhelming. I would hide in the bathroom at times just because I felt, at many times, I couldn’t make any of them happy or be the mother/stepmother I wanted to be.

It’s frustrating and felt like I was failing them all. It took about a year of overcoming the feelings I had to finally understand how to be the mother I wanted. It also took me not giving up just because it was hard. My stepchildren love their dad, but there is something about the women of the house. Always coming in to ask me something when my fiancé was right next to me or coming in to tell on someone.

Learning how to be what they all needed was very overwhelming. Now I can say it was worth it.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

Being a mother, there is no room for being selfish. Everything you do as a mother is for your children. No decision can be made without thinking how this will affect your children.

I was a selfish young adult, and that wasn’t the best quality. So, gaining the understanding of not being selfish, I feel, has made myself a better person in general.

Having my children has made me a better person.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

How to accept your mistakes and learn from them.
How to never give up when things get hard.
How to constantly want to improve and grow as a person.
How to always reach for your best and challenge yourself.
How to never stop being about family.
How to understand that being a stepparent is just as important; to be a parent to all the children.
How blood doesn’t make you family, but if you have step siblings, they are your family. How to protect each other as they grow up together.
How to be strong and independent people.

Mom of Fame – Jamie : A New Mom’s Take on Returning to Work

We are so grateful every day to all of the moms who are willing to share their stories with us. Next up is Jamie! She is an amazing mom to a 6 month old boy (and 2 adorable dogs!). She talks about not being a people-pleaser (anymore), how pregnancy was pretty terrifying, and the ups and downs of being a working mom. Please help us welcome Jamie into our Mom of Fame, she definitely deserves it!

---

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

My name is Jamie, and I’m a new mom to my son, Max, who is 6 months old! I live in Oakland Township with my husband, Chad. I’m also a pharmacist and dog mom to two sweet goldendoodles, Maddie and Chloe. 

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

“Do what’s right for your family, not what others think you should do.”

I am a people pleaser so this can be difficult for me. Sometimes the best decisions for our family may not make others happy, and I need to accept that.

Also, what is best for another child or family may not be what is best for my own. It is easy to get caught up in comparing which isn’t healthy or productive.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

People are quick to tell you the negatives of parenthood, and I think I had a skewed view of what our new lives would look like due to this. When pregnant, I constantly had people telling me to sleep while I still could and to enjoy my freedom while it lasted. Since Max was born, I still sleep (though some nights not as much as I would like!) and don’t feel like I have lost all my freedom. Any challenges pale in comparison to the overwhelming amount of love and joy our son has brought us. It has been a much more natural, joyous transformation to motherhood than I imagined.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Patience, empathy, and love.

Describe a time when you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Pregnancy was overwhelming and at times, completely terrifying, for me. Our journey to have a baby was difficult. As my pregnancy with Max progressed, I felt more secure but can’t say I ever relaxed until he was born healthy. We are blessed in that Max is generally a very calm, happy baby without any health issues thus far. I can’t say I’ve been too overwhelmed since his birth (at least so far!).

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

It is harder to find time for myself, such as working out or getting pedicures. I feel guilty not spending time with my son when I’m not working, and I also try to clean and do laundry when he’s sleeping. I have gained the most precious baby boy, and the love and joy he has brought to my life is indescribable.

What do you want your child to learn from you?

I hope Max learns kindness and love. I pray he grows up to be a kind, emotionally aware, humble adult who helps make the world a better place. 

How has your transition to being a working mom been? What has been the hardest part? What advice would you give to other moms going back to work after having a baby?

The transition of returning to work has been the most challenging part of motherhood so far. Thankfully, I have a career I love which helps tremendously. The hardest part of working has, of course, been leaving my son. I rarely left my son during my 14 weeks on maternity leave. My husband encouraged me to get out of the house when he was home from work, because it can be isolating to be home all day by yourself with a newborn. Besides those short trips, though, I never left Max. The thought of leaving him with anyone else caused me (and honestly still causes me) so much anxiety. 

The weeks leading up to my return to work were difficult. I struggle with relinquishing control, so the thought of being away from him and me not being there to comfort him when he cried was gut wrenching. My husband took a week and a half off with him before he started daycare, which helped ease the transition. I still felt emotionally and physically drained from being away from him. The first day of daycare was a hard day – I burst into tears as soon as I walked into the building. Thankfully his teachers all were very understanding and made things easier by sending smiling pictures. 

Besides the difficult transition those early days and missing Max, returning to work has had positives for all of us. Staying home with a baby can be lonely (especially a winter baby), and I felt more like myself once I got into a routine and returned to work. I make sure to make the most of time with him when I’m home and on my days off. My husband cares for Max by himself some nights and every other weekend while I’m working. I tend to take over when I’m home, so having this one on one bonding time has been great for the two of them. I have seen an increase in my husband’s confidence when it comes to parenting, and Max lights up whenever he is around my husband. It has also been healthy for our relationship to fairly equally share in both caring for Max and having careers. 

People are quick to judge how you choose to raise your child. I have gotten judgement, questions (even from total strangers), and opinions on if I “have to” work full time and especially about using daycare. I don’t know that I will always work full time, but it is the right decision for our family now. We chose to use daycare to give our family consistency, reliability, social interaction for Max, and learning opportunities. This decision was not well received by all our family, and everyone seems to have an opinion. I remember someone telling me prior to even being pregnant with Max that my priorities would change once I had a baby and that I would have to quit my job. My priorities have never changed – I desperately wanted to have a child. Max has been and always will be my top priority, regardless of whether or not I work. I’ve been thrilled to see him thrive at daycare the 3-4 days a week he is there.

We are all doing what we think is best for our families and children, and I wish people weren’t so quick to judge. We can all be the perfect moms for our babies whether we work part or full time, stay at home, use grandparents for childcare, have a nanny, or use daycare! 

My advice for a mom returning to work after having a baby is to give yourself grace. I am sure I looked quite disheveled those early weeks after returning to work as I was trying to figure out how to balance everything and get a morning routine down. I was completely exhausted (and still am some days) from working full time, pumping milk, caring for Max, cleaning bottles and pump parts at night, trying to clean and do laundry, and often waking up multiple times each night with Max. Everything gets easier with time and an adjustment period. Always keep in mind that you can be an amazing mom whether you work full time or stay home!

Mom of Fame – Kelly : Single Mom, Boy Mom, Super Mom

We are so lucky to have this continually growing group of moms that are willing to share their stories and experiences with us. Next up on the Mom of Fame is Kelly. She is a single mother of one awesome *almost* 12 year old boy. She talks motherhood, raising a son on her own and the humor that comes with being a #boymom.

Please welcome her to the mom of fame!

---

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

My name is Kelly and I am a single mother of an amazing almost 12-year-old boy, Dylan. We are settled in Michigan with our dog Ryder and have been here for almost 8 years.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I would say that the best piece of advice anyone ever gave me was to offer a bottle right away even though I was breastfeeding. Many people are so quick to judge what is best (breastfeeding or bottle feeding) and so for me when I was able to do both, it gave me a sense of relief and freedom. I primarily breastfed up until 8 months however, there were times I was sick and needed to be on antibiotics that I could not breastfeed, so I was thankful Dylan was already used to a bottle when he needed it. It was also nice to be able to pump and have him get used to someone else feeding him.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

No one could have prepared me for motherhood. It is so much more (the good and the bad) than I could have ever imagined. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

3 supermom powers that I have are:

The ability to raise my son to be a good human being
The grace to be able to find humor in almost every situation
Perseverance (it has been challenging raising a son on my own)

Describe a time when you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I had to laugh at “describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother”…. EVERY DAMN DAY came to mind!

If I had to choose one moment that stands out it would be when my son was 7 months old and we flew to Washington State from Michigan and were waiting for his father to return home from Iraq. We didn’t have housing yet so we were staying in a hotel room. I had help picking up our truck that had been in storage so we had a vehicle. My son ended up with Pneumonia and so did I along with mastitis. When I went to take us to the doctors, the truck had died. So I had a sick baby, no transportation and no help. We finally ended up taking a taxi (yes it was before Uber was a thing) to the hospital. When we finally got home with our antibiotics, all he wanted to do was nurse however I couldn’t. I remember crying sitting on the bathroom floor thinking “how am I going to get through this”! After hours of crying on both of our ends, he took a bottle and we were both able to sleep. A team mate of his fathers came and fixed the truck so we were no longer stranded and his father returned home a few days later from deployment.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I lost a lot of myself becoming a mom. For a long time I forgot who I was and what I liked to do because all of that energy is put into raising another human. At some point that changed and I was able to become a better version of who I was before I was a mom. I have gained so much being a mom! I have gained patience, grace, tenacity, and honestly a life long best friend. My son is a missing piece to my life that I never knew even existed.

What do you want your child to learn from you?

I want my son to learn how to love people, and love big! To me, raising someone with good values who makes a difference in the lives of those around him is what is important to me. I want him to see that anything is possible and that as cliche as it is “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”!

You are a boy mom! You and your son seem to have such a wonderful relationship. For other moms that are raising boys – What would you say is your number one piece of advice for having such a close relationship with your son is?

I love being a mom of a boy. And honestly, I cried when I found out he wasn’t going to be a girl! Now, I couldn’t imagine it any other way. He is my best buddy, he brings me water when I am sick, is my biggest fan, loves life, and is just an overall good person. To moms who are raising boys, I would say, raise boys who are well rounded and teach them it is OK to have feelings. We are raising men who will one day hopefully be a partner to someone else, and will need to be loving and strong. And get ready to learn more than you will ever want to know about boogers, farts, poop, sports, dirt, and so much more!

Mom of Fame – Ashley

Don’t you love social media? We do! You connect with so many different people throughout your life and find the things that you have in common and that unite you as people – in this case, moms.

Lisa went to school with Scott and Scott married Ashley. Recently Lisa and Ashley connected via Instagram cause they were having babies at the same time! Got that?! We love how this whole social media thing works!

Ashley recently went from being a full time working mama of one to a stay at home mama of two. We were curious to hear her thoughts and she happily obliged. She is honest and we love that here at Momfaming.

Please welcome Ashley into our Mom of Fame!

---

Tell us about yourself and family!

I’m Ashley and I’ve been married to Scott for 9 years this July (woah!). We recently had our second child, Grayson, who is now 16 weeks old. He has an older sister, Ellie, who is just over 2 years old. We also have a large dog, Tugg, who is our biggest baby and a large fluffy cat, Puffin, who loves all the attention Ellie gives him! I recently quit my job as a research coordinator for a large multi-site concussion study to be a stay at home mom; I’m incredibly grateful to Scott for working to support us all and so lucky to have this opportunity! We are still trying to find our groove but we’re learning to embrace the craziness!

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

My husband was recently told “the days are long, but the years are short” and that really resonates with me at this point in my life. When Ellie came to the hospital to meet her new brother, I literally couldn’t believe how grown up she looked. I don’t know where 2 years went! And now that I’m a SAHM, some days are LONG but I know there will come a day that I wish for the days when I had two babies still. I’m trying to savor every happy moment, take deep breaths in the not so fun moments, and repeat this saying throughout. I will definitely pass this along to other parents!

I’m trying to savor every happy moment, take deep breaths in the not so fun moments, and repeat this saying throughout. I will definitely pass this along to other parents!

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

It’s SO much harder than I imagined it would be. In a good way, most days, but I could never have imagined the emotional load it would carry. Having such extreme love and joy for these adorable tiny humans, but also frustration and annoyance when the same adorable tiny humans are being defiant, throwing a temper tantrum or crying inconsolably for an unknown reason – trying to keep cool in hopes of providing a good example for them is so much harder than I could have imagined!

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I think I’m a good listener – I really try to listen and engage with Ellie when she’s talking to me.

I’m present – I try not to be on my phone if I don’t have to, and involve Ellie in whatever I’m doing. We’ve been allowing a lot of screen time right now with how needy a baby is, but even then I regularly interrupt her to ask questions about what she’s watching or what she wants to do when we are done.

Lastly I’m affectionate – I want my kids to feel loved, so I make sure to say it and show it as often as I can!

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Nights where I have to put both kids to bed by myself are overwhelming right now. Grayson wants to nurse-sleep on me all evening, so trying to get Ellie to bed with him crying in the background has been really hard. It makes me short tempered with both her and Grayson and then I feel guilty after they’re asleep – it’s the worst.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I do feel a bit invisible these days – like I only exist to take care of the kids. But I feel like now I am better at appreciating the small things. I also used to be super independent, to a fault, and having kids is helping me realize that accepting help is not a weakness but a necessity 😉

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

It contradicts what I said before, but independence. I want my kids to be confident that they can tackle things on their own. That being said, I hope that my new found appreciation for help softens it a bit so they learn to be independent but accepting of help as well!

You recently went from working mom of one to stay at home mom of two. How has the transition been? What do you miss the most? What have you gained?

Oh man, I’m still trying to come to grips with this one. I wouldn’t change a thing but it has been so hard. I’ll try and put it into words, but it’s gonna be a lengthy description!

I have always worked, and I left a job that I truly loved and gave me a sense of accomplishment. I had reached a point, though, where I felt guilty every time Ellie would do something new and I’d realize that she learned it at daycare. I am SO grateful for her daycare center, we loved them and so did she, but the mom in me wanted to be the one helping her learn all of these new things. Most notably, we were having a snack one day after I had gotten home from work – something like cheerios or raisins, there were a lot of them out in front of her – and she counted to ten. TEN! I couldn’t believe it. So, in talking with my boss about maternity leave, we worked out that I’d come back part time. However, as my maternity leave came to an end, I just couldn’t imagine being away from both of them . I talked with my boss more about what my part time schedule might look like and we just couldn’t find an arrangement that worked for both the job and my family. I should note publicly that I have… had… the best, most understanding boss in the world – another reason it was a really hard choice to leave. But ultimately, it made the most sense financially and emotionally for me to stay home!

What do I miss the most? Everything! Haha, but seriously. I miss having a quiet drive to and from work. I miss having adult conversations that have nothing to do with kids. I miss having clear solutions to problems. I miss having definable goals. I miss having an income. I miss my colleagues. I even miss my office. So, everything.

What have I gained?  Also everything! One of my colleagues sent me a very sweet email after I announced my departure, and it said “you are taking on a much harder but far more rewarding position, one that you and your family will benefit from.” I take such comfort in those words, and I already see the truth in them. Now I get to see all of the things Ellie is learning and I’m the one who she can come to when she needs me. I’ll be here when Grayson rolls over for the first time, when he says his first word, when he takes his first steps.

I am so lucky, even though it’s easy to forget during times of frustration and sometimes I do question whether or not I made the right choice quitting my job. I also know that not every mom has the option to quit her job to stay home. I’m incredibly fortunate to have a partner who supports us so I can be the one to raise our kids. So, to sum it all up, I’m still struggling a bit as I try to find our new normal, but we’ll get there and I know I won’t regret it in the end!