Moming through the Pandemic – Katie: Blogger and SAHM of Two

Our next ‘Moming through the Pandemic’ story is from Katie, a stay at home supermom. She was 6 months pregnant with a preschooler at home when everything started shutting down. She was also running a blog (Thrifty Wife Happy Life) in her “spare” time. No matter what the pandemic threw at her, though, she has stayed positive and is rocking this “chapter” of her life!

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Katie–we can all learn from your positivity!

Tell us about yourself and your family.

Hi I’m Katie! I am the mom of two, Jack (5) and Anna (8-months). My husband, Kevin, is an airline pilot and we live in Grand Rapids, MI. I worked as a preschool teacher until almost 2-years ago. We had been living in Las Vegas for over 4 years for my husband’s job, but when his company opened a base in Grand Rapids we felt that it only made sense that we move back to Michigan so we could be closer to our parents. Instead of looking for another preschool teacher job when we moved, we decided that it would be best for our family if I stayed home full time. 

On top of being a stay-at-home-mom, I also have a lifestyle blog called Thrifty Wife Happy Life. I started it years ago as a little side hobby to keep me busy while my husband was on over nights, but it’s become so much more than just a hobby. I share affordable fashion tips and also my journey through motherhood. It’s now become more than just an outlet for me, it’s turned into a little side job. 

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

At first it was a huge adjustment. Even though I was already a stay-at-home-mom, Jack was in preschool at a child care center full day. When we moved back to MI we decided it was best for Jack to keep him in school full time since that was what he was used to. His school closed in mid-March and he didn’t return until July.  That was a big change having him home all day with me and we couldn’t leave the house. He needs a lot of entertainment and he thrives on a schedule so it was a tough adjustment for us at first. 

I was also 6-months pregnant when the pandemic first started getting bad in the U.S. and things were scary for a while. I was so worried that my husband wouldn’t be with me in the delivery room or that I would test positive for Covid andmy baby might be taken from me while I had to quarantine. Luckily everything worked out and Anna’s birth went really smoothly. 

After Anna was born in June things seemed to be almost back to normal for a while. We did a lot of outdoor meet ups with family and went to the park, but then as the weather cooled off and Covid cases started to go back up things started to feel isolating again. 

The biggest change for us is just having no plans at all. We use to go out to eat every weekend or take Jack to the museum or a play place on the weekends. Now we just stay home every week. It seemed like we had a visitor at our house every other weekend, but now that’s rare and if people do come see us we are usually meeting them in the driveway with masks on. It’s just not the same. 

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

The one-on-one quality time we have been able to spend as a family is the best thing to come out of all of this. I spent almost 4 months day in and day out with my son and I realized that I had never done that before. Before that the longest amount of time we have had together was during my 7 week maternity leave. It’s been fun watching him grow and turn into a big brother.

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What is the hardest part about it?

The hardest part is not seeing our friends and family very much. Having a new baby and not being able to share her with others is tough. We moved to Michigan so our kids would grow up closer to their grandparents and here we are not being able to see them that often. I had envisioned never having to miss a holiday with family and being able to celebrate our kids birthdays with friends and family now that we live back in Michigan. Instead we have been home just the 4 of us for every holiday and birthday celebration. 

What have you learned about yourself during this time?

I’ve gained confidence as a mother during this time. I’ve always questioned my decisions as a mom and I suffer from mom guilt a lot, but this pandemic has changed that. Especially after having Anna. I feel like after all I’ve been through having 2 kids is nothing. I was so worried about adding another baby to our family during a pandemic. I was worried that I’d struggle without any help. I was worried that I would have postpartum depression and I’d be alone, but that hasn’t been the case. I felt really good after Anna was born. She completely turned my year around. Having her at this time has been my greatest blessing. She’s taught me a lot about myself. They both have. 

What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

My kids are so unphased by this whole thing. Obviously Anna doesn’t know anything else, but Jack has been so understanding of everything. You would think he would have been upset that we couldn’t go to the mall and play in the play area anymore. Or that  we can’t go stay at his grandparents house, but he’s been so positive about it all. He calls it the germs and he tells me all the time what his plans will be when the germs are gone. He doesn’t even mind that he has to wear a mask all day at school.

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Um everything! Lol! I’m really excited to be able to see our family again. Our parents live 2 hours away, but because we haven’t been able to stay over nights our visits with everyone have been very short. My sister-in-law who lives in California is dying to meet Anna so I’m hoping we can see them soon! I’m also hoping we can go on vacation soon! I miss traveling. 

Kevin and I are also dying for a date night out with just the 2 of us. We haven’t done that since before Anna was born. We’d love to go on a trip together to celebrate our 10th anniversary this summer, but we will see how things are at that point. I don’t think I’m ready to leave Anna too long yet. We’d be grateful for an hour without the kids 😂

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

Online grocery shopping!! I never used the online grocery store ordering apps before. I didn’t trust having other people pick out my produce. But after going to the grocery store during a pandemic with all the craziness, plus being 9-months pregnant at the time,  I decided to try it. Now I will always do my grocery shopping online. At least my big weekly grocery orders. It saves me so much time and I will definitely never bring both kids to the store with me again unless I’m really bored and just want a challenge. 😂😂

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Anything else you want to add?

I will just say that I think the best way to get through this time is to stay positive. Sometimes it’s hard, but I try my best to focus on the positive things in life. I think it’s important to focus on the things you can control in life, not what you can’t. This is only a chapter in our book, not the whole story!

Moming through the Pandemic – Stefanie: Freelance writer/mom of two

So being a mom during the pandemic is hard. Stay at home or working full time – it’s all hard. We are grateful to Stefanie, mom of two, taking time out of the insanity we are in to participate in ‘Moming through the Pandemic’. Her case is different as she has the added pressure of her husband being in a highly essential working environment. She has had to step up and help her daughters with virtual learning. Being both mother and teacher.

Thank you, Stefanie, for sharing your story!

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Tell us about yourself and your family.

I am a 35-year-old pop culture and polka dot enthusiast living in Okemos, Michigan. My husband Zack and I met at MSU. We have been married for 11 years, together for 16, and we have two daughters: Stella, almost 8, and Margot, 4. We also have two dogs, our almost 12-year-old rescue Zuzu and 1-year-old aussiedoodle, Fozzie. Zack is a Deputy Chief of Staff for Governor Whitmer, overseeing communications, and pre-pandemic I was freelance writing for my former office at MSU and other local publications.

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

Much like anyone else, everything changed for us. I still remember the night of the Michigan primary, when Zack got word of the first confirmed COVID cases in the state. He had to pack up and drive to the state’s emergency operations center that very night to prep and assist with a press conference. Those early weeks of uncertainty were truly insane. Zack was working every single day for hours on end. With the pandemic and the nature of Zack’s job, my main focuses have been to help my girls with virtual learning, keep us fed and sane, and coming up with quarantine activities. Writing has definitely taken a backseat, but I’m thankful that I have been able to keep things afloat at home.

What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

The “anything goes” mentality of quarantine life has really opened me up to trying so many new things, from recipes to crafts. We made bagels and soft pretzels. I got very into dalgona coffee, especially on summer afternoons. In very early quarantine, there was a lot of painting, and I started to make portraits of loved ones’ dogs. I tried rose gold Overtone on my hair, and just this past week let Stella try it, too. We tie-dyed so many shirts. We started a movie night tradition with Stella on Friday nights, giving us all something to look forward to at the end of the week. Even though we didn’t go trick or treating, I had a blast making Margot’s Branch the troll costume. In the late fall, I learned how to cross stitch and now enjoy making all sorts of projects. While I miss having a fuller calendar, there’s been something sort of freeing about not having the usual obligations each day. 

What is the hardest part about it?

Not being able to spend quality time with friends and family, of course. Summer felt like a bit of a reprieve from isolation with the cases lower and more opportunities to spend time outside. I have also missed having that precious *me* time that I used to have when both girls were at school, and date nights with my husband. Heck, even just the ease of being able to ask grandparents to babysit. I joke that there’s been a lot of togetherness this past year, but the outlets right now are few and far between. Also, some of the things I most look forward to are concerts and theatrical productions; not having the arts during this time is really tough. 

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What have you learned about yourself during this time?

 I learned to acknowledge and appreciate my value as a mom and partner during this time. When I left my job at MSU after having our second daughter, I had a difficult time embracing the idea that I was “just a mom,” even though that’s exactly what I wanted. When people asked what I did for a living, I’d often lead with the fact that I used to work for MSU and now I’m home with my girls. I worried about others’ expectations, especially when I know so many incredible moms who work full time. But during this pandemic, I know that I’ve been the glue at home. I’m sure I’ve always been, but it’s really been brought to light. Whether it’s getting up at 6am to go grocery shopping when it’s quieter at the store, coming up with art projects and ways to pass the time, learning how to groom our dogs during the first shutdown, or bringing my husband some lunch so he remembers to eat, my job is to keep us all going. I’ll often remark that I’m holding down the fort at home when people ask how I’m doing. I am learning that is enough.

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What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

How many snacks they can physically consume in a given day, haha. And also just how much they can’t live with or without each other. For so much of Margot’s life, her big sister was at school all day. This past year has been more togetherness than they’ve ever had. To now be at the ages where they can play together and have the same interests, there are some blissful moments where they run off and play nicely without constant supervision. Talk about a much-needed reprieve! But for the most part, the reality is there has had to be a lot of parental intervention and separation. 

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Travel! Eating at restaurants! Concerts! Spending time with friends and family over wine and good food! My husband surprised me at Christmas with a trip to Hawaii set for late summer. We’re obviously hopeful that things will be looking much better by then, even if not completely normal. The notion of that quality time together, exploring a new place and relaxing, is honestly carrying me through these tough winter months in Michigan.

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

 In addition to some of the new crafting activities I’ve learned, one thing that came out of quarantine was coming up with creative ways of meaningful connection with friends and family even at a distance. Whether it was swinging by someone’s house with beef stew leftovers, bringing a friend a chai tea, or carving out time for a Zoom and cocktails call, these small moments really brightened my days. I still love talking on the phone, so having long phone calls or FaceTime conversations kept me feeling connected to others. I hope that continues even as we start to return to regular schedules.

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Anything else you want to add?

As moms, we’re often told that we need to give ourselves and others grace, that being a mom is such a hard job. Still, I think we can’t help but look at what we’re doing, or what others are doing, with a critical eye. Then we were hit with the pandemic, and it felt like those early newborn days: overwhelming and exhausting, just trying to survive one day at a time. I think the pandemic helped us take a look around and mutually agree that we’re all just trying to do our best. Screen time and snack rules? Out the window. Wearing the same comfy pants three days in a row? Fantastic! Despite all of the restrictions we’ve faced over the last year, in some strange way the lowered expectations on us has been freeing. We’ve been able to realize what – and WHO – is really important. When things begin to return to our new normal, I think we’ll have an easier time getting rid of the things that do not serve us. Like wearing jeans at home.

Moming through the Pandemic – Lisa: Full time working mom of two

Wow. How does one even start something like this? For the last (almost) year we have been moming through a pandemic. Did you ever see something like this coming? Were you prepared for it? I wasn’t.

I remember when it first started in our town and the absolute fear that went through my mind. I learned to tame that fear a bit as the months went on, but it’s still there. Not being able to see friends or family or go out and about like we used to do is hard. It’s hard for everyone, but we do what we need to do to stay healthy and get back to normal (whatever that might be).

We wanted to hear from all the moms out there. How are you? What are you feeling? I know I am completely overwhelmed. In the next couple of weeks we are going to do a spin on our Mom of Fame. We are going to be asking you how it’s been Moming through the Pandemic.

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Tell us about yourself and your family.

Most of you already know that I am one part of the Momfaming duo. I have a five year old son and an almost two year old girl. I am a full-time working mom and the last year has been nothing short of challenging.

My kids are in daycare so that my husband and I can both work. Sometime in March the daycare closed down and didn’t reopen until July. Both of our works had us working from home (and we both still do). We managed to get work done and still keep our kids busy by the skin of our teeth. Want to know if you are a patient mom? Get thrown into a pandemic when you can’t leave your house. It tested the best of us.

How has life changed for you since quarantine began?

My priorities have changed 100%. My kids have, and always will, remain the top priority. My husband and work were, of course, up there too. The biggest thing that changed was how I viewed the space I was living in. I never cared so much about those sort of things prior. Our house was always cluttered and messy and it didn’t bother me (until I had people coming over).

Now that I work, live and spend almost 100% of my time in my house I care. I care SO much. Dishes can’t be left for the next day, vacuuming has to be done daily, clutter is getting thrown out or donated. I had to have a nice, clean, light workspace.

My house became my sanctuary and it needed to show itself as such.

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What is something positive that has come out of having to quarantine?

Watching my youngest turn from a baby to a toddler. Since Adam and I work full-time we miss a lot of moments in development. This is the hardest part of being a working mom. Going into an office and knowing that you are missing these precious fleeting moments with your kids.

The gap of time where we had the kids home with us Cece learned to say words, walk and came into her own little personality. It was a perfect time to, literally, watch her grow.

What is the hardest part about it?

I have to narrow this down to three things. I think we can all, obviously, state that the hardest thing about this pandemic is seeing how many people are losing their loved ones without being by their side. I cannot even imagine this scenario (even though we have had people very close to us get it – one is still recovering after months).

1. Not seeing family or friends. Right from the start Adam and I knew that we would be sticking to the rules and keeping our bubble incredibly small. At first it was no one. In the summer we would see a few family and friends outside. In the fall/winter we just saw grandparents.
2. Watching my son notice how different the world is. Ben and I had a standing date every single weekend. Whether it was going to a movie, out to lunch, a trip to the mall or a playdate with a friend. Him and I always have our own special time out of the house with each other. His favorite thing was to go to restaurants. He loved the whole act of it. Picking where to go, where we would be sitting, what he would get to drink/eat and watching people (and playing Pokémon Go).
3. Being the best mom and employee at the same time. For four months we were juggling working full-time while also being a full-time mom. Luckily, Adam and I were both at home and shared the responsibility. You had to move from one thing to another seamlessly and it was ROUGH. The kids needed attention, but so did work. It took some time, but Adam and I figured it out and tried to rock it out.

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What have you learned about yourself during this time?

Beside having a lot more patience then I thought I had?!

I learned self-confidence. I am not sure why it took a pandemic to make me see it, but I found out that I am a really good mom. There are still days that I don’t feel that way, but looking at the last year I know that I kicked ass and that I make it all work.

My kids got a lot of screen time, but they also got SO much more love, attention and play-time than they ever thought possible.

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What surprised you the most about your child(ren) during this time?

How adaptive they can be. Things changed and things changed almost overnight. They went from seeing friends and family every single weekend to just mom and dad. They went from going to daycare and being occupied all day to independently playing.

Every time something changed they rolled with it. They didn’t freak out, they didn’t cry (maybe I did a little) and they didn’t complain.

What are you most looking forward to doing once life gets back to ‘normal’?

Oh, man. I miss SO much. I am so looking forward to planning a big ten year trip with Adam. I am looking forward to spending more time with my nieces (and nephew – when he can come from Cali!). I am SO looking forward to going out and grabbing a drink with my friends.

They say you don’t miss it until it’s gone and boy are they right. These minor things in life that you use to take for granted have a whole new meaning now. I guess that’s something I’ve learned as well. To live a simpler life and to be forever grateful for what we have.

What is something you began doing during quarantine that you will continue to do (or hope to) once it’s over? Why?

I have really enjoyed working from home. I didn’t think I would at the start, but now I really think I flourish in my work space. I got myself a desk and a beautiful set-up. I am able to work longer hours without sacrificing my family. It’s really a great work/home/family balance and I hope that I can continue doing so.

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Anything else you want to add?

I feel like quarantine with your kids and spouse could really go one of two ways and that there would be no in-between. We had the best days, we had good days, we had bad days and we had the worst days. It was really one of those in-between scenarios.

The BEST days outweighed the worst days by far. We became an incredibly close family that started understanding each other so much more. Day in and day out with the same people will do that. You know when to back off and when to lean in.

It’s been a very crazy last year, but I am forever grateful for the ones I am quarantining with.

Mom of Fame – Leah: Loving Mother, Devoted Daughter & Life-Long Learner

All images courtesy of Geraldine Ralph Photography

Last month we had a crazy idea to work with Geraldine Ralph Photography and give away a mini session to one person and their best friend. We got a great response and the lucky winner was Leah!

Instead of bringing a traditional best friend; Leah brought her mom. In Leah’s words, ‘she truly is my bestie – we are very close and she was the Matron of Honor in my wedding’!

How could we say no?! This was such a special opportunity to talk to a mother and daughter duo. We could tell from the first minute of meeting Leah that she is an amazing mother. She traveled over an hour with her daughter, Aviana, and looked completely put together (coming from swim class).

We had a wonderful time talking with her and her mother and plan to stay in touch for the foreseeable future! Welcome Leah to the Mom of Fame!

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Tell us about yourself and your family!

I am Leah and I work in communications. I am 34 and I live in the Lansing area with my daughter, Aviana who is 4, and my husband, Jesse. I’m working on campus right now at Michigan State University doing communications and marketing for culinary services; which includes all of the dining on campus. I haven’t always been there but it was good to come back to my Alma Mater and work there. My husband works in communications, as well, in the Department of Transportation in downtown Lansing. We have two cats; [my daughter] keeps them busy, but they’re not very fond of her! One other thing that is nice is that [my daughter] has a lot of close cousins that are around her age.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

What came to my mind most, and is something that has continued throughout [parenting] was that every child is different. Especially as you are going through things like potty training and trying to get them to sleep through the night (we didn’t have any trouble with that, thankfully, she was sleeping through the night at about 2 months old!) When you’re going through any of that stuff I think you just have to realize that every kid is going to be different; they’re all going to catch on at a different time and they’re all going to get there eventually.

I didn’t always abide by that myself; especially with potty training because it took her a really long time to really get interested in it at all. And it took her a while to get to that point. We had a pretty bad incident–we were at a park and she just went and did not have a diaper on. We went to try to use the bathrooms and they were locked! So we had to change her outside and it was just a disaster. I think it freaked her out enough that it just sort of clicked with her all of a sudden and from there on out she was a lot better with it.

Yeah [I would give that advice to someone else] especially knowing that I didn’t always follow that. It’s very easy to just quickly jump to getting frustrated about it or worrying about it too much. And it can apply to so many different things like learning how to walk; and you compare your kid to other peoples kids.

How is motherhood different than you expected it to be?

I think I knew that it was going to be [emotional], obviously your emotions change a lot, but I didn’t realize that you were going to see so much of both ends of the spectrum. Like, you love them a lot, obviously. You have that extreme love part of it, but then you also have the other side. You obviously get frustrated at moments–I think my husband does more so than I do, but you definitely have your moments where you get frustrated. There have been times, too, where one of us has had to have the other one walk out of the room to just go take a minute and then come back. I think I realized that it was going to be that way but probably not to the level that it is.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

The first one I would say is definitely communication. Because we both work in communication I think that has helped a lot. Her language development, I’ve noticed, has been a little bit faster than some of the kids in her class. And just in general she knows big words and she can use them the right way most of the time, which kind of surprises us sometimes. And also just making sure that she knows the right meaning of a word. When we realize she uses it the wrong way we just try to explain it to her a little better; use an example so that she understands more what it means.

Definitely patience. You’re put in a lot of situations, like I mentioned before, where it’s easy to get frustrated. So you just have to be [calm]. And my husband is a bit of a big kid himself. The two of them team up sometimes, and it’s all in good fun, but they poke fun at me a little bit, and I just have to roll with it.

The third one I would say is organization. I pretty much have to keep organized to stay on track. I mean I have always been that way; with work too. So keeping track of all of the activities and whatever they have going on at her daycare. They have a lot of different “Spirit Weeks” and Parent-Teacher Conferences. And I mention “Spirit Week” because I recently forgot something and she wouldn’t let me live it down that I didn’t know that it was “Princess Day”. I didn’t drop her off that morning but she got to daycare and her really good friend was wearing an Elsa dress. After Halloween I went to Target and found princess dresses that were on clearance for her to wear next time!

Describe a time when you were completely overwhelmed as a mom.

I had a really hard time with this question because I could come up with a lot. What stood out the most to me was the first few weeks; even just the time being at the hospital and the time being home after that. I think what made it the most hard was that I had to be away from [my daughter] so quickly because I ended up back in the hospital the next day. Thankfully [my mom] was at our house at the time. My husband had to take me back to the hospital because I had a prolapsed uterus. It was not fun to have to leave your baby right away but I was thankful that [my mom] was around.

And during that first few weeks, too, I had tried really hard to nurse, but I had a really hard time. I ended up with very little milk supply; if any. So just trying to do that for as long as I could but then realized that it wasn’t going to work out how I wanted it to. What I would share with other moms is you kinda have to go in to that whole experience knowing that even though you have a plan, it’s probably going to change. You think it’s going to go one way and it’s probably not going to go that way. And you just have to jump in!

Is there anything you feel you have lost since becoming a mother? What have you gained? 

I think to a certain degree, obviously, all parents lose a little bit of independence. It’s very very rare that I have a moment where I have the house to myself. Actually, recently my husband took [my daughter] up north to visit his family for a whole weekend. And I was like “I can’t remember the last time this happened”; but at the same time you feel so weird because you don’t want to be away from them. Like you enjoy that time a lot, but when they are gone you feel a little bit lost, too, and aren’t sure what to do with yourself.

I didn’t mention it before when I was talking about our family but I started a Master’s program over the summer. It’s completely online, so it’s a little more flexible, but now I feel like anytime I do get to myself I have to do my reading or do my homework. So it’s not quite the same! But at least in two weeks I’ll be done with the semester and take a moment.

I gained a little version of myself (haha). Everyone tells me that I look so much like her and if you look at pictures from when I was a baby I look just like her. There’s actually a picture [of me] hanging on our fridge at home that she took from my mom’s house and she thinks its her. I love seeing my husband interact with her, too, because they kind of have their own bond. And, like I said he’s somewhat of a little kid himself, so it’s funny to listen to them. Even if I’m in my room getting ready for the day I try to listen downstairs as I hear them interacting with each other.

What do you want your child to learn from you?

I definitely want her to learn to be kind and confident. One of the things I’ve learned just as part of my job–I have to respond to customers and most of those customers are [college] students–so you kind of have to put yourself in their position and really just try to envision how you would want that person to feel.

One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou and it’s “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel”. I try to keep that in mind, even if I think the person’s situation is the most ridiculous thing.

I also want her to never stop learning. There are always different things to explore and being curious about things is definitely not a bad thing. That’s a lot of the reason why I went back to school; to keep learning new things.

What do you admire most about your mom?

What I admire most about her is her drive and dedication. And that can apply to being a grandma as well, especially when you have so many grandchildren. Anytime that we have all been together it’s fun to see the kids together but they always gravitate towards her.

And going back to the never stop learning piece…after she retired she went on to continue doing things that helped her gain more experience and more skills. So she went on to be a certified yoga instructor and now she’s also a certified personal trainer. So just continuing to have that passion for something.

 

Mom of Fame – Maureen: Three Different Births (Born Silent, Born by Induction, Born Naturally)

We love how willing moms are to opening up their hearts (and lives) to other moms. Honestly, there is no greater tribe then that of motherhood.

Maureen is mom to three. Two adorable little boys and one girl who was born silent. She writes with such open honesty that we were just hanging on every word. She talks about ‘maiden self’ (which we didn’t know anything about) and how each one of her births were so different.

She is the type of mom that you would want to go for any kind of advice and she’s the type of PERSON that would be willing to sit down with you and help. She deserves the title of Mom of Fame. Please welcome her and read her story below.

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Tell us about yourself and family!

About me, I recently figured out that the common thread of my interests, passions, work experiences, conversations with others, and observations of communities/individuals has always related to well-being. Which MOMFAMING is a great example of supporting the well-being of mommas through connecting, supporting, and seeing mommas!

My husband, Michael, and I are journeying through almost 11 years of marriage. Marriage is such a journey! Am I right mommas?! He is the kindest man I know and I am grateful to walk with him through the mountains, flatlands, and valleys life throws all humans. I don’t always love those valleys but I am recently embracing them differently and trusting they pass. I am growing a new appreciation for them because they bring such gratitude to feelings of joy and the experience of being alive! I am so glad to do life with him.

We have two boys. Lars who is 5 years old and Lennox who is 5 months old! We also had a daughter (Hadley) who died, stillborn at 9 months of pregnancy. She was our first born and it was a healthy pregnancy. After an autopsy and genetic testing we never were able to figure out what happened.

Lars, our five year old is fun, independent-minded, joyful, and sweet. Lennox, our five month old is such a smiley and happy guy. His entire body smiles when he smiles and we are just soaking it all in. I keep saying I feel like a Grandma. Since there is a decent space between their ages (five years) I think I appreciate the moments so differently.

We have moved around quite a bit since having our children. We have lived in Kansas, Michigan, and California. We recently moved back to Michigan from San Diego, CA! We are both from Michigan so are loving being with family.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

At a very deep level you know what to do, what you need, and what they need. The important work is to eliminate the noise from society of what it should look like and be aware of how our own ego/past experiences impact us. As that noise quiets down, that deeper knowing emerges and you can tune into that and work from that space. I didn’t receive this advice until our third but I fully embraced the advice and guidance. I would totally give that piece of advice to someone else.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

It demands more than I thought. I didn’t think about all your body really goes through to create, carry, birth, then nourish a baby. That is a lot and it demands the time and space for all of that to happen. It really does require you to care for yourself at a different level than I thought so you can show up for yourself, your partner, and the kiddos.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I care deeply about my boys growing up with an emotional vocabulary and learning how to be comfortable in ALL of their emotions. I am still learning for myself how to do that but care about them building those muscles to navigate that process.

I smile a lot at them, find joy in little things, and love them deeply.

I am putting myself first, husband second, and them third. They need a momma that loves all of herself, loves their daddy, and loves the heck out of them. Also, something I am still working on daily because so much in our society tells us to put kids first and other things after. AND kids just need things all the time, like help opening a banana, or to nurse, or to change a diaper, or to play games! Ha!

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Four weeks postpartum with our first born son. I started having “weird thoughts” that now I have learned were completely normal for new moms and are called intrusive thoughts. From what I have learned, our bodies are intuitive and are in a mode to be aware and protect our babies. Most new moms experience intrusive thoughts in one form or another. For example with our third child, after he was born, I vividly thought about the possibility of me or someone else dropping him while going down the stairs. The thought came into my mind very often, where before I would have been worried. By reframing and understanding things differently, I gently thanked my body and mind for tuning in and reminding me to take it slowly going down the stairs and to be more cautious while others held him. Many mothers stay silent in shame. If you are reading this and experienced this as well, know you are normal. I would encourage you to get to a momma’s group or talk to a doctor. I plugged myself into Honey: A Space for Mom’s in Ferndale, MI after having our third child. That is where I realized I was totally normal and felt supported!

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

No. I think I have just evolved. It took me a long time (5 years) to fully open myself up to the vastness that is motherhood. While pregnant with our second son, my prenatal yoga teacher talked about grieving your maiden self (yourself before kids). I realized, right when she said it, that I still had not allowed myself to grieve and close that chapter and fully welcome in motherhood. After allowing myself to grieve my maiden self I felt a massive shift towards opening myself fully up to being a mom. I loved my son (and daughter) so much AND at a deep level didn’t quite feel like motherhood fit me. After that process I felt like I opened myself up to the vastness of the role as a parent/mother. Now I feel that motherhood fits perfectly. I am so grateful to experience it and I am grateful to get to feel that. It was always hard to feel like for some women it just perfectly clicked for them.

In terms of what I have gained from becoming a mother; empathy and humility. Loads of empathy and loads of humility. DAILY! And such fun and beautiful moments with them. I feel most alive and whole seeing them smile, laugh, and experiencing the simplest of things.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I just want them to feel loved from their momma. They will learn so many things from so many people and experiences in life. I hope they will know they are loved and I hope they are kind to others and themselves.

We know that no two births are the same. Can you tell us the differences between your births?

We have had three births. Our first was different in the sense that our daughter died and I delivered her stillborn. We went to the hospital because I didn’t feel movement and she didn’t have a heartbeat. I immediately went from wanting to try a natural birth with no epidural to not wanting to feel any of it. I think I just didn’t want to feel that massiveness of what was happening. Although it would seem horrible, which of course it was, it was also such a beautiful time and birth because that was our time with her. We were in Kansas and I got an epidural early on so really didn’t feel much physical pain. Just the pressure while pushing. My husband and best friend were in the room for the entire labor. We experienced every emotion during that labor. About one hour before Hadley was born my childhood best friend showed up and was there for delivery. We held her for a while that night then spent time with her the next day before saying goodbye. I often get asked what would be a helpful gift to give someone if someone you know experiences a stillbirth. They Were Still Born: Personal Stories About Stillbirth by Janel C. Atlas. It was THE most helpful thing early on in grieving. It has so many stories from other women and their experiences of stillbirth.

Our second birth, of our son Lars, was such a different experience. We hired a doula knowing we needed and wanted support. We delivered him vaginally, with full Pitocin and no epidural at 38 weeks. We chose to induce early because we didn’t know why Hadley had died and so the doctors suggested doing it. Our doula walked us through the entire birth, advocated for what we needed, and really guided me and my husband through the entire birth. And when Lars came out it was such an unbelievable moment to experience him. Our room was dark most of the time, our doula brought essential oils, and my husband was the best DJ ever. I still say some of his song selections and timing is what got me through. I will never forget seeing Lars with his eyes wide open and feeling him in my arms.

Our third birth, was really a culmination of learning from our birthing experiences with Hadley and Lars. We took a birthing class from an unbelievable woman in San Diego who was also my prenatal yoga instructor. Through that process, my husband and I got to a point that we were very confident in knowing what we wanted, felt equipped with birthing positions, felt we could advocate for what we wanted during the labor process given whatever curve-balls may come our way, and felt much more open to letting the birth be whatever it was that showed up. We delivered at the Karmanos Natural Birthing Center in Royal Oak, MI. We were fully open to getting epidural or not forcing a natural birth if I changed my mind during labor. I ended up delivering vaginally with no epidural (and no Pitocin needed this time). Michael and I fully did that birth together. We were basically on our own with very minimal monitoring. Of course our midwife popped in once in a while along with our nurse, but we just got to intimately deliver our third baby together. AND our nurse massaged the heck out of my lower back for some of it like a boss! Our lactation consultant told me about the breast crawl and that they didn’t need to take baby right away to do all the measurements and things they routinely do right after if the baby looked okay. So they left Lennox right on me in in my arms. We left the vernix on until we left the hospital two days later (I like staying for as long as I can). We left Lennox on for the breast crawl that took about an hour and a half until he crawled up and latched on. I am beyond grateful learning about this from our lactation consultant. It was a complete game changer. He was calm during the entire process and it was such a calming/bonding experience for us.

Photo by Kelly Stork Photography

Mom of Fame – Angela: Rainbows after the Storm

Angie is the mom of two adorable kiddos (she had two under two!). One boy and one girl. She advises that no matter what season you are in with your children or marriage that you should always work as a team and we could not agree more!

She has a great appreciation of her friends and family and stresses the importance of taking help.

We want to recognize all the mothers we possibly can and Angie is another great addition to our Mom of Fame!

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Tell us about yourself and family!

I am 34 years old( which I can literally never remember … like ever. I had to do the math AGAIN this time!).

I live in South Lyon with my husband Jr, puppy Miggy, and two kids, Grayson Martin (19 months old) & Piper Josephine (two months.) We had two miscarriages before God finally blessed us with our rainbow baby and we haven’t looked back since.

19 months later we’re a family of 4 navigating this crazy life together!

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I was given a lot of good advice and have continued to get it every day!

One piece of advice I would pass on would be to accept help! I’ve never been good at asking for help and always want to do everything on my own. When people offer help, they want to help! Take it because it won’t always be there.

I’m not sure if someone told me this, but another piece of advice I would pass along would be that no matter what phase the kids (or your marriage when having kids) is going through, it will pass, you just need to work as a team!

First its the 4-5 wake ups with the newborn and learning together how to nurse. Then came sleep training which was hard, but we got through it! Next up was the first (of many) sleep regressions *which felt impossible at the time*. But, they don’t last for ever!

Followed up with teething and temper tantrums (these were a little bit of a longer phase) but we got through them just in time for another sleep regression.

I’ve learned to just take a deep breath, smile, and think of how blessed we are that THESE are the big problems in our life, and as long as we work together, we’re going to get through them!

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Shockingly, its not much different at all.

I was one of the last of my friends to have a baby and I had pretty amazing role models to fill me in before I became a mommy. The main thing that is different would just be how little time I have for myself. I knew I would have less time, but a lot of days it feels like I have none! Some days it is hard because all I want to do is get a work out in, or get my nails done but at the end of the day, I know this is just a phase and soon I’ll find more time for myself.

For the time being, I’m going to enjoy these kiddos while they are young!

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Balance | Patience | Rules/Boundaries

It has taken some time, but I’ve learned that I can’t do everything, so I need balance- and I have really grown in this area.

I have also been sure to try and have more patience, specifically with my son and husband. I find myself going a million miles a minute and doing 3-4 things at a time, then being short with my family. I’ve tried really hard to not do that and balance things out by realizing the order of importance.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I get overwhelmed when I try to do EVERYTHING.

I am used to working, coaching, keeping the house clean, working out, playing volleyball, maintaining friendships and working on my marriage… but when you add two babies in the mix, something has to give.

The babies obviously come first, and that means the other areas have all been slacking at some point or another. It’s overwhelming to me that I’m not able to keep up on everything but I have some pretty amazing friends that ground me and remind me to soak in these moments with the kids because I’m going to blink and its all going to be gone!

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I know it may seem cliche but I really don’t think I have lost anything (besides TIME!). From a young age I knew I wanted to have a family and be a mother.

I can say that I have gained a new level of respect for all mothers out there. I’ve heard people say it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world and I’d have to agree. However, I have gained strength that I didn’t know I was lacking, and patience that I need on a daily basis.

I have also gained an even grater sense of time management and have learned to cut myself a little slack. If I don’t get that work out in, or the laundry done, or dishwasher unloaded it will always be there tomorrow.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I want them to learn to be strong, kind, independent, and caring people.

I want them to learn not to give up when things get tough, and that it’s OK to try something new and fail, but to try again.

What was more difficult for you? Going from no kids to one kid or one kid to two kids? Why? What were some of the challenges with both?

I think they are difficult for different reasons.

The hardest thing for me is feeling like I’m not being a good mother if I don’t get EVERYTHING done.

When I had Grayson it took me a while to get to a place where I felt like I had it all “under control” and was juggling everything well. Then I had Piper and TWO under TWO took a lot more attention!

I’ve been very blessed with two “easy babies” and an amazing husband, as well as a tribe of not only family, but friends!

Mom of Fame – Amy: The Gift of a Down Syndrome Diagnosis

When I first learned that my son, Ryan, had Down syndrome Lisa suggested I follow @uplifeofemmyjoy on instagram. I checked her out and I’m so glad I did! Each day Amy posts videos and pictures of her adorable Emmy, who has Down syndrome. She made me understand how lucky I was to have Ryan and I loved watching Emmy, and now her son Reese live their day to day life!

When we reached out to Amy we were so excited that she agreed to share her experience with us since  was such an integral part of my transition to being a mom of a baby with Down syndrome. She shares her struggle getting pregnant, why being a stay at home mom is NOT boring, and how Down syndrome is a gift. Please read her amazing words and help us welcome her into the Hall of Fame, where she obviously belongs!

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Meet my family.

We are Chris, Amy, Emerson aka Emmy, Reese and our dog Ozzie.

Chris and I have been married for 8 years. We always knew we wanted kids and after saving a little money the first two years of marriage we decided to start our family.

We never anticipated the struggle.

It took 3 years and a lot of medical interventions for me to finally get pregnant with our first baby, Emmy. She has been such a gift to our family. She is such a bright light. 2.5 years later her little brother Reese miraculously joined our family with absolutely no medical help whatsoever. We live in Southern California along with our entire extended family. I stay home with the kids and Chris works for a home builder.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I don’t remember what advice I was given besides, it goes so fast so enjoy every moment. I really do try my best to soak it all in and yes, I think everyone should follow that advice.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

It’s much busier than I imagined. I was told I’d feel lonely and bored as a stay at home mom but when your first born goes to therapy neither of those are true. I have a huge support group of friends and I’m never ever bored. We are a very busy little family.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I have come to realize that my biggest strength is patience. I knew I was patient in my teacher days and I’m even more so when it comes to my kids.

2. I have thick skin which is a major asset when raising a child who is differently abled.

3. I have great confidence in my abilities to love my children and to stand up for when they deserve and need.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

I felt overwhelmed the first few weeks after my new baby was born. I had a very rough c section delivery, we were struggling with nursing and I wasn’t healed enough to fully care for my kids on my own. I was use to doing it all myself and needing others to help A LOT was overwhelming.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

Every stay at home mom looses their freedom to a certain extent. I can never go anywhere or do anything without making plans for someone to watch the kids or taking them with me. I’ve gained my purpose. I love being their mom and I love being an advocate for the special needs community. I wouldn’t trade what I’ve gained for the world.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

I want them to learn everything but mostly I want my children to learn to be kind, independent and loving individuals that make a positive impact on the world.

Since it is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, what is the most important thing you want people to know about Down syndrome or about being a mom to a child with Down syndrome?

Down syndrome is a gift.

It’s not scary and if you get to be a part of someone’s life with Down syndrome you are lucky. Parts of this journey are hard but it’s mostly so beautiful. I wouldn’t change one hair on my daughter’s head.

I want for her what every parent wants for their child and in a world that doesn’t fully understand disabilities we will work harder and shout louder for her to be seen as the valuable human she is.

In order to help spread the truth and joy that Down syndrome is we need all of you to join us in shouting the worth of these beautiful humans.

Mom of Fame – Brooke: Girl Mom of a Toddler & a Teenager

Brooke is another amazing mom that we are lucky enough to add to our Mom of Fame. She is a *girl mom* of a toddler and a teenager (and she is still alive to talk about it!) She tells us about the overwhelming moment that finally made her ask for help, what losing her sister at a young age taught her and how becoming a mom made her love herself more than ever. Please show Brooke some momfaming love!

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Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

I am a Health, Wellness and Life Coach. My husband is a therapist, we live in Rochester Hills and have 2 Daughters Gabriella (14) and Paisley (4).  My husband and I love to spend our free time with the kids, either going to the park, to the local hot spots or travelling up north. Gabriella plays Club travel volleyball and that takes up a lot of our time as a family traveling to support her at her tournaments. We enjoy family game night and Friday Pizza nights. Our youngest is obsessed with dance and we enjoy watching her nurture and develop that. We try to have a date night twice a month so that we stay connected, because if we are in sync everything else sort of falls into place. We are just your typical family of girls, all things pink.  We really try to have fun as a family and laugh as much as possible.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

The best piece of advice I was given about motherhood was to be like water and go with the flow [and to] remember to enjoy the little moments because in the end those are the biggest moments.

I continue to take this advice, I’m not perfect at it but having kids whose ages are farther apart I see the value in it.

I give this advice to any mom who asks for it.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Motherhood is a thousand percent different than I imagined it. I think when you are pregnant with your first you sort of start planning things out and imagining how they will look. Then when baby comes it’s like WOAH, this isn’t what I signed up for! HAHA. But, It ends up being everything you never thought you needed and more; truly incredible. Even on the most challenging days, the love you feel and the connection is more amazing than anything. At least for me, that’s how it has been.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I’m caring and loving; I lost my sister when I was 13, so I really show my kids how much I love them and make a point to tell them daily..

I would say I encourage my kids to be uniquely themselves and independent, by showing them in my actions.

I’m pretty good at making them laugh either with me or at me and we love an impromptu dance party. I really try to be fun but with a side of responsible.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

A time I was completely overwhelmed as a mother was when I was sick with gall stones and a blocked bile duct. I had multiple outpatient surgeries with a baby and tween. I was sick and I was in pain and exhausted. I felt guilty for not being able to keep up with either kid’s schedule and I had an emotional melt down. This forced me learn how to ASK for help and receive it. Something I don’t think many of us are very good at. Learning that has been monumental in my ability to feel confident reaching out to family and friends when I’m in over my head.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I would say I lost some of my feisty free spirit; but, what I’ve gained is so much more than what I felt I lost. The beauty about motherhood is that things about yourself can be lost, but they can also be found again and when those things come back it’s better than you remembered it. I learned unconditional selfless love because of being a mom and it is what defines me now. Honestly, the thing I am most proud of today, is being a mom and my kids.

What do you want your children to learn from you?

I want my kids to know that they can be anything they want to be, and not to dim their light for anyone. I really take to heart that kids will do what you do, not what you say, so I just try to show them that it’s never too late to do the things that light you up.

Mom of Fame – Krystal: Surviving a Car Accident & Thriving as a New Mom

Krystal is another amazing mom we are excited to introduce you to. She went from surviving a very serious car accident to thriving as a new mom to a beautiful 5 month old baby girl. She talks about how her accident changed her outlook on life, what it’s like to have your baby in the NICU, and how working with children for over 14 years helped (and sometimes hindered) her role as a mom. Please help us welcome her into the Mom of Fame!

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Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

I am a stay at home mom, and my boyfriend Curtis owns his own IT business. We have a 5 month old baby girl named Aria and a Yorkie toy poodle named Charlee. I was in a horrible auto accident last March which resulted in a lot of injuries to my pelvis and ribs, a shattered femur, TBI (traumatic brain injury), and a broken arm. So right around the time I was healing we unexpectedly found out I was pregnant (after being careful). [I was] on many medications still from the pain of the accident and had an upcoming surgery; I was terrified. But fast forward a year later and I still have an upcoming surgery, but we are learning to be parents regardless of my injuries, and I have learned that momming isn’t for the weak! Lol!

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

The best advice was in the beginning to give myself some grace. I had an awful pregnancy surrounded with all day sickness for the whole 9 months (I only gained 12 lbs)! Everyone was saying to enjoy being pregnant, but I couldn’t; I was in bed all last year [between being] pregnant and still healing from my accident. My birth went about as smoothly as it could go. I did hypo-birthing, had a doula and a midwife.  I also got chiropractic adjustments twice that week which I think all that combined helped, but overall God cut me a break on her birth after 41 weeks of being bed bound and not being able to eat chicken, smell food and living mainly on broth, toast and cheez-its for that whole time. 

I was exhausted during pregnancy and people’s advice was to sleep, and boy did I ever! So my biggest advice to any new mom would be sleep as much as you can, go on a baby moon with your spouse, have meals prepped for about the first 2 weeks, give yourself some grace in the beginning and ask and plan for help for at least 2 weeks (hire someone, your mom, sisters, aunts whatever you got to do). You’re gonna wanna shower, sleep and eat in peace and have a moment to yourself and they can help!

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Honestly it’s a wild thought. After a horrible pregnancy, but a great birth I was given this beautiful human. And on no sleep, I was expected to know how to nurse, and/or learn ( learning anything on no sleep is real fun) and know her every need because I am her mom. It was very overwhelming for me. And on day 2 my baby girl was whisked off to the NICU for monitoring because of the medication I was on when pregnant (that I couldn’t stop taking or it risked miscarriage).

The NICU is a whole new beast. Even though she was the biggest and one of the healthiest ones in there, my heart broke leaving her and seeing all of those innocent babies in there. Leaving your new baby and going home without her is a pain I can’t describe; it was really hard. So ultimately she was home after 72 hours and bringing her home was terrifying. People just expect because you gave birth you know how to care for this little person.

It’s a huge adjustment period, and I couldn’t have done it without the help of my mom and Curtis. I was always so jealous of moms, and I thought I would know right away. But the sleep is the hardest one for me. Being expected to heal yourself, sleep when the baby sleeps, (which is awful advice and makes you feel like a living cow whose job is to feed and be a robot for your babies needs ONLY).

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Honestly I am not sure, I just try to take everything day to day. After my accident I really learned tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. So I would say I have a strength in wanting my daughter to experience life; every aspect of it. And to not be afraid but be prepared, smart and fearless. 

Describe a time when you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

A time? It’s not supposed to be all the time? Lol.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I feel like when you become a mother, the old you dies in a way and a new you is born. The struggle begins when you’re trying to learn your baby, your new life, routine, relationship with your partner, and just survive. All while you’re fragile emotionally and physically and all of the same expectations stand as before–such as the home, work, friendships, life. How do you get to know your new self when your baby comes first?

I think I struggled for a while with the old me and new me. Every small task is harder once you’re a mom. The newborn days feel like never ending and it’s overwhelming getting adjusted. But the light at the end of the tunnel is that beautiful baby who thinks you’re the world. She is my miracle baby, and God gave me her for a reason and had me live that awful day, I know now, for her. And that’s all in the world worth gaining.

What do you want your child to learn from you?

I want her to be able to be strong, hardworking and know that life doesn’t give handouts and anything will and can happen. So always be ready for a curve ball but be able to land back on your feet. 

You were a nanny and a teacher for a long time before you became a mother. How do you think that changed your approach to motherhood? How would your approach to teaching or nannying change now that you’re a mother?

I totally thought that working with children for 14+ years I would be equipped in every way for motherhood. When, in fact, it made things harder. I had so much experience that I had unrealistic expectations for myself and my child. I knew what she should be doing, what I was “supposed” to be doing and I was harder on myself when things didn’t go as desired. Every child is different. And I had to remember I was taking care of those kids on a full night’s sleep, and I could check out and leave.

However it also, I believe, made things easier then if I didn’t have that experience. I knew what I needed before she was born, and it wasn’t wipe warmers, and frilly clothes it was jammies, Binky’s and baby wearing. It helped me be realistic. I know she’s gonna throw tantrums, not sleep, and get sick eventually. I knew what teething would be like, and I was calm about all of the normal things children go through because I had dealt with it before with other people’s kids.

My biggest advice is to have help ready, and don’t be afraid to ask for it, you are only human. Also, sleep when you can, love your kids, love your relationship and get away for a break when you can for your sanity. Because your sanity makes you an amazing mom. Don’t judge any other moms; we all are just trying to survive and love our kids and learn our new selves while doing it. 

Mom of Fame – Ashley

Don’t you love social media? We do! You connect with so many different people throughout your life and find the things that you have in common and that unite you as people – in this case, moms.

Lisa went to school with Scott and Scott married Ashley. Recently Lisa and Ashley connected via Instagram cause they were having babies at the same time! Got that?! We love how this whole social media thing works!

Ashley recently went from being a full time working mama of one to a stay at home mama of two. We were curious to hear her thoughts and she happily obliged. She is honest and we love that here at Momfaming.

Please welcome Ashley into our Mom of Fame!

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Tell us about yourself and family!

I’m Ashley and I’ve been married to Scott for 9 years this July (woah!). We recently had our second child, Grayson, who is now 16 weeks old. He has an older sister, Ellie, who is just over 2 years old. We also have a large dog, Tugg, who is our biggest baby and a large fluffy cat, Puffin, who loves all the attention Ellie gives him! I recently quit my job as a research coordinator for a large multi-site concussion study to be a stay at home mom; I’m incredibly grateful to Scott for working to support us all and so lucky to have this opportunity! We are still trying to find our groove but we’re learning to embrace the craziness!

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

My husband was recently told “the days are long, but the years are short” and that really resonates with me at this point in my life. When Ellie came to the hospital to meet her new brother, I literally couldn’t believe how grown up she looked. I don’t know where 2 years went! And now that I’m a SAHM, some days are LONG but I know there will come a day that I wish for the days when I had two babies still. I’m trying to savor every happy moment, take deep breaths in the not so fun moments, and repeat this saying throughout. I will definitely pass this along to other parents!

I’m trying to savor every happy moment, take deep breaths in the not so fun moments, and repeat this saying throughout. I will definitely pass this along to other parents!

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

It’s SO much harder than I imagined it would be. In a good way, most days, but I could never have imagined the emotional load it would carry. Having such extreme love and joy for these adorable tiny humans, but also frustration and annoyance when the same adorable tiny humans are being defiant, throwing a temper tantrum or crying inconsolably for an unknown reason – trying to keep cool in hopes of providing a good example for them is so much harder than I could have imagined!

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

I think I’m a good listener – I really try to listen and engage with Ellie when she’s talking to me.

I’m present – I try not to be on my phone if I don’t have to, and involve Ellie in whatever I’m doing. We’ve been allowing a lot of screen time right now with how needy a baby is, but even then I regularly interrupt her to ask questions about what she’s watching or what she wants to do when we are done.

Lastly I’m affectionate – I want my kids to feel loved, so I make sure to say it and show it as often as I can!

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

Nights where I have to put both kids to bed by myself are overwhelming right now. Grayson wants to nurse-sleep on me all evening, so trying to get Ellie to bed with him crying in the background has been really hard. It makes me short tempered with both her and Grayson and then I feel guilty after they’re asleep – it’s the worst.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I do feel a bit invisible these days – like I only exist to take care of the kids. But I feel like now I am better at appreciating the small things. I also used to be super independent, to a fault, and having kids is helping me realize that accepting help is not a weakness but a necessity 😉

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

It contradicts what I said before, but independence. I want my kids to be confident that they can tackle things on their own. That being said, I hope that my new found appreciation for help softens it a bit so they learn to be independent but accepting of help as well!

You recently went from working mom of one to stay at home mom of two. How has the transition been? What do you miss the most? What have you gained?

Oh man, I’m still trying to come to grips with this one. I wouldn’t change a thing but it has been so hard. I’ll try and put it into words, but it’s gonna be a lengthy description!

I have always worked, and I left a job that I truly loved and gave me a sense of accomplishment. I had reached a point, though, where I felt guilty every time Ellie would do something new and I’d realize that she learned it at daycare. I am SO grateful for her daycare center, we loved them and so did she, but the mom in me wanted to be the one helping her learn all of these new things. Most notably, we were having a snack one day after I had gotten home from work – something like cheerios or raisins, there were a lot of them out in front of her – and she counted to ten. TEN! I couldn’t believe it. So, in talking with my boss about maternity leave, we worked out that I’d come back part time. However, as my maternity leave came to an end, I just couldn’t imagine being away from both of them . I talked with my boss more about what my part time schedule might look like and we just couldn’t find an arrangement that worked for both the job and my family. I should note publicly that I have… had… the best, most understanding boss in the world – another reason it was a really hard choice to leave. But ultimately, it made the most sense financially and emotionally for me to stay home!

What do I miss the most? Everything! Haha, but seriously. I miss having a quiet drive to and from work. I miss having adult conversations that have nothing to do with kids. I miss having clear solutions to problems. I miss having definable goals. I miss having an income. I miss my colleagues. I even miss my office. So, everything.

What have I gained?  Also everything! One of my colleagues sent me a very sweet email after I announced my departure, and it said “you are taking on a much harder but far more rewarding position, one that you and your family will benefit from.” I take such comfort in those words, and I already see the truth in them. Now I get to see all of the things Ellie is learning and I’m the one who she can come to when she needs me. I’ll be here when Grayson rolls over for the first time, when he says his first word, when he takes his first steps.

I am so lucky, even though it’s easy to forget during times of frustration and sometimes I do question whether or not I made the right choice quitting my job. I also know that not every mom has the option to quit her job to stay home. I’m incredibly fortunate to have a partner who supports us so I can be the one to raise our kids. So, to sum it all up, I’m still struggling a bit as I try to find our new normal, but we’ll get there and I know I won’t regret it in the end!