Birth Stories: Emergency C-Section Vs. Planned C-Section

Written By: Naomi Legault

Jax: 4 years old

When I found out I was going to have my first baby, Jax, I started on a planning frenzy. I had to find out the gender as soon as I could to plan out the nursery, choose my stroller colour, buy clothes and more! For all the research I did, the one plan I didn’t think about as much was the birth plan. I had no idea what to expect, so my plan was to just go to the hospital and have a baby when it was time. I did have a lot of unanswered questions: What does a contraction feel like? Will my water break? Where will I be when it happens?

I’ll never forget being wheeled over to see Jax, my heart was exploding.

I was about 10 days late. It was torture for me because I hate the unknown; obviously problematic when having a baby. Turned out that I had to have a membrane sweep to move things along, a couple of days later I started having contractions. I never knew what they would feel like but once they came, oh boy! It was super early in the morning, I started timing them, showered, and did some minimal make up (in extreme pain). I don’t even know how I did it because when I was trying to get dressed it felt impossible. My mother-in-law was visiting at the time, and said “you need to go NOW”.

When we got to the hospital, I finally had some relief. I can’t say enough good things about the hospital that I was at but I had unfortunate luck with my first nurse. I was in so much pain and she basically told me that I wasn’t going to get any sympathy from her since she had four kids. Luckily I got an epidural and much better nurses. Makes all the difference!

Finally Jax in my arms.

Once the epidural kicked in, I just waited for things to progress. After 8 hours of labour we needed to have an emergency C-section. For starters, dilation wasn’t progressing and then actually began to reverse. I also had a very high maternal fever and the baby had pooped inside. So at this point, the doctor said we need to get this baby out now or it’s dangerous for mom and baby.

It all went so fast and before I knew it Jax was born! It was a bit scary for me because, again, I didn’t know what to expect. He came out looking blue which is apparently very normal but we were a bit worried. They needed to work on him a bit with his breathing and monitored him closely. When I finally got wheeled over in the bed to see him he turned his little head as soon as he heard my voice. My husband and I couldn’t believe it.

And just like that, I was a mom.

Leaving the hospital with Jax.

Hudson: 2 years old

When I found out I was pregnant with Hudson, I immediately knew that I was NOT up for a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). There was no way I was going to spend 8 hours in labour only to find out that I needed another emergency C-section. Having it planned was an odd feeling but I did enjoy knowing when he was coming and likely no surprises. The other great part was… no contractions! How could I turn that down? Other than my miscarriage, I had never experienced such horrific pain!

Welcome to the world, Hudson.

About a week before I was scheduled to deliver, I started having extreme high blood pressure and was in and out of the hospital that whole week on bed rest. I really wished at that point that they had done the C-section early but no such luck. That said, it may have been any doctor on call and I wanted to wait for mine. I felt like I knew what to expect with the second C-section, but it was a little bit longer since it wasn’t a rushed emergency. Certainly not a pleasant experience overall but nor is pushing (I bet).

We women are tough cookies, aren’t we?

Time to go home, Hudson

Recovery wasn’t exactly a walk in the park either, especially the second time around, when I also had a toddler in tow. Luckily both times my husband had two weeks off and I had lots of family to help me.

There you have it, blessed with two beautiful, healthy boys, Jax and Hudson, 4 and 2 years old. I can’t imagine my life without them!

Two best buds settling in at home.

Mom Life – Pregnancy with a Toddler

Let me tell you something. It was about four years ago now when I was having one might call ‘the perfect pregnancy’. I felt great, I thought I looked great and I was anticipating this little boys arrival with many rests and naps.

Pregnancy the first go around means a photo every week!

Anyone I talked to I would tell how wonderful pregnancy can be and how I would do it ten times over. We had some scares in terms of blood work, but the pregnancy itself was great.

My labor was much of the same. I started feeling contractions in the morning (I had extremely bad cramps growing up so it almost felt like I was used to this) and didn’t go to the hospital until midnight. My son was born about four hours later.

Let’s fast forward three years later. Pregnant with my second little one is extremely different. The reason? My guess is the toddler that is currently hanging on my arm begging for chocolate milk while also requesting that I make dinner and build him his new dresser.

Being pregnant with a toddler is not for the weak. I repeat. NOT FOR THE WEAK. You have to go into it KNOWING that it will not be the same. You have a little person that doesn’t understand limitations and demands attention. You would *almost* forget that you were pregnant if it wasn’t for all those wonderful symptoms and the fact that you start showing extremely early (I mean, someone asked if I was pregnant when I was only 13 weeks)!

Last week my pregnancy app had a little note saying ‘take time for yourself, mama. Go get a manicure or go take a nap’. This note literally made me cry (literally). Why? Why would you tease a mother that clearly cannot take the time to do that (but desperately wants to)?!

On top of all this you build in the total mom guilt of bringing such a big change to your first born. My son seems to be doing OK with everything right now, but we clearly know that things will be different. I will never forget my mom telling me that she felt that as soon as my oldest brother came into the hospital room to visit her second born – things changed. Right then and there the relationship changed.

I know we are in for a change. I am not sure I am completely ready for it, but I know how completely blessed I am to have it.

Pregnancy is hard and motherhood is harder. The thing I appreciate the most right now is my mom friends and family. The friends and family I can easily talk to about the ups and downs of motherhood.

I enjoy my nieces and nephews and I love them like my own (whether they are by blood or friendship). This season of life that we are all going through is beautiful so please, spam me with photos of your children, cry with me when you feel overwhelmed and let’s feel joy for each other when an accomplishment is made.

This is life for all of us right now and although it’s not perfect, it’s pretty great.

Mom of Fame – Naomi

Naomi is the epitome of a fun mom. She has two toddler aged boys and she’s always taking them somewhere or doing something exciting to keep them entertained. Because of this she decided to start a blog to give other moms ideas of things to do with their own kiddos. We were so excited that Naomi agreed to share some of her expertise with us, all the way from Canada!

She talks about why she loves being a stay at home mom, why moms just need to accept help and how she keeps her boys healthy. Please help us welcome her into the Mom of Fame and be sure to check out her blog at the link below!

Please tell us a little about yourself and your family.

We are a family of four living in Ottawa; Canada’s capital city. My husband John, myself (Naomi), and our toddler boys, Jax aged 4 and Hudson aged 2. We certainly have our hands full with our boys who are so full of energy, they keep us busy all day long! I was a working mom, now turned stay at home mom, and I absolutely love it. I never thought I would be but I’m feeling so fortunate that I’m able to stay at home. My eldest, Jax, will start school this September and I can’t believe how fast time is flying by. I’m happy I got to spend all this time with him before he goes to school. Jax is a January baby so he will be one of the older kids in school and starts later which gives us more time together. Hudson too, being a February baby.

I started my blog http://www.naomibianca613.com in the summer of 2018. Since I had Jax in 2015, a friend of mine kept encouraging me to start a blog. I always shrugged it off, until more people started suggesting it since I was always out doing fun activities. Everyone said I might as well write about it and finally I thought, hey why not! I am truly enjoying it and have loved connecting with other mom bloggers all over North America.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it?

Accept the help! People will naturally want to help, so take the frozen lasagna and accept the babysitting for a nap. Have your friend over who also went through a breastfeeding nightmare in the beginning. I listened a wee bit but I’m guilty of not accepting help. My neighbour and friend were wonderful in helping me with my breastfeeding challenges and I was able to breastfeed both children for the first year.  

Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

Absolutely, 110%. That’s what friends and family are for.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

Honestly I don’t think I ever had any foresight into motherhood. I knew it would be harder than my childless life and it certainly is. You’re trying to keep your precious ones alive and thriving.

What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Firstly I like to think I’m a fun mom. We are always somewhere on the daily. Whether it be a play center, a museum, a pumpkin patch, an apple orchard, winter festival…you get the picture! I love being out and about, and they are always having so much fun so it makes me feel good to know they are getting the most out of life (even at an early age).

Keeping my kids healthy and active. I try my best to introduce them to new healthy foods and recipes regardless of resistance from one or both. We keep active with soccer, swimming, gymnastics and more. They have even started to exercise with me.

Last but not least I’m nurturing in general and to their personalities. I let them try different things to see what they’re excelling at and provide accordingly.

Describe a time you were completely overwhelmed as a mother?

Probably the early days of bringing a newborn home with a 2-year-old around. Trying to breastfeed with a toddler was chaos. Luckily, like anything else in life, we eventually found our groove.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since  becoming a mother? What have you gained?

I’ve gained everything and can’t imagine my life without my kids. What I have lost, is the ability to just leave and do whatever I want at any moment of time. The ability to just go to the mall and shop for three hours. It’s just not that easy with kids in tow. It’s amazing how errands without children feel now! It’s such a luxury and I’ve lost free time essentially, but doesn’t everyone when they have kids? At nap time it’s a decision between laundry, or forget it and just relax. One thing I know is that I will miss not having that free time when they are older and don’t want their mom during teenage years, or when then go to college or university should they choose that path.

What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

Empathy, respect and compassion. I pride myself on these qualities and as a mom, bullying worries me so much. All you can do is teach your kids life lessons and hope that they take it all in. You never know your child might be the bully and you must work with it. Kids can be cruel and it’s a scary world unfortunately.

I also want them to continue to learn safety rules because I truly believe you can never be too safe in this world. There are terrible people in our world and we have to try to keep our kids prepared and as safe as possible.

Five Things That Changed Once I Became a Mother

We all know that changes happen when kids come into the picture. Changes in relationships, changes with how you run your life, changes in your body. Changes.

Since having Ben, and now baby two on the way, I’ve changed in weird ways that I never thought would happen. Some are things I never thought I would do and some are obvious changes to most, but not to me.

What are some of the weird ways you’ve changed since having kids?

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Flying

How do you travel when they are just babies?!

I use to be an OK flier. I mean, I never LOVED it, but I did it. The first flight that I had scheduled after my son was born was to go visit my nephew (brand new) in California. When I bought the ticket I was SO excited. It was going to be a long weekend away visiting family by myself. It was going to be good for me.

Cue the morning of the flight. I popped a couple of Xanax thinking that will calm the mood that I was currently having. My husband bid me farewell and my parents came to watch my son. My dad was taking my bags to the car.

I sat in the middle of my living room and DID NOT MOVE. I couldn’t do it. I could not go on that flight. The only thing my mind could think about was if anything happened to me, Ben would never remember me (crazy, right?).

It was rough having to tell my brother that I just couldn’t do it. That I just could not get myself on the plane, but I did not regret my choice. Having a child does weird things to you, and this was one of them.

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Shopping

Oh, man did I love shopping. I loved going to the mall, to target and even to the grocery store. I took my time.

Now, there is a sense of urgency that comes along with shopping and an ‘almost’ potty trained toddler. Before I could never imagine getting in and out of a grocery store in ten minutes (I was a browser), but now I make it in record time.

There is just something about being at a meat counter waiting to get your food and your toddler running away from you with his transformer toy (thinking he’s HILARIOUS) that makes you want to get in and out.

My favorite things are now Amazon’s two day shipping and Kroger Click List. Two must have for moms!

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A Greater Appreciation for my Mother (and mothers in general)

This goes without saying. You cannot fully appreciate your mother until you have gone

My mother (and father) created this.

through what she’s gone through. Times change, but motherhood really doesn’t. We more or less have the same struggles, challenges and joys that our mothers did.

My mother had three children. I am pregnant with my second and feeling like I’m drowning. Kudos to her.

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Gag Reflex

I remember being told that this would go away once I had kids. I didn’t believe it. I HATED vomit and poop and having to deal with any that.

Let’s be clear, I still do. When you are potty training a child that fear goes out the window. Just the other day, at five months pregnant, I had to clean up pee and poop from my sons floor since he just decided to go (claims it was an accident… sure, kid).

From day one you have to be comfortable with the ‘gross’ stuff. Birthing a child isn’t some gorgeous moment. Is it a beautiful moment? Yes, it is. Is it a clean moment? NOPE.

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My Mom Tribe

The mom tribe kids ❤

Not gonna lie. I thought this was kinda funny when I first heard the term. I most likely mom-shamed those of you that said it. Once I had Ben I quickly realized how quick I was to call/text my friend Cindy who had a baby five months prior.

Three years later and I am still leaning on my mom tribe with questions and, honestly, an ear to vent. I am not sure what I would do without all of them.

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Pregnancy the Second Time Around

Exciting news in our household! We are expecting our second child! It’s crazy how different this time around has been. You don’t really have much time to think about what’s happening or to slow down even for a second.

You also feel so many more emotions.

Excitement. Nerves. Excitement. Anxiety. Excitement. Guilt. Excitement. This is how my brain worked when I found out I was pregnant with my second child.

• Excitement over bringing another amazing life into this world.
• Nerves about how I was going to do it all (working, two kids, photography).
• Excitement over growing our family.
• Anxiety about how I was going to love another baby as much as I love Ben.
• Guilt. So much guilt. Weird, right? I have guilt and excitement for the same reasons.
• Extreme excitement for Ben to get a sibling. A built in friend.

My little family is incredibly excited to start this new chapter in our life. We are insanely blessed and cannot wait to bring this little one into the world.

Moms of two – Any advice?! Ben is still coming around to the idea of a sibling. He obviously doesn’t ‘get’ it yet, but is always saying ‘no, thanks’ when we ask him if he wants a brother or sister!!