Mom of Fame – Carrie

The whole idea behind the name “momfaming” was to “fame” all different kinds of moms in hopes of ending some “mom shaming”. We were just so tired of reading about moms judging other moms that we wanted a place where moms were celebrated like they all deserve to be. That is why when we stumbled across Carrie’s video about mom shaming on facebook we knew that we had to talk to her!

Carrie is a mom who does it all. She raises 4 kiddos with a pilot husband who isn’t always around to help, and works as an executive consultant at a well-known skin care company. In order to juggle all of her jobs she took her youngest child with her on a business trip. During this trip a woman “momshamed” her for having her baby out too late. Instead of letting it get her down, she used it to empower herself and other women by creating a “Women Supporting Women” movement.

We love the message Carrie is trying to get out and are so happy that she was willing to participate in our interview. Please helps us welcome her into the Mom of Fame, and read on to hear all about her and her movement.

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Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

I am a Christian. Pilots wife, mom to 4 active kiddos (Thomas 8, Amelia 5, Estele 3 & Blaire 9 months) I am an entrepreneur, CEO of AIE and now #WSW.

What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?

I guess this isn’t necessarily advice on motherhood, but a way that I live. To “Fail Forward” every single day. I try and be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister & friend every day. A better version of myself, learn from my mistakes and give myself grace.

How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?

I honestly didn’t have any expectations. Before dating my husband Mark, I didn’t see being a wife nor mother in my future.

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What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?

Patience, Organization and Multitasking. My husband is a pilot, so I need to be able to do everything on my own. I work from home and the kids take piano lessons, play sports and dance. I think I thrive on being busy.

Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.

My children do well on very little sleep and none of them sleep through the night. Sometimes after a night where it seems like I am up every hour on the hour by someone…I feel like I am done for the day before it’s started.

Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?

In 2010, when we had Thomas and we decided that I would become a stay at home mom, I was thrilled. By 2014 my identity had become Mark’s wife and Thomas/Amelia’s mom. While those are lovely, I needed to find my “Carrie-ness.” I’m not sure who coined this term, but it was used to describe me back in High School. In August of that year…

I found a new church that felt like home and started a business that fed my soul.

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What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?

Strength and abundance. What’s funny is for the past few years I have chosen a word to focus on. This year I woke from a deep sleep with two words engraved on my heart and ringing in my ear and you guessed it, they were Abundance & Strength. Strength in knowing that they choose anything out of this life. But they only get one, so make it count. Abundance. AHHHH now this is a word I struggled with at first. It felt very gluttonous. After deep conversation with my soundboard & power partner Tracey, she helped me realize that abundant can mean so many things. I pray that my children are abundantly blessed in life, so that they can be abundantly give back and pour into others.

Describe your recent experience with “momshaming” and how it encouraged you to come up with your “Women Supporting Women” campaign on Facebook.

While on a business trip to New Orleans my then 8 month old and I were outside on Bourbon Street. She was sleeping in her carrier and I was rocking her. We were in the restaurant for a celebration and at 10 pm the whole establishment became a bar, at which point we left. I planned to take a Lyft home with a couple gal pals who were finishing a walk down Bourbon Street. It was 10:06 pm, I had just gotten off a “Face-time” call with my husband where I jokingly called myself “mother-of-the-year” for having my baby on Bourbon. The universe must not have known I was kidding because seconds later a women came charging at me from the bar across the street. She cussed me up one way and down another about what a “bad mom” I was. I hate confrontation. It makes me very uncomfortable. I made sure I looked her in her eyes and said “I see you and I hear you.” I explained the situation and her response was still alarming, she continued to call me ridiculous. I’m sure it was only a few minutes but at that moment it felt like an eternity. At the time, I was embarrassed and shamed. But after time and consideration I found peace. I also found my voice and a topic that fuels a fire deep down inside. Finally on October 3rd, I broke my silence and created a movement for #WSW or Women Supporting Women.

Here is a link to the original video 

Here is our #WSW Facebook Group

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5 Things I Said I’d Never Do As A Mom (But Definitely Do!)

We’ve all done it. We’ve seen a friend (or even a stranger) doing something with her baby and said “I would never do that with my child!” Well I’m here to tell you, you just might!

Now even though I am the co-creator of momfaming I’m not going to lie to you and say that I’ve never mom-shamed. I didn’t consider it mom-shaming at the time, I just thought I was giving my opinion about a topic (that I obviously knew nothing about). Once I became a mom, though, I started to understand where the other moms were coming from.

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Here are the 5 things I said I’d never do as a mom, but definitely do:

1. Ride in the backseat with the baby

This one I actually shamed Lisa for (sorry, Lisa!). We both arrived at our friends house at the same time and she got out of the backseat with her newborn. I made fun of her and said that I would never do it. Well, fast forward a few years and I just rode for 2 and a half hours in the backseat wedged between my baby and my dogs. Was it fun? NO! But did I know that my baby was breathing and happy the whole way to Holland? YUP!

2. Constantly worry about the baby getting sick

I was basically a hermit the first 2 months of my son’s life!

I used to be the director of a daycare and one of the most common questions during the tour was about our sick policy and how often infectious diseases ran through the school. I always told them that the first year a child is in school they will be sick pretty often, so you might as well get it over with, right? WRONG! I was basically a hermit the first 2 months of my son’s life (to be honest we basically still are since the winter is never going to end!) I understand he is eventually going to get sick (my husband says he can’t live in a bubble, ugh) but I would much rather it be when he is older.

3. Let the baby sleep in our room for more than a few months

While I was pregnant, I read that babies should sleep in their parents room for 6 to 12 months. I thought that was absolutely crazy! Keep my baby in my room until they are 1?! I’ll never sleep again! Well…my baby is 6 months old and he’s still right next to my bed! He has now outgrown the bassinet and I need to figure out what our next step is. I’ve asked my husband if he can stay until he is 4 but I’m pretty sure the grunt and dirty look I got in return meant no.

4. Entertain the baby 24/7

I swore I would never be the mom who constantly entertains because I know that children need to learn to play by themselves.

As a kindergarten teacher I observed children playing all the time. During these times I could definitely tell the difference between the students who were constantly entertained at home and the ones who were sometimes left alone to play by themselves. I swore I would never be the mom who constantly entertains because I know that children need to learn to play by themselves. I’m having a tough time with this one, though. I feel so guilty if my son is on the ground or in his activity center and I am not talking to or playing with him. I’m hoping this one comes with time (but I’m really afraid it won’t!)

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5. Let the baby’s schedule dictate mine

My husband and I had a conversation before I even got pregnant about how we aren’t going to be those people who completely change once they have a baby. Obviously our lives and priorities were going to change, but we didn’t want a baby to completely dictate our lives. I’m not sure if we were naive or just plain dumb but that is EXACTLY what happened. I live my life in 3-hour increments. I feed the baby, I play with the baby, the baby naps (while I write a blog about everything I said I’d never do!). Then I do it all over again! If I want to take the baby somewhere it is right after I feed him and then we have about 2 hours to do what we want before we have to be home to feed again! If that’s not a baby dictator, I don’t know what is!

The biggest thing I’ve learned through all of this is that every mom is doing her best. It may not be what you would do with your own child, but it is what is working best for her. Don’t judge until you have walked in her shoes. And even then, no judgement here!

~Erin

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Momfaming is Born

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It was May of 2004 and Erin was having a bad week. It was the end of her freshman year at Michigan State and she had broken her elbow and then broken up with her boyfriend all within a few days. She went back to her dorm room after her last final and Lisa, who was apparently also having a bad week, was there. “Erin, I know you broke your elbow and you and your boyfriend broke up…but look at my hair!”

“Erin, I know you broke your elbow and you and your boyfriend broke up…but look at my hair!”

She had gotten highlights from the local college of beauty and they weren’t exactly what she had wanted (think skunk’s tail). It wasn’t the support Erin had expected, but it at least made her laugh (and in Lisa’s defense, the break up was long overdue).

From then on, we have been there for each other through more break ups, broken bones, bad hair days, and even worse. We met at the beginning of freshman year but really became good friends after this encounter. We went on to live across the hall from each other sophomore year (where Erin introduced Lisa and her husband), and then shared a room in an apartment junior and senior year.

After college we stayed close, talking to each other every day (usually multiple times per day). In 2011 Erin was in Lisa’s wedding and in 2014 Lisa was in Erin’s. Once Lisa had her son in 2015, we were afraid the relationship would change because Lisa wouldn’t have as much time for the phone calls and texts; but that definitely didn’t happen. In 2016 Erin had her son and it cemented our friendship forever. We decided that our sons would be “forced best friends” and we get them together as much as we can.

Both of us try to be the best mothers we can, and that looks very different in each of our houses. Lisa is a full-time working mom (and even does photography in her “free” time) while Erin “retired” to become a stay-at-home mom. We both envy each other (because the grass is always greener, right!?) and respect each other as women and especially as mothers. We decided that too often moms are judged for every decision they make. Although we gossip frequently we try our hardest not to judge or “mom-shame”. Thus, momfaming was born!

We decided that too often moms are judged for every decision they make.

We wanted a place where mom’s were famed for all they do. We will do this by showcasing all kinds of moms who each have different experiences and opinions. We will also occasionally write posts about our own life and motherhood adventures. We can’t wait to see where this can go and we are excited that you are on the journey with us! Please check back often to see different moms in our “Hall of Fame” and let us know if you, or a mom you know, wants to be interviewed!

Your NOT so Perfect Moms,
Lisa & Erin